Find Your People Quotes

“We have to become people who stay. We have to become friends who show up to chop things for a few hours and stay even later to do the dishes, not just to eat. And we need to do this consistently, time and time again.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“my neuro-buddy Curt Thompson likes to say we all come into the world looking for someone looking for us.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“You will disappoint me. I will disappoint you. God will never disappoint us. Accepting this shifts our expectations from people to God. And He can handle our expectations.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We love others in the manner in which we ourselves were loved. Equally true: we tend to hurt others in the manner in which we ourselves have been hurt.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We hide physically because if we aren't seen we can't be known and if we can't be known we can't be rejected.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We’ve replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk, and we’ve substituted soul-baring, deep, connected living with texts and a night out together every once in a while,”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“One by one I went to my people and did exactly what I used to be terrified to do: I openly acknowledged that I needed them.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“C. S. Lewis said, “Friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travellers.”[4]”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We’re not meant to learn alone. Or to work alone. Or to do chores alone. Or to relax alone. Or to celebrate alone. Or to cry alone. Or to make decisions alone.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We’ve replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk, and we’ve substituted soul-baring, deep, connected living with texts and a night out together every once in a while, because the superficial stuff seems more manageable and less risky. But let’s face it: whether we live lonely or deeply connected, life is messy. The magic of the best of relationships is the mess, the sitting-together-on-the-floors-of-bathrooms, hugging-and-sobbing mess.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We’re all just kind of waiting for connection to find us. We’re waiting for someone else to initiate. Someone else to be there for us. Someone else to make the plans or ask the perfectly crafted question that helps us bare our souls.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“True accountability comes from deep love and care for our people. If our people know we love them, we can bear with one another when our words come out a little wrong. We love them too much to leave them.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“These individuals may be of varying ages and cross your path in various ways, but the point is to look for people with certain qualities to play different roles in your life, not just seek out two to three people who are exactly like you and expect them to meet all your relational needs.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“You and I both desire deep connection. We want someone to know our deepest, darkest secrets and to love us anyway. But that type of community doesn’t come naturally. We have to look for it and then fight to protect it once we have it.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“And yet the book I base my life on, as well as the God who built us, starts the whole, big story with these two lines: “Let us create man in our image.” “It is not good for man to be alone.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“Do I really share everything? Yes. With the right safe, few, vetted people. You really do share everything. But not with everyone. Look back at the circles from chapter 4 and remember that we are working toward an inner circle of three to five people who know it all. Your whole village doesn’t need to know everything. Only those committed to walking with you through your everyday life and deepest struggles qualify here.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“I’d reveal enough so people felt close to me but not give anyone enough to use against me.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“You and I need friends who, instead of trying to fix us, help us to fix our eyes more firmly on Jesus.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“If God is in the center of our relational circle, we will be fulfilled, and out of that fulfillment we can bless others. But if people are in the center of our relational circle, we end up pulling on others to meet needs that they can’t ever fully meet.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We hide physically because if we aren't seen we can't be known and if we can't be known we can't be rejected or worse have a vulnerability used to hurt us even further.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“When we think the same thoughts, we manifest the same behaviors, and those behaviors impact our relationships in similar ways”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“The Bible doesn’t speak to individuals. It’s written for people living out their faith together!”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We have to fight to hold on to our people. Let’s notice the traps the enemy is using to divide and distract us from healthy relationships.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“what I see everywhere is women cheering for one another, propelling each other forward, laying down their lives to make their world better.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We want this kind of accountability. We find rest in it. Truth in love is the safest place to be, even if it stings a little. Iron sharpens iron. It isn’t supposed to be comfortable. But it leads us closer to God and closer to who He wants us to be—and that ends up feeling like home.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“Our sin is worse than we imagine. And the grace of God is bigger and better than we can imagine.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“Community should, in its truest form, reflect aspects of who God is and how He loves. Which brings me to a question: Who has God put in your life—here and now and right under your nose—that you haven’t really connected with yet?”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“God’s idea of community is deep, intentional, day-in and day-out connection, loving at all times, bearing with one another, sticking closer than siblings, naming every sin, running our races together, encouraging each other as long as it is called today.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“This is the endgame of community: we find our people, and together we build safe, beautiful outposts that offer the love of God.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

“We are called to be a community of people, on a mission, delighting in God, delighting in each other, redeemed and reconciling the world, bringing them and inviting them into this family. This is the ultimate purpose of community.”
― Jennie Allen, Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World