My Body Keeps Your Secrets Quotes

“Every story in this book is about how we learned the value of the false self, how we unlearned it, and the price we paid trying to attain it.
As the false self is formed, Bradshaw says, the authentic self goes into hiding. The false self is a masterpiece.
Because the false self is an act of overcompensation for a part of us we believe to be damaged”
― Lucia Osborne-Crowley, My Body Keeps Your Secrets

“So many women and non-binary people told me a similar story: they had people in their lives that they looked up to, who they thought were beautiful and assured and real, but they couldn't see that they themselves had qualities worthy of that admiration too; they could only see their own qualities in a positive light when they saw them reflected in someone else.”
― Lucia Osborne-Crowley, My Body Keeps Your Secrets

“Asking for help is a formidable display of strength.”
― Lucia Osborne-Crowley, My Body Keeps Your Secrets

“I want to talk about the moments after the shame transmission, the whole life that is lived afterwards, and how all the other shame transmissions cumulate until the false self is a necessary weapon. I want to connect the emotionally abusive boyfriend that we make excuses for to the boy who came before him who was too pushy at the party and to the Tuesday morning wolf-whistler who came after. I want us to understand that carrying other people's shame affects a whole life. I want us to keep watching the woman after the bad thing happens, after the secret has been locked away. I want us to see how it keeps affecting her even though she wishes it wouldn't. I want to connect the rape to the illness to the aggressive Hinge date to the screaming argument with a man you thought you were safe with.”
― Lucia Osborne-Crowley, My Body Keeps Your Secrets

“I want to move on from the men we call monsters and start talking about the greyer space. The smaller acts of shame transmission. The ones we cannot pinpoint because they do not have a beginning or an end: a jury's verdict, a healed bruise. They are just moments. They come and they go, and we think they don't hurt us, but they do.
I want to move on from the men we call monsters because I am tired of talking about them. I want to talk about us.
I want to talk about the moments after the shame transmission, the whole life that is lived afterwards, and how all the other shame transmissions cumulate until the false self is a necessary weapon. I want to connect the emotionally abusive boyfriend that we make excuses for to the boy who came before him who was too pushy at the party and to the Tuesday morning wolf-whistler who came after. I want us to understand that carrying other people's shame affects a whole life. I want us to keep watching the woman after the bad thing happens, after the secret has been locked away. I want us to see how it keeps affecting her even though she wishes it wouldn't. I want to connect the rape to the illness to the aggressive Hinge date to the screaming argument with a man you thought you were safe with.”
― Lucia Osborne-Crowley, My Body Keeps Your Secrets