Dead Dad Jokes Quotes

“i watched my dad die.
i watched a man die.
i held the hand of a dead body.
i was alive next to a corpse.
i laughed because i knew i would never be able to explain it.
my dad doesn't have a grave except the one inside my lungs.
i visit the cemetery anyway.
i sit next to the oldest gravestone and open up a book to read.
i say out loud, hello, and am always surprised when no one answers.”
― Ollie Schminkey, Dead Dad Jokes

“when i spell grief, i can never remember if the i or e comes first,
so i spend each day autocorrecting my greif,
my grief, greif, grief, greif,
until i can finally figure out what the fuck it is i’m trying to say.”
― Ollie Schminkey, Dead Dad Jokes

“i see an old man using a walker on the sidewalk,
and my stomach aches for those 30 years my dad never got.

if i die at the same age as my dad, my life is almost half up.

i imagine him sitting at a party, his arm around my pregnant mother.
did he know then?
could he feel his years stumble their way out of his body?
could he feel his life folding in half?”
― Ollie Schminkey, Dead Dad Jokes