Habits of the Household Quotes

“You can’t think yourself out of a pattern you didn’t think yourself into. You practiced yourself into it, so you have to practice your way out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Most days, we wake up to our own monsters, desperately in need of a heavenly parent to remind us the truth about reality—that we are loved by a good God, and because of him, everything is going to be okay.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“By not choosing our habits carefully, we are falling back on rhythms that are forming us in all of the usual patterns of unceasing screentime, unending busyness, unrivaled consumerism, unrelenting loneliness, unmitigated addictions, and unparalleled distraction.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we become our habits, and our kids become us. Which means who our children are becoming is tightly connected to who we are becoming—personally and communally.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“A BEDTIME BLESSING OF GOSPEL LOVE

Said perhaps with a hand on your child’s face or head.

Parent: Do you see my eyes?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Can you see that I see your eyes?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what bad things you do?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what good things you do?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Who else loves you like that?
Child: God does.
Parent: Even more than me?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Rest in that love.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Our hearts need to be led to good places if we are going to lead the hearts of our children to good places. This is the kind of work that only prayer can do because words- especially the words of prayer and Scripture- lead the heart. So prayer and self-talk need to be habits that happen in that moment that we approach the situation.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In other words: You can’t think yourself out of a pattern you didn’t think yourself into. You practiced yourself into it, so you have to practice your way out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“God loves messy things. Really. He loves broken people. He loves earnest half efforts that don’t look right to everyone else. God is crazy about loud children (and self-conscious adults) who don’t exactly know how to do the worship thing right but come and give it a shot anyway, because they know that some little bit of God is better than the nothing they have. This is what Christians call grace. And grace is the church at its best, the AA of spirituality: Sinners Anonymous, where the only thing you have to show off is your scars. The only ticket that gets you in is the list of reasons you should be kicked out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In the passing of dishes we practice delayed gratification. In complimenting the meal, we practice the power of spoken encouragement. In withholding criticisms, we practice the virtue of silence, we are reminded that lots of things we think aren’t worth saying. In roses and thorns and questions and pepper games, we practice telling stories, recalling memories, celebrating and sympathizing with each other.9 We practice forgiving when someone spills something (again!). And in waiting until we’re excused, we practice sticking around even when we don’t want to—the root of learning loyalty.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Because the normal is what shapes us the most, though we notice it the least.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“when we see our children as problems to manage instead of image-bearers to be discipled, we end up making moments of discipline about our convenience instead of their discipleship.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“If our hearts always followed our heads, we would not need to practice the things we learn. We'd just learn about it and the rest would follow. But that's not how humans work, which is why the biblical understanding of sanctification is not just about education and learning but about formation and practice as well.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“when it comes to spiritual formation, our households are not simply products of what we teach and say. They are much more products of what we practice and do. And usually there is a significant gap between the two.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we parents who want to pattern our households in gospel formation should not just be looking for that one-off spiritual conversation that we hope our kids remember, we should be patterning our houses with the kinds of keystone family rhythms that turn kids into disciples of Jesus.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“What do you love doing? What’s hard about life right now? Who is your best friend? What do you think you’re good at? What do you want to get better at? When do you feel nervous? What’s your favorite book? What do you find yourself praying about often? What do you think about when you lie in bed? What do you wish you were allowed to do that you’re not?”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“the greatest spiritual work happens in the normal moments of domestic life.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“To understand why a rhythm as simple as coming to the table could be so significant across so many areas, we have to understand the idea of a keystone habit. A keystone habit is one that supports a lot of other good habits. Exercise is a classic example. Studies consistently find that participants who were asked to exercise, even as little as once a week, without prompting started to eat better, sleep more, smoke less, and so on.7 Apparently, it is simply a human phenomenon that when we commit to certain smaller rhythms, a lot of other rhythms fall into place. This is fundamental wisdom for parents. It means that we parents who want to pattern our households in gospel formation should not just be looking for that one-off spiritual conversation that we hope our kids remember, we should be patterning our houses with the kinds of keystone family rhythms that turn kids into disciples of Jesus. Coming to the table to talk is one such keystone habit.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“The most Christian way to think about our households is that they are little “schools of love,” places where we have one vocation, one calling: to form all who live here into lovers of God and neighbor.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Wanting things to be perfect often means that nothing happens at all.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Habits of the household are not just actions that form our families’ routines”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In the story of God”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we parents who want to pattern our households in gospel formation should not just be looking for that one-off spiritual conversation that we hope our kids remember”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Parent: Do you see my eyes? Child: Yes. Parent: Can you see that I see your eyes? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what bad things you do? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what good things you do? Child: Yes. Parent: Who else loves you like that? Child: God does. Parent: Even more than me? Child: Yes. Parent: Rest in that love.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Entertaining guests is when you clean everything, make up nice plates of food and batches of drinks, and maybe get a sitter for the kids. At best, entertaining is where we honor our guests by offering an experience of comfort and beauty. At worst, entertaining is where we honor ourselves by showing off what we can pull off. In any case, hospitality is different. Hospitality is simply opening the door. Hospitality is welcoming someone into the unvarnished mess. It is inviting someone into the chaos because that’s where real family happens.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Don Everts and the Barna Group found in their study of Christian households that the families who were “spiritually vibrant” shared one amazing thing in common—they had loud tables.6”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“If we don’t have radical communal habits to form us, we will end up conforming to the communal patterns of the world around us.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“A BEDTIME BLESSING OF GOSPEL LOVE Said perhaps with a hand on your child’s face or head. Parent: Do you see my eyes? Child: Yes. Parent: Can you see that I see your eyes? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what bad things you do? Child: Yes. Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what good things you do? Child: Yes. Parent: Who else loves you like that? Child: God does. Parent: Even more than me? Child: Yes. Parent: Rest in that love.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Because the fight is worth it,” she said. “The fight is not about ‘Are screens okay?’ or ‘How much screentime is too much?’ The fight is about whether you are forming your children or you are defaulting to letting screens form them. This is a fight for formation, and that is never easy, but it will always be worth a parent’s time and energy—even if it’s the last bit of time and energy you have.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“I used to think I needed to get the day-to-day stuff done and out of the way to get to the real spiritual work of parenting - some special conversation where the magic would really happen. But now I see that the magic of God's grace abounds in the places I need it most: in the normal routines.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Our habits won’t change God’s love for us, but God’s love for us can and should change our habits.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms