Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? Quotes

“Let’s not forget what happened when Morgan Piers went to America and lectured them on gun ownership. They put a flea in his ear and sent him packing, and now he has to earn a living from behind a veil of orange makeup on breakfast TV. If Ms Meghan doesn’t learn a lesson from that sorry tale, she may well end up in exactly the same boat.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“Yes, it’s true, you can only be as happy as your least happy child and they are a constant font of worry and stress.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“shop assistants who think they can sing”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“Some well-known acronyms simply don’t work at all. Pin number, for example. Because what you’re actually saying is ‘personal information number number’. It’s the same with those who refer to the HIV virus. Or an ATM machine. Or an LCD display. Or an ISDN network. Then you have abbreviations that are longer to use than the actual words. Worldwide web, for instance, is three syllables, whereas WWW is nine. And why say: ‘Have you RSVPed?’ when you mean ‘Have you replied?’?”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“The rules of war, then, have always changed as a reaction to the conflict that’s just been fought.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“The problem is that social media, which is seen as the pulse of the nation, is actually nothing of the sort. It’s the pulse of the young and the idealistic.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“We waste an enormous amount of time making decisions based entirely on this fanciful notion that we like alternatives.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

“I have no idea how millennials are getting so fat. Perhaps it’s because, as we’ve learnt, they prefer lunching via telephone to getting off their arses and going to an actual restaurant. But I think the real problem is that they are a very miserable generation who believe that Theresa May set the Grenfell Tower alight by herself and that the country would be better if it had a man called Stormzy in the hot seat. They are steered through life by campaigning websites, leftie tweets and inspirational hashtags, and as a result see inequality and injustice all around them. Especially on Instagram, where everyone else is always on holiday. And has a better-looking dog.”
― Jeremy Clarkson, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?