Through the Ashes Quotes

“My problems didn’t fit inside the entire world, only inside me.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Reputations didn’t mean shit. They were what people said about you. What they surmised from watching you. They weren’t a representation of who a person really was, only what they allowed the outside world to see.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Bex Lim, the girl I should hate by most measures, drew me in without knowing it, and I had no intention of giving her up. Smoke, ashes, and hellfire be damned.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“If I get attached to you and this is all just a revenge ploy, I’ll haunt you until you take your last breath. And even then, I would follow you around hell throwing fireballs at you.” “First, if I’m going to hell, you have to come with me. I’d miss you too much down there by myself. Plus, we can throw fireballs at each other. It’ll be adorable. Like a snowball fight but with spice.” I touched my lips to hers, rubbing back and forth. “Second, aren’t you already attached to me?” Her nose scrunched again. “Why should I be the one to admit my feelings?” “I think I’ve done a lot of that. But here you go, Bex. I am attached to you. I have been for longer than I even realized. If I hate you, it’ll be because you try to leave me.” She did that humming thing again. “You’re extremely intense. It’s kind of scary.” “You’re the only person in my life I can be completely real with. Sometimes that realness might be scary. I’m hoping you can handle it because I want it to be you.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“It was crazy how my mother still had the power to make me stand up straight just by the tone of her voice. She also had the ability to make me feel like a failure, despite my near-perfect grades. Other seniors were slacking off once they were accepted into college, but I kept up with my assignments because it was ingrained in me to do so. Slacking off wasn’t part of my chemical makeup.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Because I didn’t know a lot, but I knew this girl was mine, inside and out. I was getting tired of holding back. She was the one I wanted, as complicated and messy as that was. “Prove it.” She tipped her chin, hitting mine, challenging me. “Have dinner with me. Let me feed you.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“She nodded, like that wasn’t surprising. “You hated me. You thought I knowingly let Wyatt die. If you’d strangled me to death in that bed, I wouldn’t have even haunted you for very long.” I had to laugh at that, even though I barely felt any humor. “That’s the thing, Bex. As much as I hated you, it was never only that. I’ve wanted to hold you as strongly as I’ve wanted to strangle you.” She brought her hand to my jaw. “We are really messed up, Asher. You know that, right?” Leaning into her hand, my eyelids lowered. “No doubt. But I like the way you’re broken, Bex. I want to run my tongue over your sharp edges and bleed my pain all over you.” Something like a moan fell from her lips. “This can’t be good. We need to stay away from each other.” “No.” My eyes flashed open. “No, that’s not an option. You try, and I’ll haul you over my shoulder just like I did today. I’m not above kidnapping, and tying you up would be my fucking pleasure. So don’t tell me no, not on this.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface. I got your attention, but I want to crawl inside your skin and discover the exact order and shape of the cells that make you.” A breath puffed from my lips. No one had ever said anything like that to me. Certainly no one had felt that way toward me. And here was beautiful, cruel Asher Beck, the first in so many ways. “That’s crazy, Asher. I just...why? You hate me.” “No.” He yanked his hand from my pocket to grip my hair hard, tugging my head back. “No. I hate him. I tried to convince myself I hated you too, but that was my bullshit reasoning for going after you.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“My chest caved in at the flood of memories that hit me all at once. The last time I met Parker at the beach, he let me take pictures of him. He’d rolled in the sand and smiled at the sun, happier and more alive than I’d seen him in forever. That was two years ago, and even then, I knew he was high. He wasn’t elated to spend the day with me on the beach. His brain chemistry had been altered enough to make him feel like he was enjoying himself, but it wasn’t real.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“I didn’t hate my mom, but I didn’t like her very much lately. It was difficult to spend the little time together she offered me when all I wanted to do was scream in frustration, anger, betrayal. She might have been heartbroken over one of her kids, but the other one sat right across from her with my very own broken heart.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“My dad wasn’t unkind, he was just absent. I knew him from a distance, and he probably felt the same way about me. I was sure he loved me, but it wasn’t the cozy, wrap-yourself-up-in-it kind of love. He’d most likely donate a kidney to me if I needed it, but he wouldn’t rush out of work to attend an art show I was exhibiting in—that I knew for a fact.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“I’d find another way to get to her, I’d just have to be more subtle about it. If any of my friends suspected I’d made Bex a target, they’d think it was open season on her, and it wasn’t. She was mine and mine alone, and I wouldn’t stand for anyone else trying to break her. That would be my honor.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Straightening, I opened my mouth to ask what level of hell she’d just been released from, but Bex’s hand connected to my cheek with a power her slight frame shouldn’t have been capable of packing, slapping the words out of me. My head shot to the side, but I managed to intercept her hand before she connected with my face again. “What the fuck?” I roared. “Have you lost it?” She fought my grasp, trying to come for me even though she had no hope of escaping until I allowed it. “You’re a monster, Asher. You piece of shit. How could you?” My jaw hardened. She’d found out. I didn’t know how, but she must’ve seen my name somewhere, figured out the connection. Her reaction confused me, but nothing about this girl made sense. “You know?” I rasped. She snarled, practically growling. “Everyone knows. Wasn’t that what you wanted? For the entire school to see what a filthy slut I am? Good job. Mission accomplished. I hope you’re proud.” That wasn’t even close to what I’d thought she was going to say. Jesus, I was lost.