Quick Service Quotes

“Joss raised his eyebrows.
'My dear J.B., when you madly dispensed with my services, you surely did not expect that a man of my gifts would be out of employment long? I was snapped up immediately. I have a sort of general commission to look after things here. You might call me the Claines Hall Fuhrer.'
'Steptoe said you were his valet.'
'Yes, that's another way of putting it.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Quick Service

“She just wanted to see you and say hullo' [Joss]
'We haven't met in fifteen years.' [J.B. Duff]
'Ah, but you're like the chewing-gum. The taste linger.' [Joss]”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Quick Service

“[Joss] 'Poor unhappy wreck. I sometimes feel the best thing he could do would be to throw himself away and start afresh. But he won't be cross with me. Not with lovable old Weatherby. Did I ever tell you that I once saved him from drowning back in America? Stick your head through the transom and watch how his face lights up when I appear.'...

'Aha J.B.' said Joss sunnily. 'Good morrow.'

'Oh, you're there are you?' said Mrs. Duff.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Quick Service

“What can I get you, Mrs. Chavender? Eggs? Fish? Ham?'

It was a moment big with fate. On this woman's answer hung the destinies not only of all those present, but in addition of J.B. Duff, managing director of the firm of Duff and Trotter, London's leading provision merchants; of Joss Weatherby, the artist; of Chibnall, Mrs. Steptoe's butler; and of Vera Pym, barmaid at the Rose and Crown in the neighboring town of Loose Chippings, Chibnall's fiancee.

If she had said 'Eggs,' nothing would have happened. Had she replied 'Fish,' the foundations of this little world would have remained unrocked.
'Ham' said Mrs. Chavender.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Quick Service