Goodbye, Asshat Quotes

“But, you know, randomly saying things that have no basis in reality is kind of your shtick. I’d hate to take that away from you because the rest of your life is naught but furry porn, unicorn farts, and unconscious self-loathing.”
― Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump

“It’s like they coated Nixon in DQ butterscotch cone dip and injected bath salts into his amygdala with a Black & Decker roofing nailer.”
― Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump

“That’s a rather extended version of aspirational rhetoric short of any evidence,’ said Tom Miller, a resident fellow at the conservative American Enterprise Institute.”
― Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump

“Remember the dishwasher? You’d press it, boom! There’d be like an explosion. Five minutes later, you open it up, the steam pours out, the dishes. Now you press it 12 times. Women tell me, again, you know, they give you four drops of water.”
― Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump