Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager Quotes

“you don’t let us out, I’m going to pound you!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“What’s your theme for my dimension?” ask Dave, his voice trembling. “I haven’t quite decided,” said the Glitch Queen. “It’s down to either ‘invasion of the clowns’ or ‘visit to the dentist’.” “You monster!” gasped Dave.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“That’s right,” said Dave. “In fact, our friends are just about to spring an ambush on you. You’d best hand over that Staff.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“narrow corridor that the zombie endermen had come through. It was only two blocks wide and two blocks high, so they had to go single file, and Carl had to stoop over. There had been a bit of an argument between Jimmy and Spidroth as to who would get to go first, and Spidroth had won: so, she led the group, followed by Jimmy, with Carl at the very back, holding Biff in his netherite golem arms. There was no light in the tunnel, so they had to keep putting down torches. As usual in this strange world, the torches burnt with green fire, so the narrow corridor was bathed in an eerie green light. “Wait,” said Spidroth, holding up a hand. “Something’s coming from up ahead.” They all stopped. They could hear something walking towards them down the corridor. Spidroth pulled out her diamond sword, holding it out in front of her, ready to face whatever the creature was. Finally, it walked into the torchlight. “Aw,” said Porkins, “it’s just a pig. Hello, little chap.” The creature did indeed look like a pig: it was pink and had four legs, but there was something odd about it. “Wait,” said Emma, “what’s wrong with its face?” Instead of a normal pig’s face — two eyes and a snout — the pig had two black eyes and a big droopy mouth, just like a creeper. “Good gravy,” gasped Porkins, “it’s not a pig; it’s a creeper-pig!” “A creepig?” suggested Carl. “SQUEEEE!!!” The pig screamed. It started to flash white and charged towards them. “It’s going to explode!” Tina yelled. “Yes, I can see that,” said Spidroth irritably. She slashed her sword, hitting the creepig and sending it flying backward. It landed upside”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“After I put it on, I’ll come back here and pound some sense into these phantoms.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Not really.” “Too bad! I am going to tell you anyway. My theme for your dimension, Jimmy, is cookies with sprinkles.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“hit her square in the chest, breaking open and covering the front of her shirt with milk.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“It was bright white, a liquid dripping off of it.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Good gravy,” gasped Porkins, “it’s not a pig; it’s a creeper-pig!” “A creepig?” suggested Carl.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“I thought we were dead for sure,” said Biff. “I’ve had to spend the last couple of hours listening to Spidroth rant and rave about how stupid and foolish everyone is. It’s been horrible.” “Shut up you, fool.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Jimmy put his hands into his armpits so that his arms bent at a tight angle, giving them the appearance of wings. He then began to flap his arms up and down as though he were a chicken. “Cluck. I’m the Glitch Queen. Cluck. I’m so smart. Cluck. I think killing people is an art project. Cluck. I’m so stupid I can’t do anything without my lame wooden stick. Cluck --”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Dave and Jimmy walked for another thirty minutes”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Jimmy.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“idiot”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“invasion of the clowns’ or ‘visit to the dentist’.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“And you can keep out of it too, old bean,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“He then began to flap his arms up and down as though he were a chicken. “Cluck. I’m the Glitch Queen. Cluck. I’m so smart. Cluck. I think killing people is an art project. Cluck. I’m so stupid I can’t do anything without my lame wooden stick. Cluck --”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Jimmy tossed his diamond chest plate into the lava river. He jumped onto it from the shore,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Suddenly two enormous white wings exploded from the back of the Glitch Queen’s robes. Her limbs grew too, growing so long and wide that they burst through her robes, tearing the material to shreds. The last of the fake villager skin fell from her face, and finally, the Glitch Queen’s true form was revealed. In front of the heroes stood an enormous white dragon. On the end of the Dragon’s long neck was a white creeper’s head — the Glitch Queen’s true face.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Jimmy put his hands into his armpits so that his arms bent at a tight angle, giving them the appearance of wings. He then began to flap his arms up and down as though he were a chicken. “Cluck. I’m the Glitch Queen. Cluck. I’m so smart. Cluck. I think killing people is an art project. Cluck. I’m so stupid I can’t do anything without my lame wooden stick. Cluck --” The”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“If you don’t let us out, I’m going to pound you!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“If that’s your idea of a good friend, brah,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Unfortunately, the enderman was able to tear at Biff’s flesh. “Aarrgghh!” Biff screamed. He looked down at his injured arm and saw the purple, diseased goo from the enderman’s hand entering the wound.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure

“Carl sighed. “I never was very good at geometry.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager and Surfer Villager: Crossover Crisis, Book Two: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure: An Unofficial Minecraft Adventure