Merry Measure Quotes

“Beethoven Amadeus Bannister, I’m trying to ask you to marry me,” he shouts. “Jesus, is that your real name? No wonder you prefer Bee,” I say, but everyone ignores me.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I try not to have expectations of your parents,” I say earnestly. “Other than not to move too quickly near them, lest it activate their hunt and kill settings.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Arlo Wright, love of my life,” he says, and there’s something about the tone of his voice that makes tears well up in my eyes. “I have a question for you…”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“He groans and hugs me close, kissing my temple, his breath warm on my face. “I’ll take care of you,” he says, and there’s a solemnness to the words that give them power and weight. I swallow hard. “As long as you let me take care of you, too.” He pulls back and looks into my eyes, his expression serious. “Of that, I have no doubt, Arlo Wright.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I turn to him. “Are you sure you really want to do this? I’m not ordered like Steven. I think I might be allergic to spreadsheets, and I have at best a twenty-minute plan for life. My parents are stoners, and I mostly bring chaos, mess, sarcasm, and clumsiness.” “You’re like my own personal version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“My mum rolls her eyes. “I’m just glad that after years of throwing my children at him, I get to keep Jack in the family. He’s always been my end goal.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I’m warmed by the glow of my love,” Tom informs them solemnly, and I snort with laughter. I turn to find Jack with his phone out videoing everything. “I thought that was against the best friend charter,” I say. He shrugs. “Not when he’s making this big a tit of himself.” “Well, sir,” the policeman says. “Love is a wonderful thing, but it does not prevent hypothermia.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Only you.” “What?” I ask hoarsely. “Only you could take my declaration of interest and nearly end up in a Daddy’s sex den.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you. It’s just that I have really strong feelings for you, and I know it’s not what you expected, and I’m fine if you don’t feel the same. I just⁠—” “Oh my God, I need to fuck you so hard that our dicks fall off from overuse,” I say and then flush bright red, because it was far too loud and several conversations around us have come to an abrupt stop.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I’m here,” he says in an even tone. “Did you want something, Tom?” There’s a too long and very protracted silence while we all stare at each other like we’re appearing in EastEnders and”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I’m here,” he says in an even tone. “Did you want something, Tom?” There’s a too long and very protracted silence while we all stare at each other like we’re appearing in EastEnders and the end music is about to start.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“He looks at me consideringly. “I just want to be with you today. You make everything fun.” I smile helplessly at him even though he just made me sound like a children’s entertainer.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“How nice of you,” Tom says slowly. “Maybe you could consider the old adage of ‘If you can’t say anything nice to my brother, then you can fuck off and take a swim in the canal.’ Have you heard that one?”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Jack nudges me when my stomach starts rumbling again. “Come on. Let’s feed you. The two of you can squabble later.” “Squabble?” my brother says. “Who uses that word, apart from old ladies?”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“The moment he leaves, I’m overwhelmed by the need to twat my brother. I race out into the corridor after him. “Oh really, who are you calling a weirdo?” I shout, dimly aware of a man and a woman standing outside the door to the next room. “I’m not the one who used to rub his squirrel on his penis. When he was thirteen,” I finish triumphantly.
The woman gasps.
“It was a soft toy,” my brother says frantically. “And the fur felt nice.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I’m still clumsy as fuck, but he just laughs and stops me falling. It’s the best metaphor for love that I know.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Are you sure you really want to do this? I’m not ordered like Steven. I think I might be allergic to spreadsheets, and I have at best a twenty-minute plan for life. My parents are stoners, and I mostly bring chaos, mess, sarcasm, and clumsiness.” “You’re like my own personal version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“No. You’re the merry one, and Jack is measured. Together, the two of you will work. You’ll balance each other out.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Arlo, I’ve discovered that the cure for my obsessive tidying is a vat of cherry vodka. After drinking that and eating my own body weight in cherries, I’d even be able to sleep in your flat.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“My mouth twitches and I reach up and grab his face between my palms. “Umpf,” he says as I squeeze his cheeks together so he looks like a fish.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Apart from the fact that I came so hard, I think I’ve died.” “Don’t go towards the light,” he says solemnly, and I snort.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Well, that’s one way to kill the mood,” I say conversationally as he kneels over me, swaying slightly. “Not many men can keep a hard-on while their partner strangles himself.” A smile ticks at his mouth”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“We’d ended up sitting far away from each other, but I suppose if we’d have been close, I might have tackled him and ridden him like a Grand National winner. And now we’re in a club, and Jack’s talking to Freddy at the bar, while I stand with Bee and Diana and try not to look at Jack.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“It’s why so many of our arguments as kids escalated very quickly from hissed words to something approaching the finale of Game of Thrones.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“I had a stack of money, I would seriously be making it rain right now.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Probably just presumed you were a child that they couldn’t remember having,” I say. He laughs, and I grin. “At least you weren’t subject to parents’ evening at school. My dad once came to one and pretended to be Australian for the entire session.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Only Tom would take the act of proposing to his boyfriend and make it into a three-ring circus accompanied by his best friend, his brother, and Fred the Pisshead.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“The car turns out to be a Mercedes and our driver is a man called Pieter.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“laughs and makes his way out of the coffee shop, the crowd obligingly parting for him like he’s Jesus with a bread roll.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure

“Really?” I ask, startled. “I thought they viewed the male part of your bisexuality as something to be hidden in the attic with all the pesky dust collectors like books and art.”
― Lily Morton, Merry Measure