Kept Man Quotes

“I’d been hit on by dicks before, but this guy in a giant, inflatable penis costume took it to a whole new level.”
― Alexa Land, Kept Man

“I sent him a text that said: I’m SO sorry. This is Jasper on Ash’s phone, by the way. I didn’t expect Nana to kidnap you. Should we try to distract her? A minute later, he replied: Nah, she’s adorable. I’ll message you when she finishes with me. Right now, she’s trying to come up with a rhyme for wieners. Let’s hope to god I can talk her into an instrumental theme song. I”
― Alexa Land, Kept Man

“Oh yes. In fact, after dinner I’ll be reading you my latest fan fic. It’s four hundred and ninety thousand words. You’re not offended by three-hundred-page sex scenes involving Tribbles, are you?”
― Alexa Land, Kept Man