An Embarrassment of Critch's Quotes

“The official studied the photo of me handing the prime minister a roll of toilet paper. I assume he thought that we must have been very close friends to fondle bathroom tissue so intimately together, because we were immediately given permission to film.”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life

“My new material was working well and I had about a minute left when—right in the middle of my final set-up—the rocket alarm went off for a second time. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was being heckled by the Taliban.”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life

“They’re holding grief counselling in the room where the guy killed himself?”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life

“This ragtag group of lost boys and girls seemed to answer the unasked question, What if Peter Pan sold weed?”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life

“I think I know where that is” is not something you want to hear your bus driver say.”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life

“Newfoundland was the only place in the world that I had”
― Mark Critch, An Embarrassment of Critch's: Immature Stories From My Grown-Up Life