Behind Blue Curtains Quotes

“I shuffle to the bathroom, determined to remain numb and get through the mundane action of taking a shower, which takes more effort than it should. I force myself out of my clothes and into the tub. The water shoots violently from the shower head, the loud spray jarring me out of my fog and slashing at my skin like tiny daggers. I hold onto my body, wrapping my arms around my breasts and hips, afraid to let go, as if someone is watching. And then I can’t let go, because if I do, I’ll crumble like a neglected, ancient building, brick by brick, bone by bone, collapsing into a soft pile and slowly washing away down the drain until there’s nothing left but clear running water and an empty tub.”
― Lizzy Hershberger, Behind Blue Curtains: A True Crime Memoir of an Amish Woman's Survival, Escape, and Pursuit of Justice

“Before we were married, we attended pre-marital counseling at a Mennonite church in Ohio. Eventually, I trusted our pastor and his wife enough to confide in them about Uncle Abe and Aden. I went to their office alone where I poured out my story for the first time, relieved to share my secret. The pastor’s wife looked at her husband with such sad eyes, and for a moment, I thought she understood me. “Oh, those poor men,” she said. “They must feel horrible about what they did.” The pastor nodded. “You must forgive them.” I thanked them and left, but inside I was seething. Even so, at the time, I thought they were right and took their advice. Now, all these years later, I wonder: How many women had shared similar abuse with their pastors? How many women heard those words?”
― Lizzy Hershberger, Behind Blue Curtains: A True Crime Memoir of an Amish Woman's Survival, Escape, and Pursuit of Justice