This Charming Man Quotes

“It had been quite a while since she’d flirted. It was like riding a bike, in that you probably shouldn’t do it in public without practising first.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“He’d never managed to get as much information out of a suspect as users were seemingly happy to give up on creating an account.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“She looked at the glass in her other hand. ‘Also, some lemonade. Everyone likes lemonade.’ ‘I don’t,’ said Banecroft. ‘You are not included in everyone and you never have been.’ ‘I always suspected.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“She was also cursed with the kind of terrifying certainty found only in drunks, religious zealots and people who used the word ‘sheeple’ on social media.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“You’re a dessert shop. Why do you have a baseball bat under the counter?’ ‘There are some very angry diabetics out there.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“I was rather hoping we might talk in private?’ said Dr Carter. ‘I’m afraid that isn’t possible. In these more cautious times, our organization has a policy that if one of us has to meet with beings of pure evil then another member of staff has to be present. It’s political correctness gone mad.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Hands in the air, and don’t move.’ ‘Which is it?’ asked the man. ‘What?’ barked Banecroft. ‘I have to move to put my hands in the air.’ ‘Obviously, put your hands in the air, and then, don’t move. There was an Oxford comma between the two actions, implying a list of events happening in sequence.’ He glanced across at Stella, who was standing on the other side of Hannah. ‘See? I told you it was important.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“He was like an inverse fairy godmother – every time you didn’t want Banecroft, he magically appeared.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“I love this game,’ said Zeke. ‘Elvis hairdo? Pointy hat? Penis? Is it penis? I think it’s penis.’ ‘No,’ said Hannah, taking her hand down. ‘It’s not a penis.’ ‘Looked like a penis.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Dr Carter got to her feet abruptly. ‘Trust me, sweetie, you would not like me when I’m angry.’ ‘I don’t like you now.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“As always, your hilarity is matched only by your personal hygiene.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“A pig-headed, cloth-eared, close-minded, tit-ogling, stink-breathing, stat-chasing disgrace to the force.’ Sturgess smiled. ‘That is way too specific for you to have come up with just now.’ ‘Unofficially, myself and a couple of the other female detectives might’ve had a little competition. Mandy won as she set hers to the tune of one of the songs from Hamilton.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Could you not have found some trousers to protect us from seeing this much of you?’ asked Hannah. ‘Oh, don’t be such a prude. The human body is a beautiful thing.’ ‘Yeah,’ said Stella, ‘but yours looks like it got pulled out of the sea at low tide.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“The man did not appear to be likeable in any way, but Ox found himself feeling a bit sorry for him. That feeling came and went, in line with Stanley’s insistence not only on keeping the windows closed, but also on announcing and rating his own farts.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“We make our money on the food and drink – plus, we’ve got that meeting room that we rent out. We get the odd corporate thing looking for somewhere different, but it’s mostly board-gamers, who aren’t the biggest drinkers but they do go mental for nachos,”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Her accent was what some would consider southern but really was from nowhere. It was the kind of accent they handed out at certain private schools on admission.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“She glanced at the PA, who looked like someone trying to keep a smile on her face after being informed her entire family had been accidentally fired into the sun.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“From her flat near Piccadilly Station, it was, theoretically, a reasonable but doable route, but she hadn’t factored in the number of people she’d have to run around. Worse still, the number of people who would witness her discover just how monumentally unfit you could become while eating your emotions and washing them down with stuff that typically just generated more emotions.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“On mature reflection, I am happy to do so. Mr Fairburn is not a charlatan, and referring to him as such was grossly unfair to charlatans everywhere. He can be more accurately described as a money-grabbing, parasitic, pennies-off-a-dead-man’s-eyes lowlife with the moral rectitude of bacillary dysentery, who shamelessly milks money from the grieving with cheap parlour tricks and a level of dishonesty not to be found outside of the political realm. I hope this clarifies matters. Yours sincerely, Vincent Banecroft”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“And what were they about?’ Siobhan shrugged. ‘Anything. Nothing. I don’t know. I was in one last week about pictures of cats.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yeah. For a whole day we discussed how best to present pictures of cats.’ ‘Why?’ asked Sturgess, which earned him a quizzical look from Siobhan. ‘You don’t use social media much, do you?’ ‘No.’ ‘You can tell.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“The ‘hot-desking, locationally fluid remote-working’ economy had descended on the place like a plague of apathetic locusts.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Right,’ said Hannah, demonstrating a level of imperviousness to pain normally associated with religious zealots, drunks or someone who had got the chance to punch the kind of person who used the word ‘sheeple’ on social media.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“That was the thing with bloody England – it didn’t get enough hot weather to have any idea what to do with it.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“How the hell does somebody open a nightclub in Manchester and not get a Premiership footballer? Half the population of this town must be footballers – it’s all they’ve bloody got to do up here.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Yeah. For a whole day we discussed how best to present pictures of cats.’ ‘Why?’ asked Sturgess, which earned him a quizzical look from Siobhan. ‘You don’t use social media much, do you?”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man

“Are you interested in the paranormal, Stanley?’ ‘I wasn’t. Then I was working a story and some demon creature kidnapped me and tried to have sex with me.’ ‘I see,’ said Ox, who really didn’t see at all.”
― C.K. McDonnell, This Charming Man