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Watching Bex Lim’s reactions to the presents I left in her locker was pretty much the only thing that got me up in the morning. When she gave away the gift card on Monday, I almost laughed at her audacity. On Tuesday, she held the banana I’d taped to the outside of her locker to her ear like a phone. Meeting my gaze across the hall, she mouthed, “Fuck you”, then tossed it to James Anthony, Savage River’s star linebacker, as he passed by. When he’d stopped mid-stride to question why he was now in possession of a banana, Bex pointed him my way. James peeled his banana and ravaged it in two bites, winking at me as he continued down the hall.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“And the naked pics?” “A mistake,” I muttered. “You knew about the pictures?” “No. Absolutely not.” A deep rumbling sound rattled Gabe’s chest. “Shit, I always thought Beck was uptight, but low key, kinda cool. Taking your naked pics is just…” He shook his head hard. “Uncool?” I supplied. “Yeah. I’m gonna talk to him. He’ll delete them.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“When I pulled my locker open, a small piece of paper fell to the ground. I bent down and picked it up, quickly realizing it was an envelope with a card inside. Someone must have slipped it through the vent in the door since I didn’t recognize it and my name was scrawled on the outside. Wary but curious, I opened it to find a plain, white note card. Inside was a gift card to my favorite coffee shop on Main Street, the one Grace and I liked to go to. I was excited for exactly half a second before I read the message written in serial killer print on the card. Bex, For the sake of Savage River’s overrun emergency room, use this to buy yourself something to eat. If you keep starving yourself, you’ll wind up with a cracked skull. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but scars aren’t a great look on girls. You know what is? A little meat on their bones. EAT! Asher”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“The straw that broke my back and had me shutting down my phone for good was a text from a number I didn’t know reminding me to eat. That one could have only come from Asher Beck. Then he confirmed it by sending a picture of his smiling face with my sleeping body in the background. I’d tossed my phone across my bed like it was haunted.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“You took naked pictures of me, Asher! Why? I thought that night couldn’t be ruined any more, and yet…” She covered her mouth as she choked back a sob, but still, she didn’t cry. “You didn’t have to do that to Elijah. I get that you hate me for some reason, but he’s done nothing to you.” The second she said his name, defending him, I saw red. Motherfucking crimson. My hold on her hands tightened until she whimpered. “That kid back there who just called you a cunt? That’s who you’re worried about?” I shook my head, spitting my disgust on the pavement beside the car. “Your head is twisted. More than I even thought. You don’t mean shit to that kid. The second he found out you’d chosen someone else, you became nothing to him. And yet, here you sit, worried for him, when you should be on your knees for me.” Our gazes clashed, igniting a wildfire between us. Waves of heat and hate rose in the air, the silence deafening. My heart thrashed wildly in my chest as my fury transformed into disgust.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“True. I was there, given it was at my house. I kept Bex company because it was her birthday and she looked so lonely.” The kid’s head fell back, hands yanking at his hair. “What the fuck, Bex? It was your birthday? You didn’t even tell me.” She covered her face with her hand. “I know. I should have, but with everything...god, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t tell Asher either. He found out inadvertently.” “All true.” I slipped my phone from my pocket, running my thumb along the screen, bringing it to life. Approaching Elijah, I turned the screen toward him. “I took some special birthday pics of your girl. You might like them.” Bex yelped my name, rushing to see my screen too. I moved, blocking her view, but Elijah got an eyeful. He was riveted to the image of his girlfriend sleeping naked in my bed. I’d never intended on showing this to anyone, not really. But my dad always told me to never ignore an opportunity when it came knocking.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“My mother came home at some point, but she didn’t peek into the den. Her heels clacked in the entryway, and after she took them off, I marked the sounds of her movements in the kitchen, followed by the stairs to her bedroom. Since I’d heard the clink of a wine glass against a bottle as she passed the doorway to the den, I had no doubt she would be upstairs for the rest of the night. My gut clenched when she didn’t even check on me, but I should have been used to it. We hadn’t had much of a conversation since last weekend, and I didn’t foresee that changing.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Asher Beck kissed me like it was the end of the world and his last wish was to taste my lips. He growled into our connection, licking the seam of my lips until they parted and sweeping inside. He tugged me closer, flush against him. He was so broad and warm, being this close felt like burying myself into a heated blanket, cozy but with the potential to light me on fire if something went wrong.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes

“Nah.” He shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface. I got your attention, but I want to crawl inside your skin and discover the exact order and shape of the cells that make you.”
― Julia Wolf, Through the Ashes