Habits of the Household Quotes

“You can’t think yourself out of a pattern you didn’t think yourself into. You practiced yourself into it, so you have to practice your way out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Most days, we wake up to our own monsters, desperately in need of a heavenly parent to remind us the truth about reality—that we are loved by a good God, and because of him, everything is going to be okay.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“By not choosing our habits carefully, we are falling back on rhythms that are forming us in all of the usual patterns of unceasing screentime, unending busyness, unrivaled consumerism, unrelenting loneliness, unmitigated addictions, and unparalleled distraction.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we become our habits, and our kids become us. Which means who our children are becoming is tightly connected to who we are becoming—personally and communally.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“A BEDTIME BLESSING OF GOSPEL LOVE

Said perhaps with a hand on your child’s face or head.

Parent: Do you see my eyes?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Can you see that I see your eyes?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what bad things you do?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that I love you no matter what good things you do?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Who else loves you like that?
Child: God does.
Parent: Even more than me?
Child: Yes.
Parent: Rest in that love.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Our hearts need to be led to good places if we are going to lead the hearts of our children to good places. This is the kind of work that only prayer can do because words- especially the words of prayer and Scripture- lead the heart. So prayer and self-talk need to be habits that happen in that moment that we approach the situation.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In other words: You can’t think yourself out of a pattern you didn’t think yourself into. You practiced yourself into it, so you have to practice your way out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“God loves messy things. Really. He loves broken people. He loves earnest half efforts that don’t look right to everyone else. God is crazy about loud children (and self-conscious adults) who don’t exactly know how to do the worship thing right but come and give it a shot anyway, because they know that some little bit of God is better than the nothing they have. This is what Christians call grace. And grace is the church at its best, the AA of spirituality: Sinners Anonymous, where the only thing you have to show off is your scars. The only ticket that gets you in is the list of reasons you should be kicked out.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In the passing of dishes we practice delayed gratification. In complimenting the meal, we practice the power of spoken encouragement. In withholding criticisms, we practice the virtue of silence, we are reminded that lots of things we think aren’t worth saying. In roses and thorns and questions and pepper games, we practice telling stories, recalling memories, celebrating and sympathizing with each other.9 We practice forgiving when someone spills something (again!). And in waiting until we’re excused, we practice sticking around even when we don’t want to—the root of learning loyalty.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Because the normal is what shapes us the most, though we notice it the least.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“when we see our children as problems to manage instead of image-bearers to be discipled, we end up making moments of discipline about our convenience instead of their discipleship.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“If our hearts always followed our heads, we would not need to practice the things we learn. We'd just learn about it and the rest would follow. But that's not how humans work, which is why the biblical understanding of sanctification is not just about education and learning but about formation and practice as well.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“when it comes to spiritual formation, our households are not simply products of what we teach and say. They are much more products of what we practice and do. And usually there is a significant gap between the two.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we parents who want to pattern our households in gospel formation should not just be looking for that one-off spiritual conversation that we hope our kids remember, we should be patterning our houses with the kinds of keystone family rhythms that turn kids into disciples of Jesus.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“What do you love doing? What’s hard about life right now? Who is your best friend? What do you think you’re good at? What do you want to get better at? When do you feel nervous? What’s your favorite book? What do you find yourself praying about often? What do you think about when you lie in bed? What do you wish you were allowed to do that you’re not?”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“the greatest spiritual work happens in the normal moments of domestic life.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“To understand why a rhythm as simple as coming to the table could be so significant across so many areas, we have to understand the idea of a keystone habit. A keystone habit is one that supports a lot of other good habits. Exercise is a classic example. Studies consistently find that participants who were asked to exercise, even as little as once a week, without prompting started to eat better, sleep more, smoke less, and so on.7 Apparently, it is simply a human phenomenon that when we commit to certain smaller rhythms, a lot of other rhythms fall into place. This is fundamental wisdom for parents. It means that we parents who want to pattern our households in gospel formation should not just be looking for that one-off spiritual conversation that we hope our kids remember, we should be patterning our houses with the kinds of keystone family rhythms that turn kids into disciples of Jesus. Coming to the table to talk is one such keystone habit.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“The most Christian way to think about our households is that they are little “schools of love,” places where we have one vocation, one calling: to form all who live here into lovers of God and neighbor.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“we go to Scripture because we want to become more like him, and in turn, our children, who are by default becoming more like us, become more like him too.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“The good news of Christianity is that Jesus’ death on the cross has paid for all of our failures (including our bad parenting habits), and his resurrection from the grave is the promise of a new life (including new parenting habits). It is that work of God that saves us, by grace and through faith—not our works (of habits or otherwise). 4 That God died for us while we were still sinners is a demonstration of his great love, 5 and that love is why we care about habits.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“It’s hard to move them close to God and others when you don’t know who they really are. Our efforts to understand them through questions or conversation show that we are not just out to control their behavior but out to find them”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“the invisibility cloak of the ordinary. We think of our day-to-day routines as neutral simply because we see them so often.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“no matter what the stage of one of my children”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“You cannot change in the future. You can change only in the present because the present is the only moment you have access to. It is the only moment we can take action in.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Teaching our kids to pray is a work done mostly on the fly. Less in the pews and at Sunday school tables and more in the back seats of cars and the ends of grocery lines. Over skinned knees and missed catches.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“This is”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“There is no escaping habits and formation in the family. We become our habits”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Wanting things to be perfect often means that nothing happens at all.”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“Habits of the household are not just actions that form our families’ routines”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

“In the story of God”
― Justin Whitmel Earley, Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms