Hijinks With a Hellhound Quotes

“I steer in that direction as Sam says, “No more using the words sex, or come, or porn, or any variation on that theme while you’re in a public place. Use a substitute word instead.” “Like what?” I begin scanning my items. Since nobody’s close enough to see, I go a little faster than a human could. “I don’t know… what about… lamp.” Clearly he’s getting inspiration from his living room décor. “Do you really think me saying ‘I want to lamp him all night long’ is better, Sam?” I ask dryly. “Or ‘I want to lamp in his hair’?”
― Louisa Masters, Hijinks With a Hellhound

“Alistair laughs, then I hear the door close and those funny-sounding footsteps coming back upstairs. Is he injured? Maybe he hurt himself trying to put on my pants, which are three or four sizes too small for him. He appears in the doorway a moment later, and I literally choke on my laugh. He didn’t abandon the pants. Nor is he wearing them as a cape or half-assed toga. He’s actually wearing them. Of course, he could only get them about halfway up his tree-trunk legs, so they’re basically acting like shackles, and his goods are still on full display. I sputter as he puts the food down.”
― Louisa Masters, Hijinks With a Hellhound

“Stay biped while he’s in the shower in case he falls or something—DO NOT let me hear”
― Louisa Masters, Hijinks With a Hellhound