The Best of Randall Garrett Quotes

“Questions do not offend me, but I can't guarantee that the answers won't offend you.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett

“She's receiving Dr. Sheldon Lord in audience just at the moment," Marshall said. "I don't see why you shouldn't go on to the Throne Room, though. He's giving her some psychological tests, but they ought to be finished in a minute or two." "Fine," Malone said. "How about court dress? Got anything here that might fit me?" Marshall nodded. "We've got a pretty complete line of court costume now," he said. "I should say it was the most complete in existence--except possibly for the TV historical companies. Down the hall, three doors farther on, you'll find the dressing room." * * * * * Malone thanked Dr. Marshall and went out slowly. He didn't really mind the court dress or the Elizabethan etiquette Her Majesty liked to preserve; as a matter of fact, he was rather fond of it. There had been some complaints about expense when the Throne Room and the costume arrangement were first set up, but the FBI and the Government had finally decided that it was better and easier to humor Her Majesty. Malone spent ten minutes dressing himself magnificently in hose and doublet, slash-sleeved, ermine-trimmed coat, lace collar, and plumed hat. By the time he presented himself at the door to the Throne Room he felt almost cheerful. It had been a long time since he had entered the world of Elizabethan knighthood over which Her Majesty held sway, and it always made him feel taller and more sure of himself. He bowed to a chunkily-built man of medium height in a stiffly brocaded jacket, carrying a small leather briefcase. The man had a whaler's beard of blond-red hair that looked slightly out of period, but the costume managed to overpower it. "Dr. Lord?" Malone said. The bearded man peered at him. "Ah, Sir Kenneth," he said. "Yes, yes. Just been giving Her Majesty a few tests. Normal weekly check, you know." "I know," Malone said. "Any change?" "Change?" Lord said. "In Her Majesty? Sir Kenneth, you might as well expect the very rocks to change. Her Majesty remains Her Majesty--and will, in all probability, throughout the foreseeable future." "The same as ever?" Malone asked hopefully. "Exactly," Lord said. "But--if you do want background on the case--I'm flying back to New York tonight. Look me up there, if you have a chance. I'm afraid there's little information I can give you, but it's always a pleasure to talk with you." "Thanks," Malone said dully. "Barrow Street," Lord said with a cheery wave of the briefcase. "Number 69.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“Once he threatened to send Borbitsch to the island of Yap as a spy. That is a very bad place to go to. There are no enjoyments on the island of Yap, and no one likes strangers there.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“There is an old story about a general who went on an inspection tour of the front during World War I, and, putting his head incautiously up out of a trench, was narrowly missed by a sniper's bullet. He turned to a nearby sergeant and bellowed: "Get that sniper!" "Oh, we've got him spotted, sir," the sergeant said. "He's been there for six days now." "Well, then," the general said, "why don't you blast him out of there?" "Well, sir, it's this way," the sergeant explained. "He's fired about sixty rounds since he's been out there, and he hasn't hit anything yet. We're afraid if we get rid of him they'll put up somebody who can shoot.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“American Society for Psychical Research,”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“Yucca Flats, Malone thought, certainly deserved its name. It was about as flat as land could get, and it contained millions upon millions of useless yuccas. Perhaps they were good for something, Malone thought, but they weren't good for him. The place might, of course, have been called Cactus Flats, but the cacti were neither as big nor as impressive as the yuccas. Or was that yucci? Possibly, Malone mused, it was simply yucks. And whatever it was, there were millions of it. Malone felt he couldn't stand the sight of another yucca. He was grateful for only one thing.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“No. What was the Keely Motor?" "Something along the lines of what you have here," the colonel said dryly, "except that Keely at least had an explanation for where he was getting his power. Back around 1874, a man named John Keely claimed he had invented a wonderful new power source. He called it a breakthrough in the field of perpetual motion. An undiscovered source of power, he said, controlled by harmony. He had a machine in his lab which would begin to turn a flywheel when he blew a chord on a harmonica. He could stop it by blowing a sour note.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“Number 37 Upper Berkeley Mews.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“One of the men in the conservative suits said: "Louis Pasteur lived through most of his life with only half a brain and he never even knew it, Frank; maybe--" "Yeah. Maybe," said the”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“theory is only good if it explains all known phenomena in its field. If it does, then the only thing that can topple it is a new fact. The only thing that can threaten the complex structure formulated by a really creative, painstaking, mathematical physicist is experiment!" Senator Gonzales' attentive silence was eloquent. "Experiment!" MacHeath repeated. "That can wreck a theory quicker and more completely than all the learned arguments of a dozen men.”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)

“governments would fall overnight. In Germany, in the 1920s, it was cheaper to burn bundles of one-mark notes than it was to buy firewood with them. Such things will be repeated, not only in the Germanies, but all over Europe. "Some countries, of”
― Randall Garrett, The Best of Randall Garrett: 43 Novels and Short Stories (Unexpurgated Edition)