Girl, Nearly 16 Quotes

“Yes! Let's swim!" said Jess. "Though you must promise not to stare in dismay at my podge when you see me in my bikini!"
"And you must avert your gaze from my puny sticklike legs," said Fred. "It'll only be a matter of time before a bodybuilder comes up and kicks sand in my face.”
― Sue Limb, Girl, Nearly 16: Absolute Torture

“Though this evening seemed somehow enchanted, Jess was terrified that, once they were alone together, her mum would rip off her smile with a horrible tearing Velcro sound. In fact, she might rip off her whole friendly face and underneath there might be a fire-breathing dragon.
This time you've really blown it! She might roar, sparks flying out of her eyes and burning small craters in the pavement. You're a treacherous, cunning, lying, horrible harlot! Mum's hair would turn into hissing snakes. Steam would come screaming out her ears and cause a sulfurous fog that would hang over Cornwall for days, ships would founder on the rocks. Trees would go black and die. Teddy bears' eyes would fall out.”
― Sue Limb, Girl, Nearly 16: Absolute Torture

“Well, to be honest Dad, I think he's a little bit like you. Sort of useless, and amusing." (Jess regarding Fred)”
― Sue Limb, Girl, Nearly 16: Absolute Torture

“I swear it's true. If I lie to you, may I be changed into a sofa belonging to a fat family addicted to daytime TV and baked beans." (Fred to Jess)”
― Sue Limb, Girl, Nearly 16: Absolute Torture