Bear Bottom Quotes

“No sooner had the door slammed shut behind him than Grievous Bodily Harm rammed into it. The bull hit the cubicle with the force of an oncoming truck. The Porta-Potty rocked backward and then toppled. From inside came the sound of a large amount of human waste sloshing out of the holding tank, followed by a scream of abject horror and disgust from Morton.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Evan passed. “I’ve been down in that creepy place more than enough,” he said, and went to his room to play video games.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“a raccoon had stolen his bag of Cheetos and demand that the park service refund his money.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“gasses released by these features are somewhat toxic, the area is relatively free of trees, so if you stand at any point, you can see a great panorama of strange geologic formations, with occasional clouds of noxious steam drifting across it. It’s like being on another planet. The bison were grazing on a patch of grass near Castle Geyser, indifferent to the occasional eruptions or the hundreds of gawking tourists around them. Ranger Oh was posted on the pathway closest to them. She was small of stature, but she had an extremely commanding voice when she needed it—which was quite often. She was dressed in the standard ranger uniform: a gray button-down shirt, green pants, and a wide-brimmed Smokey Bear hat. “Most people don’t realize it, but Yellowstone sits directly over the largest supervolcano in North America,” Ranger Oh told us. “That’s why there’s so much geothermal activity here. The last time it blew, it ejected almost two hundred forty cubic miles of debris, leaving a caldera that’s over forty miles across. We’re smack in the middle of it right now. Beneath our feet, there’s a magma chamber twice the size of the country of Luxembourg, holding enough molten”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“beneath. It was only carpeted with area rugs, which we easily rolled out of the way, but sadly, we couldn’t find anything. There didn’t appear to be a single route from the bedroom to the basement. Summer was so annoyed that her theory hadn’t panned out, she was silent for the whole drive into the park, staring sullenly out at the scenery. On that day, Ranger Oh was working in the Upper Geyser Basin near Old Faithful. The bison were free to range wherever they wanted in the park, and a few dozen had decided to graze in the most popular section, as though they were tourists. Ranger Oh was assigned to talk to interested visitors about the bison—and make sure no tourons did anything stupid around them. Old Faithful was named for the fact that it erupts somewhat predictably; it goes off around twenty times a day, blasting thousands of gallons of two-hundred-degree water up to 180 feet into the air. It is amazing to witness, and thus attracts so many visitors that the parking lot is nearly the size of FunJungle’s. There’s one section solely for enormous RVs, which feels more like being at a bus depot than a national park. Just north of Old Faithful, a network of paved trails and boardwalks wind around dozens of lesser known—but still”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“J.J., please be more careful,” Kandace pleaded. “I’m trying to get your necklace back,” J.J. told her sharply. “That necklace won’t do me a bit of good if I’m dead,” Kandace replied.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“That necklace won’t do me a bit of good if I’m dead,” Kandace replied.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“replied.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Summer again. “I guess you’re right,” she said. Meanwhile, their father, Morton, was now attempting to sneak up on the family of elk, even though they were all staring directly at him. He had uprooted a small shrub from the ground—killing it in the process—and was holding it front of him while he waddled across the meadow in a low crouch, apparently hoping that the elk would think he was just a walking bush.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“21”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“I had come face-to-face with a lot of potentially dangerous animals in my life: a tiger shark, a polar bear, an anaconda, a herd of Cape buffalo—and as of that morning, a grizzly bear. (Surprisingly, all of those encounters had taken place after I had moved to civilization. During the ten years that my family had lived in a tent camp in the Congo, my life had been far safer.)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“But if I don’t scare the pants off these idiots, they’ll just go right back when they think I’m not watching.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“But no one can tell I’m Jewish by looking at me.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Zach”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Pete’s husband.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“out to me. “Come on! I know you can do this!” I worriedly glanced back at the stampede. “Don’t look at them!” Summer yelled. “Look at me!”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Molasses didn’t seem to appreciate any of this. (But then, if I had been running for my life with a smaller creature yanking my hair, bouncing up and down on my back, and screaming, I probably wouldn’t have appreciated it either.)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“(But then, if I had been running for my life with a smaller creature yanking my hair, bouncing up and down on my back, and screaming, I probably wouldn’t have appreciated it either.)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“chipper for someone up so early—not to mention someone whose house had been recently trashed by a grizzly bear. Like her father, she was dressed from head to toe in camouflage gear. She looked to her brother. “Ready?” Evan made a face. “We might as well go back to sleep. We’re never gonna find him.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“It’s Teddy,” I said. “Can I come in?” “Of course.” I entered the room. Kandace was sitting in bed, wrapped in a”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“assumed”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“For the Shoshone, the Crow, the Blackfoot, and many other Plains tribes, bison were the main source of food, and their hides were used for clothing and shelter. Those tribes’ ways of life couldn’t exist without the bison, so the thinking went that if the bison were gone—then”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“sixty-nine”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“Oh, all right, I’ll do it. It’s just poop.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“(We got stuck in one traffic jam for fifteen minutes, which turned out to have been caused by tourons stopping in the middle of the road to see a common white-tailed deer.)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP THAT LITTER YOU JUST DROPPED? THIS IS A NATIONAL PARK, NOT A TRASH DUMP!” A touron who had just tossed an empty potato chip bag into the bushes made no attempt to pick it up again. Even though there was a trash can five feet away. So Ranger Oh shouted at him in German. Then Arabic. Then Italian. That did the trick. The touron reluctantly grabbed the chip bag and carried it to the trash can. Ranger Oh said to us, “Sadly, in this job, you have to be able to speak to morons in twelve different languages.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THAT GEYSER! IF IT GOES OFF, THE STEAM WILL SCALD THE FLESH RIGHT OFF OF YOUR BONES!”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“We should still search my sister’s room, though,” Evan said. “She’s evil.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“I finally managed to get myself upright in the saddle on Molasses. “Nice form,” Summer teased.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom

“I made a valiant attempt to mount Molasses, kicking hard off the ground. I swung up into the saddle—and nearly toppled right off the other side of the horse. I had to throw myself forward and wrap my arms around his neck to prevent this from happening, which was not very suave. I caught a glimpse of Summer giggling at my failure.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Bear Bottom