Hell Followed With Us Quotes

“God is an absent parent who demands loyalty despite never being around...”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Do you believe in God?

I do, please stop, there's so much blood”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Being transgender is who you are, and the pain is what the outside does to you. The pain is what happens when you and the world go at each other's throats.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I'm done begging for a scrap of respect-I am done with those who enact suffering, and I am done with the sons of bitches who stand back and let it happen.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“dysphoria had to wrap its hands around my neck and hold me down, baptism in drowning, before I faced the fact that living as a girl would kill me long before the Angels did.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I won't be okay, but I will be better”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I think it hits us all at the same time that maybe we'll live long enough to grow up.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“What's going on in my head? What do I believe? How much of it is me, and how much of it was put there?
I don't know.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I have no sense of myself anymore besides the fact that I am not what I once was. I'm too tired to see my body from the eyes of others, in the terrible way trans-ness demands--always existing both inside and outside myself, judging as an observer. Now, I am a pile of flesh on the floor, everything hurts, and I do not give a shit.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Hell has followed us onto Earth, and I am the monster that has brought it forth.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“It’s amazing how locking down one key demographic, white people in rich countries, means you can get your claws into the world so tightly, you can tear it all to pieces around you.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“The first thing Dad told me—when Mom said I’d see the Lord’s plan for my womanhood eventually, that she’d carve it into me if she had to—he told me I’m a man, and I fought for it, and nobody can take that from me.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I'd burn anything down if you so much asked”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“He'd spent so long memorizing the rules of interacting with people that he could twist them to his advantage. There are scripts people don't even realize they follow, and if you fit that script, or tweak it just enough to throw them off, they drop their guard.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Theo snorts. “How did I manage to land a straight guy?” “How dare you imply I’m heterosexual. I am disgusted and appalled.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I've taken what they've given me and turned it into a mockery of them. I will turn it into what destroys them.
If they want me to be a monster one step closer to God, that's fine.
In what world was their God ever a benevolent one?”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“My flesh is a single, perfect, God-given fig meant to feed all the hungry. I am their savior in Angel whites and skin peeling off the bone.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I can't keep running like this. I am so, so tired.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Are you trans?” Salvador blinks. “Uh.” “Wait, no.” I can’t just ask people if they’re trans. “I shouldn’t have…” “No, it’s fine,” Salvador says. “I mean, yeah, of course. I’m super trans. Like, an honestly heretical amount of trans. Why?”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I’m super trans. Like, an honestly heretical amount of trans. Why?”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I tried to feel it. I did, I swear. I reached for it, squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and begged for it. I pretended I was stretching my hands out into the darkness behind my eyelids, fingers splayed wide, trying to find even the barest touch of something out there in the abyss. To feel the warmth Mom always assured me was waiting once I accepted God into my heart.
There was nothing. Always nothing.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Bein transgender is who you are, and the pain is what the outside does to you. The pain is what happens when you and the world go at each other's throats.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“The Angels were made to be the servants of God, but I am the wrath, the flaming sword, the six-winged beast.
Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“We are alive, we are alive, holy shit, we are alive.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Grief is a sin. Loss is God’s design, and to mourn the dead is to insult His vision. To despair at His will is sacrilege. How dare you betray His plan by grieving what was always His to take? Unfaithful, disgusting heretic, you should be hung from the wall so the nonbelievers will know what’s coming for them. Romans 6:23—for the wages of sin is death.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“I had to pull a knife to keep from falling into his arms, begging him to forgive the transgression that made him raise a hand against me. He did it to me, he hurt me, and I wanted to apologize.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Grief is a sin. Loss is God’s design, and to mourn the dead is to insult
His vision. To despair at His will is sacrilege. How dare you betray His
plan by grieving what was always His to take? Unfaithful, disgusting heretic,
you should be hung from the wall so the nonbelievers will know what’s
coming for them.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Theo stared at the raw tattoos the way little boys look at soldiers coming home from war. I stared at them the way little girls look at that one uncle their sisters tell them to stay away from.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“Halfway through the walk, I pull off my mask. There's nobody to hide from anymore. It's like changing out of the dress I ran in, like watching snips of dark auburn hair gather around my feet. Not quite sure what to do with myself, desperately trying to understand this new body. Trying to figure it out: What does it mean? What does this flesh want? What does the world want from it?
What kind of monster do I want to be?
At least a face like this will make people think twice before making snap judgments about what I am. It's harder for someone to pin you down as a girl when they need a moment to pin you down as human.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us

“It was just me, the words, and the air in my lungs.”
― Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us