Dave the Villager 31 Quotes

“Bye, Robo-Horse!" Alex shouted. "Good luck!" "Wait, you called your horse 'Robo-Horse'?" said Carl. "But it wasn't a robot." "I named him after Robo-Steve," said Alex sadly. Dave put an arm around Alex. "That was very nice, Alex," Dave told her. "I'm sure Robo-Steve would have liked that." "All right, that's enough of that," said Spidroth, giving Alex a suspicious look, "let's get this over with.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“What happened to Conko? Um… Herobrine gave him one-million emeralds and let him go free. He definitely didn’t get eaten by Enderbrine. Definitely not.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“You first, Carl," said Dave. "Why me?" said Carl. "I'm not jumping down into that dark pit. " "It has to be you first as you're the heaviest," said Dave. "We don't want you landing on the rest of us." "How rude," said Carl, but he jumped down into the darkness nonetheless. "Waaaaaaaa!" Carl screamed, then THOOM, there was the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. "I'm okay!" Carl called up. "Oww," groaned Milo. "I'm not." "Carl!" said Dave. "Did you land on Milo?!" "I didn't mean to," said Carl.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Good gravy," gasped Porkins. "I've got to get a pair of those.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Well, try harder," said Spidroth. "Don't look with your eyes; look with the Sight." "Look with your butt," said Carl. "That's the key to being a mighty warrior — you must use the power of your butt to vanquish your foes.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Dave, it's okay to admit that you're a noob," said Carl. "A lot of noobs go on to live happy and fulfilling lives." "Shut up, Carl," said Dave.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“rolling her eyes. "My uncle used to claim he had a magic pig," said Carl. "According to him, the pig used to poop solid gold blocks. My uncle lived in a big mansion with a swimming pool, but then one day he came downstairs and could smell bacon. One of his maids had accidentally cooked the pig. From that day forward, he never ate pig again.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“most villagers live very boring lives." "She's got a good point there," said Carl. "You guys don't even blow yourselves up.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“If Dave can master his powers, he'll be able to see attacks before they're coming, and no one will be able to defeat him in battle." "I dunno," said Alex, "what if there was a ravager the size of the mountain, and it could shoot other ravagers out of its mouth, and those ravagers were on fire. Would Dave still be able to defeat that?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Unless I attach some firework rockets to this horse, I don't think it can go any faster," said Dave. "Do you have any firework rockets?" asked Milo.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“No foe can stand against us. We are all seasoned warriors. Even the creeper isn't too terrible at fighting." "Wow, Spidroth," said Carl, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me. And to return the favor, I want to tell you how much I love that bright red skin of yours. It makes you look just like a big, freaky apple.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“They began running through this room, Dave placing torches as they ran, and they passed mountains of treasure: huge piles of gold ingots, emeralds and diamonds and lots of strange artifacts and weapons. "My gosh," gasped Milo, "I could spend a hundred years in here, cataloging all these treasures." "You do that," said Carl. "The rest of us will keep running from the husks.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“and Carl, as ever, had a baked potato. "Don't you ever get sick of those things?" Spidroth asked him. "A creeper who is sick of baked potatoes is sick of life," said Carl. "And besides, don't you ever get sick of being ugly?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Knock it off, you two," said Dave. "Porkins is right — you need to share." "Yes, Dad," said Carl. "Wait," said Alex, looking confused, "is Dave your dad, Carl? I never knew that." "Oh brother," said Carl. "Wait, he's your brother?" said Alex. "Now I'm very confused.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Well, try harder," said Spidroth. "Don't look with your eyes; look with the Sight." "Look with your butt," said Carl. "That's the key to being a mighty warrior — you must use the power of your butt to vanquish your foes." "Carl!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“And for once, Carl didn't dare to make a sarcastic comment.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Spiders! Not Spiders Again! Why is it Always Spiders? "Spiders!" whimpered Carl. "Not spiders again! Why is it always spiders?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Not spiders again! Why is it always spiders?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Spiders! Not Spiders Again! Why is it Always Spiders?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Timmy Blade, a young cowman, dreams of becoming a skateboarder. There's only one problem: the Mayor of his village has banned wheels. Can Timmy find some wheels, or will he spend the rest of his days walking instead of rolling?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“bear”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Wow, Spidroth," said Carl, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me. And to return the favor, I want to tell you how much I love that bright red skin of yours. It makes you look just like a big, freaky apple.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Ooo, can I have a baked potato too?" asked Alex. "How many times do I have to go over this?" said Carl. "We've only got a limited number of baked potatoes, so they're all mine.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“blast of green energy at a tree, blowing it to pieces. I guess Future Dave was wrong about the trident being created by villagers, thought Dave. If Milo’s right, it was created by the Old People. "There they are!" shouted Spidroth, shaking Dave out of his thoughts. Up ahead in the distance, two horses”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“sound very convinced. "Besides, I'm an old man. My life is worth far less than that of a priceless artifact." Suddenly, Dave remembered where he’d heard of the Trident of Emeros before: it had been one of the weapons that Future Dave had owned. “The Trident of Emeros,” Future Dave”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Dave had said, as he’d shown the weapon to Dave and Carl. “An ancient weapon created by an”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“Look with your butt," said Carl. "That's the key to being a mighty warrior — you must use the power of your butt to”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“I've got a better idea," said Spidroth. She walked up to the entrance to the corridor, then quickly slammed her foot down on one of the pressure plates, before moving it out of the way again. As soon as the pressure plate was pressed, the dispensers along the walls of the corridor began blasting out arrows: hundreds and hundreds of arrows all down the length of the corridor. The husks began BURRing in pain and panic as they were shot full of arrows. It was a husk massacre, with hundreds of the gray-brown zombies dying every second. Before long, all the husks had been slain, leaving piles of rotten flesh all over the floor. "Wow, Spidroth," said Carl, in awe, "that was… That was pretty ruthless." "Yes, well, I'm a pretty ruthless person," said Spidroth. "You'd do well to remember that, creeper." And for once, Carl didn't dare to make a sarcastic comment.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“He didn’t leave me to die,” said the cowman. “Master Creepo respects me too much. I’m his invaluable servant.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story

“CHAPTER SIX Spiders! Not Spiders Again! Why is it Always Spiders? "Spiders!" whimpered Carl. "Not spiders again! Why is it always spiders?”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 31: An Unofficial Minecraft Story