Carl and Alex Present Quotes

“Detective Carl McCarl put on his sunglasses. Um, Carl, wasn’t Detective Carl McCarl already wearing sunglasses? Well, he’s wearing two pairs now. Two pairs of sunglasses are extra cool.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“And I’m dead serious too,” said Detective McAlex. “Dead serious about the fantastic deals at Cake World! This weekend, Cake World has a fantastic offer: all cakes are half price. That’s right, half price!”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“A few of them stopped to get Detective McCarl’s autograph, but then they keep kept running.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“loads”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” McAlex yelled. “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Ooo, Carl, Potatogeddon would have been a better title for this book. What’s wrong with World War Potato? Well, there aren’t really any wars in the book, and we don’t see the whole world. Listen, Alex, the title sounds cool, and that’s the most important thing. If you have a cool title, people will buy the book.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“once dropped a piece of cake on a puppy’s head, and it was so heavy that the puppy had to go to the hospital. Thankfully he was okay, but after that, he could never eat cake ever again. And that puppy’s name… was Detective Alex McAlex. Yes, I was that puppy.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Keep the change,” she said happily. “But you haven’t given me enough money,” said the bartender. “That’s okay,” said McAlex. “You can keep the change.” “But there is no change,” said the bartender. “So, how can I keep it?”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Talk about making a splash,” grinned McCarl, putting on his sunglasses.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Okay, sorry, I’ll try again… “I’m sorry to hear that,” said McAlex. “Lots of sad things have happened to me too. Once I saw a puppy crying, and I asked him why he was crying, and he said that he was allergic to cake, then I started crying too. Then all the other puppies in town started to cry, and that made all the people in town cry. There was so much crying that the town began to flood, and we all had to escape on boats, but because we kept crying, the water kept getting bigger and bigger until it was an entire ocean. And that ocean’s name… was Detective Alex McAlex. Yes, I was that ocean.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I wish I could be a great writer like you, Carl. Well, we can’t all be geniuses.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“An explosion exploded.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“McCarl pulled out his bazooka and fired some TNT at the giant potato, but the potato was so big that the explosion barely made a dent in it. “What are we going to do now?” asked McAlex.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“but McCarl jumped into the air and fired the rocket launcher down at the ground to launch himself over the gaps; in an epic move he called a rocket jump.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“I don’t know how he survived last time, but this time I’m going to put an end to him once and for all.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Oh no,” said McAlex. “We were winning the fight, but now we’re not winning the fight anymore! What shall we do?”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Okay, okay. But you’d better not make it stupid. I promise, Carl. It won’t be stupid at all. SMASH! Suddenly two horses with wings flew through the window, and both McAlex and McCarl jumped onto their backs.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Need a hand?” Detective McCarl asked with a sly grin. “Even though I’ve just lost my hand and I’m in a significant amount of pain, I have to admire how funny that joke was,”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Now we need to bring it to a printers and get it turned into a proper book. Then we can sell it and make our fortune. If I make enough emeralds, maybe I can build a real-life city made from potato. And maybe I can build a real-life city made from cake! Don’t be ridiculous, Alex.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Because he’s a secret bag guy.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“I’ve got your ID card right here,” said McCarl, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a bazooka.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Shouldn’t an old man like you be retired by now?” “Shouldn’t a young idiot like you still be in school?” growled Detective Carl McCarl.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Shove it up your cakehole, Chief,” growled Detective McCarl.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Oink,” whimpered Spidroth the pig.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Listen, Alex, the title sounds cool, and that’s the most important thing. If you have a cool title, people will buy the book.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Underneath the mask was a face that Carl knew all too well. It was Chief Porkins.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“I’ve heard there’s a fantastic sale this weekend at Cake World, but I’m not going to mention it because I’m a serious detective and all I think about is solving crimes, not about the fact that all cakes at Cake World are half price this weekend. And I especially don’t think about the fact that once all the cakes are gone, they’re gone. Also, the thought that chocolate cakes are not included never even crosses my mind.”
― Dave Villager, Carl and Alex Present: World War Potato: An Unofficial Minecraft Story