The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels Quotes

“You are a scoundrel," she whispered furiously.

"Yes," he agreed. "I'm thinking of starting a Society of Gentlemen Scoundrels."

"You're millennia too late. It already exists and is called the patriarchy.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“We are exactly that, Signor. Corsairs, robbers, pirates. I, however, am also a bibliophile, and you are impeding my visit to the library. So either assassinate me now and get it over with, or kindly step aside.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“I needed a book in case of emergencies."

"You mean like being attacked by foul-mouthed highwaymen?"

"No, I mean those moments when nothing important is happening, such as during travel. After supper. Before sleeping. Or whilst one's opponent reloads their gun.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“We have only three laws in our Society, Cecilia. No killing civilians. Pour the tea before the milk. And no stealing each other’s houses.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“She took the spyglass from a nearby shelf and held it to her eye. The world was a vast black emptiness, echoing like the mordant spaces between soul-wrought words...

Ned leaned across and removed the lens cap, and poetry became science again.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“that’s enough history for today. Come and learn how to kill someone with a teaspoon.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Nothing is easier than to admit the truth of the universal struggle to find a good parking space.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Charming man, shame she would have to assassinate him one day soon.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“A lady stays tranquil and poised under all circumstances. Instead of panicking, she squares her jaw, protects her heart, and ensures that she has enough ammunition to gun down everyone in her path.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“It is violence that best overcomes hate, vengeance that most certainly heals injury, and a good cup of tea that soothes the most anguished soul”; thus ran the motto of the Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“I'm afraid I've done nothing at all to advance the plot."
"You chose to come away with me," Ned reminded her.
"So this is merely romance," she frowned disapprovingly. "I was hoping for an epic adventure, or a gothic mystery at the very least."
Ned laughed. "Darling, don't worry, the story has just begun.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“I’m not sure what astonishes me most,” Cecilia replied, “that we didn’t think of it, or that a man on his own actually asked for directions.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“What we need is female suffrage," Cecilia opined as she laid lemon slices, cut into the shape of flowers, atop the tea.

"I'm not so sure of about that," Lady Armitage argued. "We suffer enough as it is.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“He had kissed her twice now. Outrageous! Indefensible! Would he kiss her in the sunlight next time? My goodness, she hoped not! Would he hold her close, his hand stroking her back as if she was something to be handled with care, cherished? Heaven forbid!”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Two roads diverged in a yellow-wallpapered room, and we pirates took the better one,”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Two dozen armed soldiers stood at the threshold.

"Good morning," said the man in front. "Could we interest you in an unconditional surrender?"

"By all means," Cecelia replied. "I do not know who you are, but I am most happy to accept your surrender.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Cecelia acknowledged him with a nod. "Captain Lightbourne, I have heard so much about you. It is a pleasure to" - She held up her hand, and they both waited while her stomach contemplated whether it wished to join in the conversation - "to make your acquaintance," she concluded, and turned to vomit over her corset on the floor.

(As a feminist statement, it was ambiguous at best)”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Ghosts aren't real," Olivia Etterly had assured her with the authority of a woman who had killed enough people to know.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“When she had her own house, she would fill every room with books.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“(After all, the Wisteria Ladies’ Junior Division motto was: “Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and hopefully the other person dies.”)”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Italian,” Cecilia said, disappointment withering each syllable. “You need to be a bit older before you can attract a proper assassin, my dear,” Miss Darlington advised from the interior.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Welcome home, miss," she said, curtsying.

Cecilia reached forward to awkwardly pat the maid's arm. "Thank you, dear. Are you quite all right after your hurried journey?" For Pleasance's curls bristled even more than usual and her eyes shone as if she had skimmed the edge of heaven to get to Pucklechurch and back in time.

"I do feel a little consumptive, miss," Pleasance answered cheerfully. "But such is the way of life. A shadow hangs over all of us, claiming our souls even from the moment of birth, and all we can do is surrender or succumb to screaming madness. Please come in.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Marry me," Ned whispered to Cecilia.
"Over Freddy's dead body," she muttered in reply.
"This afternoon then," Ned said. "The poor chap is about to expire from hysterics.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Don't ever trust a man who flies a ridiculously large building. He's obviously compensating.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“I’m thinking of starting a Society of Gentlemen Scoundrels.” “You’re millennia too late. It already exists and is called the patriarchy.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Crash! The two women looked over at the window as it shattered. A grenade tumbled onto the carpet. Cecilia expelled a sigh of tedium. She snapped the book shut, wended her way through the furnishings, pulled back the drapes, and deposited the grenade through the broken windowpane onto the terrace, where it exploded in a flash of burning light, brick shards, and fluttering lavender buds.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Granted, she did fly that bookshop into the Serpentine when they told her they didn’t stock any Dickens novels, but that only shows a praiseworthy enthusiasm for literature.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“A real assassin would hire a sensible tailor. And a barber. And would not attempt to murder someone five minutes before luncheon.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“a book, a cup of tea, and no company; that was Cecilia’s idea of heaven.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

“Men these days. Albert was the same. "Don't ride in an open carriage for fear of assassins." "Don't have parties." "Don't hit me with the furniture." They need to develop more spine.”
― India Holton, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels