Dave the Villager 28 Quotes

“Normally I prefer to go nude,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“yelled Dave. “Arrrggh!!!!” yelled Carl. “Arrrggh!!!!” yelled Steve. “Good gravy!!!!” yelled Porkins.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Who would like to see them get their own spinoff???”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“the villager kid wearing red, but there were two other villager kids as well: one of them wearing blue clothes and the other wearing green. They all had baseball caps.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Affirmative,” said Cluckles 2.0. “Although my kicking attack is not just limited to butts.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“netherite”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“WOOOOMMMPH!!!!!!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“normal zombies too. All the zombies had white skin and blue eyes. “You’ve fought these zombies before,” Dave said to Steve. “They’re not weak to sunlight, but do they have any other weaknesses?” “The normal zombies are the key,” said Steve, pointing at one of the non-cowman zombies. “If you defeat one of those bros, all the bros that they turned into zombies turn back to normal.” “That’s great,” said Carl, “but we don’t have any weapons. We’re sitting chickens out here.” The zombies began to close in on Dave, Carl, Porkins, Steve, Derek Cool and his nephews. The entire pitch was covered in zombies now and they were stuck in the middle: there was no way out. Dave looked up at the stands and saw that they were full of zombies as well.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Well done, little bro,” said Steve. “Although I could probably run faster than that, to be honest. I’m an awesome runner.” “If you want we could dress you up as a chicken and enter you in the race?” Carl suggested”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Carl abandons the quest for a mountain of baked potatoes”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Hi! Has this ever happened to you? You’ve just finished the latest Dave the Villager book, and all you want to do is talk about it. Will Dave recover from the latest cliffhanger? Will Robo-Steve ever come back for good? Will we really have to wait until Book 50 to see the enderdragon??? So you go and see your friends at school, but all they want to talk about is Surfer Villager. “The Surfer Villager books are great,” they tell you. “You should check them out!” “Don’t talk to me about Surfer Villager!” you yell at them. “The Dave the Villager books are the only books I’ve ever read, and they’re the only books I ever will read! Dave Villager is the greatest author of all time!” “Wait,” they say, “isn’t Dave Villager the character, not the author?” “No, you morons,” you scream, “Dave Villager is the author, and Dave the Villager is the character!” “That’s very confusing,” they reply. “No it’s not!” you bellow, spraying them with spittle. “Is the author’s surname really Villager?” they ask. “Come to think of it, is his first name really Dave?” “Is Dr Block really a doctor?!” you roar. “I DON’T THINK SO!!!” “He might be,” they say. “SHUT UP!!!” you exclaim. And then you run home crying. When you get home, your Aunt Mavis gives you a big hug. “What’s the matter, dear?” Aunt Mavis asks. “Those idiots at school don’t know anything about Dave the Villager,” you sob, wiping the tears from your eyes. “All I want to do is find someone I can discuss my favorite books with. I want to discuss the mythology of the Old People, and whether it’s remained consistent throughout all 28 books! I want to debate whether or not Dave could have prevented the destruction of the mirror universe in Book 20! I want someone to read my Boggo fanfiction!” “Oh, I don’t know about any of that,” says Aunt Mavis. “I haven’t read any unofficial Minecraft fiction in years. I used to read Diary of an Angry Alex, but when the books stopped I was devastated. I vowed never to read any Minecraft books ever again. And that’s a promise I will keep until the day I die. Now I only read Roblox novels.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Who’s Steve?” Steve asked. “Um, you are,” said Dave. “That’s your name.” “What’s a name?” asked Steve. “Um… it’s a word that a person calls themselves,” said Dave. “Right,” said Steve. “What’s a ‘word’?” Oh boy, thought Dave. This is going to be tough…”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“I think Cluckles 2.0 is telling us that he’s able to kick some serious butt,” said Carl.  “Affirmative,” said Cluckles 2.0. “Although my kicking attack is not just limited to butts.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Now,” said the announcer, “without further ado, let’s… oh no! Help! No! Stop! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” “Well that’s the weirdest announcement I’ve ever heard,” said Carl. “Something’s wrong,” said Dave.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“The four of them left their room and went down the corridor to see Derek Cool. Larry, Barry and Gary were already awake, dressed and reading comic books, but Derek was still fast asleep. “Yo, we tried to wake him, but we couldn’t,” said Larry. “Wake up, Derek,” said Dave, shaking Derek Cool’s shoulder. “I’m cool,” Derek muttered in his sleep. “I’m cool, I’m cool…” “Let me try,” said Carl. He slithered up onto the bed, then began slapping Derek Cool across the face with his little creeper legs. “Wake up, you idiot!” Carl bellowed. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!!!” “What’s going on?!” said Derek. “Who’s slapping me?” “I think he’s awake now, Carl,” said Dave. “You can stop slapping him now.” “I have to be sure,” said Carl, giving Derek some more slaps. “Waaa!” yelled Derek. “Get off, get off!” “I think he’s starting to stir,” said Carl. “I’ll give him a few more slaps, just to make one-hundred percent sure.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“How are you feeling, Cluckles?” Dave asked. “Are you all ready for the big race?” “My systems are running at 100 percent,” said Cluckles 2.0. “Well, get them running at 110 percent,” said Carl. “We need you to win that race.” “I’m afraid that is a mathematical impossibility,” said the golden chicken.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Are you all ready for the big race?” “My systems are running at 100 percent,” said Cluckles 2.0. “Well, get them running at 110 percent,” said Carl. “We need you to win that race.” “I’m afraid that is a mathematical impossibility,” said the golden chicken.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“If we survive this, I’m gonna be having nightmares for weeks!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Get away from our bro, bros!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“My father will not be easy to defeat,” said Spidroth. “If he is so powerful that potions don’t even stop him, I’m not sure what hope we have.” Dave tried to take what Spidroth was saying seriously, but it was difficult when her words were coming out of the beak of a chicken. Unlike the others, she was sitting on the table rather than on the benches, as she was so small. “I think we should destroy him,” said Carl. “We should obliterate him, and make him suffer!” “Well, I guess that would be no more than Herobrine deserves,” said Dave. “Herobrine?” said Carl. “I was talking about what I’ll do to the landlord if he doesn’t have any baked potatoes!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Tubular,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Arrrggh!!!!” yelled Dave. “Arrrggh!!!!” yelled Carl. “Arrrggh!!!!” yelled Steve. “Good gravy!!!!” yelled Porkins.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Is that ketchup? PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S KETCHUP!!!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Bring it in, bro,” sobbed Steve. “Let me feel the love.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Hench the name: Herobrine. He is a great hero,”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Bomber774 imagines what will happen when Herobrine returns. Is that ketchup? PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S KETCHUP!!!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“An Awesome Fan of Dave (great name!) drew this pic of when Carl dreamed of marrying a baked potato and then eating his own children. I think Carl needs some serious therapy!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“There’s something wrong with this diamond, bro,” said Steve, who had just dug up a piece of lapis lazuli.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Well,” said the landlord, “we’ve got cooked mutton, steak, cooked rabbit, melon, beetroot… oh, and some lovely chicken!” “Er, no chicken please,” said Dave, looking awkwardly at Spidroth. “Oh, and cooked porkchops as well,” said the landlord. “Er, no porkchops either,” said Dave, looking at Porkins. “Just bring us everything that isn’t pork and chicken.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“I think we should destroy him,” said Carl. “We should obliterate him, and make him suffer!” “Well, I guess that would be no more than Herobrine deserves,” said Dave. “Herobrine?” said Carl. “I was talking about what I’ll do to the landlord if he doesn’t have any baked potatoes!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book