A Shape in the Dark Quotes

“I thought about how much easier it is to play make-believe rather than acknowledge all the violence and death that comprises each of our lives.”
― Bjorn Dihle, A Shape in the Dark: Living and Dying with Brown Bears

“I hiked on until I startled a wolf standing at the edge of a willow thicket. It leapt away, then froze and glanced back. One of its paws was mangled. Its head looked huge in comparison to its emaciated body. Slowly, on three legs, its ribs jutting out of its mangy gray coat, the wolf approached. I yelled, and it hopped back into the brush.
The wolf followed me, whining, barking, and letting out ominous howls. A few minutes passed before it emerged from the brush and cut me off. It glanced around nervously then walked toward me. I yelled and waved my arms over my head. It stopped for a moment and then came closer. I had brought my brother Luke's .357 pistol - it was light for bears but, at the time, was the only handgun I had access to. I pulled the pistol from the holster and yelled as angrily as I could. The wolf froze, glancing skittishly back and forth, before hopping into the willows. I continued hiking, and the wolf paralleled me. Twenty minutes later, it cut me off and approached again. At thirty feet, I leveled the pistol and yelled. It glanced back and forth, looking both desperate and terrified, then hobbled closer. At twenty feet, I aimed the pistol.
"Leave me alone!" I yelled as loud as I could.
I'm not sure why I didn't pull the trigger. Maybe it was because I was confident it could not hurt me, armed as I was. Maybe it was because I don't like killing animals I don't eat. Maybe it was because I tricked myself into thinking there was hope the wolf would somehow survive. Maybe it was because I lacked the compassion to help it die.”
― Bjorn Dihle, A Shape in the Dark: Living and Dying with Brown Bears