Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village Quotes

“Villagers love to remember the glorious old days, when they used to skewer one another with sticks, fire muskets into one another’s faces, and cut off their neighbors’ heads in the name of king or country or whatever they were into back then.”
― Maureen Johnson, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village

“In English Murder Villages, vats exist for the express purpose of drowning people—in beer, in pickling brine, in whiskey, in jam. This is doubly true if the vat was built by fourteenth-century monks.”
― Maureen Johnson, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village

“It is possible that you will find yourself in a placid and tedious little corner of England; it is just as possible that you will end up in an English Murder Village. You will not know you are in a Murder Village, as they look like all other villages. When you arrive in Shrimpling or Pickles-in-the-Woods or Wombat-on-Sea or wherever it is, there will be no immediate signs of danger. This is exactly the problem. You are already in the trap.”
― Maureen Johnson, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village