Horrorshow Quotes

“For as long as he could remember, the Krumbleton police force were known derisively as the Circular Firing Squad, a nickname well-deserved due to their reputation for general incompetence. There were countless examples of them shooting themselves in the foot over the years, whether that be staff misplacing evidence, the mishandling of simple cases, the wrong suspect being freed by mistake, and the one officer who lost two toes during a training exercise when his weapon discharged and he literally shot himself in the foot.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“He tolerated this for as long as he could, and he reminded himself of their respective positions in the social hierarchy – he was a multimillionaire author, enjoying a level of success countless others would sacrifice their firstborn for, while she either lived in near-poverty or with her parents, relying on the fractions of a cent she received per click for income. He had won first division in life’s lottery, while she had to make do with participation ribbons.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“He didn’t know what was happening here. Nothing about this interaction felt normal. A Kafkaesque situation. Although, having never read any Kafka, he wasn’t one hundred percent certain that was the correct use of the term.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“She was twenty-three and single, and she needed to get back in the game. The only way to do that was to throw caution to the wind and recalibrate her standards. Stop waiting for Mr. Right to show up on the back of a white horse. She would try her luck instead with Mr. Alt-Right in the back of a white limo.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“The voice came from a young male, Caucasian, aged 18-30, suburban middle class. Backwards baseball cap, black Breaking Bad Heisenberg t-shirt, neckbeard, BMI of 29. Demographically indistinguishable from the hundreds of thousands just like him in Langdon Pryce’s core readership. There was a seventy-one percent chance that Bring Me The Horizon was his favorite band.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“Taliyah was heavily into fitness and healthy living. She spent much of her time listening to wellness podcasts and following yoga gurus on social media, although that didn’t stop her from mainlining caffeine and smoking like a film noir femme fatale to help maintain her rail-thin physique.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“Memeing involved simpletons repeating the same joke over and over to compensate for their inability to come up with anything of their own. The type of person who, a generation earlier, would have shouted 'Freebird!' at a concert.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“He was almost relieved by the way his looks were fading. The kid in the photo looked like Jailhouse Rock-era Elvis. The creature he saw in the mirror every morning was a few pizzas away from the white jumpsuit and Vegas residency.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“How potent that Yoda acid was, he wondered just.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow

“The contempt that critics held for Langdon Pryce was nothing compared with the scorn he reserved for them. In his view, critics were responsible for untold misery for which they should be held to
account. Most of them either didn’t know or didn’t care how destructive their words could be. If snobby art critics had been kinder to a young Adolf Hitler, the entire twentieth century could have been a lot more pleasant for everyone.”
― Nathan Allen, Horrorshow