The Seven Levels of Intimacy Quotes

“Love is the wanting, and the having, and the choosing, and the becoming. Love is the desire to see the person we love be and become all he or she is capable of being and becoming. Love is a willingness to lay down our own personal plans, desires, and agenda for the good of the relationship. Love is delayed gratification, pleasure, and pain. Love is being able to live and thrive apart, but choosing to be together.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“In fact, the more each person can remove his or her ego from the discussion and focus on the subject matter, the more fruitful the conversation will be for all involved.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want. Freedom is the strength of character to do what is good, true, noble, and right.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Withholding love is a bit like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Life is about love. It's about whom you love and whom you hurt. Life's about how you love yourself and how you hurt yourself. Life's about how you love and hurt the people close to you. Life is about how you love and hurt the people who just cross your path for a moment. Life is about love.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Never believe a promise from a man or woman who has no discipline. They have broken a thousand promises to themselves, and they break their promise for you.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“We can never get enough of what we don't really need.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“The problem is that without an understanding for their meaning and purpose, most relationships quickly become little more than vehicles for the pursuit of selfish and individual goals. Disagreements then become a battle between conflicting interests, rather than a search for a mutually satisfying resolution.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Connecting with people in a powerful way is a skill that must be developed, nurtured, and practiced.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Love is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go, and if we choose to base our most important relationships on how we feel at any particular moment, we are in for a rough and rocky journey. Love is a verb, not a noun. Love is something we do, not something that happens to us.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“The most devastating form of loneliness is not to be without friends; rather, it is to be surrounded by friends and never to be truly known.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“feelings are one of the most inconsistent aspects of the human person.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“When we love people who are selfless, kind, generous, humble, compassionate, and mindful of the needs of others, we too become selfless, kind, generous, humble, compassionate, and mindful of the needs of others. We become what we love. What we love intrigues our hearts and captures our imagination. We spend our days thinking about what we love. Thought determines action, actions determine habits, habits determine character, and your character is your destiny. What we love consumes us. It should. Love should be an obsession, but let us remember that we have the power to choose what we become obsessed with. What are you in love with? What fascinates you? What intrigues you and captures your imagination? Nothing will affect your life more than whom and what you choose to love.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Your essential purpose is to become the-best-version-of-yourself. Plant that one idea at the center of your life. Base every decision upon your essential purpose. Make every choice with your essential purpose in mind. Place this one idea at the center of your inner dialogue and you will very quickly understand why ideas change the world. Everything makes sense in relation to our essential purpose, especially relationships.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want. Freedom is the strength of character to do what is good, true, noble, and right. Freedom is the ability to choose and celebrate the-best-version-of-yourself in every moment. Freedom without discipline is impossible.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Goals drive us. Goals bring the best out of us. Goals and dreams challenge us to look at the world and ourselves in a different way. Goals flood our lives with passion, purpose, and energy. And goals will do all of this for your relationships also. Stop coasting along; dream, and set some goals that will lead to the fulfillment of those dreams. As human beings, we are most fully alive when we are changing and growing and stretching our boundaries in our quest to be all we can be. As a result, we respond very well to goals. The art of goal-setting means choosing goals that are challenging but attainable—that is, not so easy that you are not challenged, and not so difficult that you become discouraged. If you have an enormous dream, you may need to break it down into several stages, each defined by its own smaller and more manageable goals.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Love is the wanting, and the having, and the choosing, and the becoming. Love is a desire to see the person we love be and become all he or she is capable of being and becoming. Love is a willingness to lay down our own personal plans, desires, and agenda for the good of the relationship. Love is delayed gratification, pleasure, and pain. Love is being able to live and thrive apart, but choosing to be together.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Intimacy is a risk. It should not be taken lightly, but we must take it. No man or woman can live a full life without being known by at least one person. Intimacy is a prerequisite for all those who wish to live the abundant life. The only true reason to delay the adventurous and risky pursuit of real intimacy is the absence of a confidant freely chosen and worthy of our trust.