The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks Quotes

“Marnie”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“DAD, CAN YOU TELL LOTTIE TO SHUT UP?! SHE SOUNDS LIKE A SHEEP WHO HAS JUST BEEN PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY A BADGER!’ So I shouted back, ‘DAD, CAN YOU TELL TOBY THAT HE’S AN IDIOT AND THAT BADGERS DON’T GO AROUND PUNCHING SHEEP?!’ ‘DAD, CAN YOU TELL LOTTIE THAT SHE’S ACTUALLY THE IDIOT BECAUSE I SAW A BADGER PUNCH A SHEEP ON YOUTUBE ONCE AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE WHEN SHE SINGS?!’ ‘DAD, CAN YOU ASK TOBY TO EXPLAIN WHY ON EARTH A BADGER WOULD EVER PUNCH A SHEEP?!’ ‘MAYBE THE SHEEP SCRATCHED THE BADGER’S CAR AND THEN TRIED TO RUN AWAY LIKE THAT GUY WE SAW IN TESCO’S CAR PARK LAST WEEK!’ ‘DAD, I CAN’T LIVE WITH THIS MORON ANY MORE – HE’S ROTTING MY BRAIN CELLS! CAN WE SELL HIM TO THE CIRCUS?’ Dad shouted back, ‘CAN YOU BOTH BE QUIET?! I’M FINDING IT VERY DIFFICULT TO CONCENTRATE ON MY FUNNY DOG VIDEOS!’ Then Mum shouted, ‘I’M TRYING TO GET BELLA TO SLEEP. IF YOU DON’T ALL SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO (insert”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“So many questions, so few answers!”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks

“bacon butties,”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“NOOOOOOOO, Mum!!!!!!! I need to trade my ultra-rare neon sloth with Luke for his legendary fly-ride albino monkey tomorrow!”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“wee”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“I guess maybe having a baby ages you or something …”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“Cucey!”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series

“pieing”
― Katie Kirby, The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks: The second hilarious diary in the bestselling series