Guncrank Diaries Quotes

“A good but plain-Jane drill you prob’ly know pits the shooter against two to four standard IDPA/ USPSA cardboard torso targets. Using a shot-timer like the PACT Club Timer III, from the beep, put two rounds in each, slow enough to assure all hits are in top-scoring zones. Check your elapsed times. Push faster until you start dropping rounds outside the sweet spots, then back off, slow down and work your way up again. Maybe you integrate a reload. It’s sound, but it lacks panache. Kick it up. Between and around those full-size cardboards, add in half-size*, and some 10" and 5" mini-torsos**. Vary your drills; don’t just shoot left-to-right and back again. Shoot the little guys first, then the larger ones or vice versa or “Connor-versa,” which appears to onlookers to be a spazz-pattern. It is actually coldly calculated — by a spazz. Me. The variety is healthy. You can snap-shoot the full and half-size targets, but the minis force you to concentrate, bear down and get squinty. Sure, program reloads in too, and switching from right to left hand. Now add more fun with malfunction drills: Say you have 10 identical 15-round magazines and six inert dry-fire rounds. In six mags, stagger placement of duds, like second round in one, sixth round in another, blah-blah. Then mix the mags up so you don’t know where the surprises are. And on the timer, give yourself no slack for correcting your malf’s. Now for the spicy stir-fry sauce: Between sweeps of the targets, while gripping your pistol in one hand, bring your other hand back, touch your thumb to your nose, waggle your fingers vigorously, and shout as loudly as possible “O ye sinners, now shall ye repent! Let the Great Slaying begin!” or, “For freedom, Fritos and chicken-fried steak!” or, “Back awaaay from the bulgogi and nobody gets hurt!” Note: Never mess with my bulgogi. Never. Or, try shouting “I love you and blood sausage too!” — but shout it in German; makes it confusing and terrifying. Ich liebe dich und blutwurst auch! Exercising exemplary muzzle control and strictly observing all range safety protocols, slump your shoulders, hang your head and slowly turn around, looking dazed, lost, spaced-out ... Then, by degrees, “recover consciousness” and smile. It’s unlikely anyone will be there by this point, so that smile can be very genuine. If any looky-lou’s are still present, they’ll prob’ly be frozen like deer caught in headlights. Perfecto! If you see me at the range and I’m munchin’ a sammich and sippin’ coffee, stop and say howdy. But if I’m shooting drills, well ... Trouble not, etcetera. Connor OUT”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“At 25 yards, starting with a chambered round and seven in the mag, he methodically fired two mags right-handed, then two mags left-handed, doing both lefty and right-handed reloads. Next up were two mags rapid-fired 2-handed. He finished with one mag fired slowly and precisely, going for the tightest possible grouping. Fifty rounds, well invested in very little time.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Please, never step out your door, no matter where you live — not to the backyard, the barn, the mailbox or your Maserati — without a gun, a light, a knife and an attitude.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“As a wise gunfighter once said, “the best spare part is a spare piece.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“orangie-zsherbett kielbassy-fitz-kibble.” His English wasn’t too hot, but that was okay; ours was barely warm.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“For many, the big awakening came about 2009. “Our teachers and professors had hammered us with America is evil, defy authority, capitalism kills and crap like that,” Lead Dog said. “Then all of a sudden it was don’t question authority; obey the government; embrace the collective. Don’t think, just obey. That’s when we started teaching ourselves.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Uncle John calls ’em Millennial Orphans, springing from fractured homes and forming their own “families.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“My S.O.P. is to never open a door or turn a corner unprepared to deal with Zombies, Nazis, PCP freaks, giant rabid wolverines, Martians, mad mullahs and laser-guided psychotic polar bears. You don’t have to go full-boogie Connor though.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Never step out — not even halfway out — without a gun, a light, a knife and an attitude. Always be prepared — clothing, footwear and in your head — to run, fight and climb fences.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“There is nothing more iconically American than resisting overreaching government. With great reservations we consent to be governed, not ruled, by our Constitution, not by imperial edict.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“It makes no difference whether you’re disarmed and your rights trampled by Marxists or Martians, rightists or Rastafarians. Our Constitution’s framers were not only smart but also wise. They recognized any person or element seeking to enslave the free citizens of the new Republic must first disarm them of effective weaponry. The Second Amendment was written to safeguard against tyranny — not against any particular polity or person. Someone who favors a “progressive socialist” government should be just as vehemently opposed to infringement of their right to bear arms as one who might favor government by military junta.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“DOJ is in a curious position. They demand states not enforce federal immigration laws, refuse to address cities and states contravening federal drug laws, but insist any federal gun laws be stringently enforced. Lady Justice, with her scales, is supposed to be blindfolded, not bipolar.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“I think an acquaintance, a former Soviet Army soldier — now a US citizen — explained it best: “The nation is like a huge sponge which routinely refreshes itself with blood, sweat and treasure. All governments squeeze out what they dare. The citizens’ rifles are like needles hidden in that sponge. You can only be squeezed so much; never squeezed dry. This is why first they want the rifles. Then, all other guns. Then, everything.” He added something more foreboding.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Live fire is analogous to mid-term exams; dry-fire is the study you put in to be truly prepared for those exams.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Are you prepared?” ain’t a question, it’s a koan; an interrogative not intended to elicit an immediate answer, but to stimulate thought on the complex, multi-faceted factors involved. If somebody just blurts “Yes,” they’re not — count on it.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“Many feel there is greater potential today than at any other time in our history for the shiny coin to jiggle outta the slot. Such scenarios are kinda like God or jihad — whether you believe in ’em or not makes no difference; they believe in you, and they’ll come for you sooner or later.”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries

“You don’t shoot a man until you think he’s dead — You gotta shoot him until HE thinks he’s dead. (Or the PC version: “Until the threat is neutralized.”)”
― John Connor, Guncrank Diaries