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“If you truly want to be intimate with the people you love, you need to know what drives them. In different stages of our lives we are driven by different things; that is why it is so important to make this an annual exercise with regular review throughout the year. If you asked your spouse what his or her dreams were when you first starting dating and you haven’t spent much time on the subject since, you will likely discover that he or she has a whole new set of dreams now. If this is the case, may I suggest you ask this question of your significant other as a starting point for the renewal in your relationship: Which of your dreams got lost along the way while I was too busy pursuing my own”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“The very nature of love is transformative. Love is the most powerful agent of change in the universe. We shouldn’t fall in love; we should rise in love. Love shouldn’t cause us to be some-lesser-version-of-ourselves; love should inspire and challenge us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Life is about love, and what we choose to love can transform us for better or for worse.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Our feelings shouldn’t direct our actions and our lives. Our actions should be driven by our hopes, values, and aspirations; above all, they should be driven by our essential purpose. People who are driven by feelings are dangerous. They are undisciplined, inconsistent, and unreliable. But people who are driven by their values and a clear understanding of their essential purpose are to be treasured. They are disciplined, consistent, and reliable.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Taking the time to get to know them, listening more and speaking less, seeking to understand rather than to be understood. By accepting other people for who they are with all their quirks, understanding that they have had a different experience of life and that those different experiences have contributed to make them who they are today. With every encounter, seek to know people more: who they are, where they come from, what their story is, what their passions are, what are their hopes and dreams.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“We should show respect for other people even before they have done anything to deserve it, simply because they are human beings. Respect reminds people of their innate and extraordinary value even if they have forgotten it themselves. At the same time, we should always expect to have to earn the respect of others. I have often heard people speak of their encounters with great leaders such as Mother Teresa and Gandhi, and almost to a person they say the same thing, “I felt that for those moments there was nothing else in the world but the two of us and our conversation. People were trying to pull at us, and there was a schedule to be keep, but she gazed into my eyes as if she didn’t have a care in the world, as if nothing other than me existed.” Who doesn’t like to be treated in that way? How do such people do it? The outer action of respect is born from the inner quality of reverence, and that reverence is the fruit of reflection, which helps us to see people and things in their true value.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“You will never have a great relationship until you learn to truly appreciate the wonder of another person. And you will never experience the depths of intimacy until you grow to be thankful for the opportunity”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“In a world where so little makes sense, understanding our essential purpose makes sense of everything. In a world of clutter and confusion, understanding our essential purpose brings a startling clarity to the moments of our everyday lives. In a world filled with experts and their contradictory theories, understanding our essential purpose helps us to listen once again to the quiet voice within.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Everything should be embraced or rejected according to how it affects our essential purpose.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“What keeps people together in dynamic relationships? A common purpose. Why do people break up? Because they have no sense of common purpose; or they lose sight of their common purpose; or their common purpose becomes unimportant to them. So in order to create extraordinary relationships we have to develop a common understanding of a shared purpose. But before we can understand the purpose of our relationships, we must first understand our purpose as individuals.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Common interests are not enough to build a great relationship on. You may enjoy hiking together or traveling together, biking together or listening to live music together. You may share a love of movies, museums, art, animals, or any number of interests that can draw people together. But it is a mistake to think that these provide a solid foundation for a long-term relationship. In fact, common interests can very often turn out to be a false foundation, creating the illusion of a deeper relationship than was actually present.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“Too often we spend too much time asking or wondering why it didn’t work out. Why do friendships end? Why do people break up? These are great questions, but surely the more important question is, What keeps people together? And not just together, but together in dynamic relationships. For the primary goal of relationships is not simply to stay together. Many people succeed in staying together but have failed relationships: their relationships are surviving but not thriving.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

“You may think you know just about everything there is to know about your partner, but you will be amazed at what you are missing out on if you open yourself up to taking another look. So, from time to time, it may help to approach each other as if for the first time. In this way you will experience the joy of rediscovery. Intimacy is not always about seeing new things. Sometimes it is about seeing what has always been before you, but in a different light or from a new perspective.”
― Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved