The Conversation Quotes

“But given that the children are products of the same biological stock, a much more plausible explanation for the differences in performance has to do with differences in parents' rearing and expectations of their first child compared with their younger children.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Talking Honestly About Racism Can Transform Individuals and Organizations

“We divide ourselves into ‘us’ and ‘them’ based on all sorts of random and insignificant traits… According to optimal distinctiveness theory, humans are drawn to social groups that simultaneously fulfill two conflicting needs - - a need for assimilation, or the desire for social connection, affiliation, inclusion, and belonging, and a need for differentiation, or the desire to be unique, special, and distinctive.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“If we focused on these five interconnected foundations of oppression in a thoughtful and effective way, we could eliminate the lion’s share—perhaps 90 percent or more—of systemic racism that exists in our country. 1. Voting rights 2. Economic inequality 3. Public education 4. Criminal justice 5. Healthcare disparities”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“If we summarize the origins of racism (and sexism) in a single word, it is power. It is both the desire to maintain power and the fear of losing power.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Research confirms that the belief in meritocracy or economic mobility creates tolerance for income inequality, because we then believe that people’s financial status is the product of their own effort.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“One might argue that being disabled confers an advantage when driving around a parking lot. But believing that people with disabilities have more privilege than able-bodied individuals in general because they get access to closer parking spaces is an example of compartmentalization.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Beliefs, not facts, lead to choices (for example, hiring decisions), which lead to outcomes (for example, economic disparities). Therefore, it is just as important to understand the source of people’s beliefs about racism as it is to understand the reality of racism.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“To get people truly motivated, engaged, and devoted to a course of action, they must develop a greater understanding, appreciation, and responsibility for the work that is being undertaken and the reasons behind it.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“People are unlikely to take steps toward solving a problem if they don't believe that it concerns them. But assuming there is knowledge of the Condition as well as sufficient Concern, the next question becomes: What do I do to fix it? This is the sage that most individuals and leaders want to jump to *first*, rather than last - - which would be a mistake. It is akin to a doctor prescribing medicine for symptoms (e.g. headache) without performing an examination to better understand the patients' underlying condition and whether the patient will comply with prescribed regimen. If the headache is caused by severe dehydration, for example, and the patient is given ibuprofen to get rid of the headache without any plan for rehydration, then the headache will recur - - not to mention the likelihood of more serious medical problems. In many ways, Strategy is the "easiest" of the five stages.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Talking Honestly About Racism Can Transform Individuals and Organizations

“What you do have control over is how much you develop your employees. Focus on being a coach rather than a scout.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“In addition, you need to address the “frozen middle,” who often resist or oppose diversity initiatives because they do not understand them or because they see them as a threat to their own professional ascent.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“conservative ideology is in many ways grounded in perceptions of threat.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“people felt more affirmed, safe, secure, valuable, worthy, respected, and competent—in a deep and genuine way, not just a mantra or story that they tell themselves—then levels of prejudice would decrease.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Your job now is to translate that knowledge into action, while keeping in mind that the goal is not to boil the ocean. It’s to boil the water in your pot or kettle—the bigger the better—and put it in the ocean. With a sufficient number of pot boilers, a pond will boil, as will a lake, and potentially an ocean.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Assumptions can have a profound effect on actual outcomes.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Extending this metaphor to organizations, it’s not sufficient to just have diverse people on a team—it’s also important to recognize and utilize the unique capabilities that they bring to the table.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“It is clear from my reading of the Bible which of the moral foundations Jesus valued most. He did not want to be a king (authority), he did not take sides (loyalty), and he embraced even those society considered “unclean,” such as lepers, beggars, and harlots (purity). He was all about justice (fairness) and compassion (not harming others)—so much so that he even showed humanity and forgiveness toward those who betrayed, tortured, and murdered him.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Mother Teresa once said, “If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Much social psychological research has shown that cultural expectations and self-fulfilling prophecies can affect outcomes.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“What is critically important for now is to understand—to really understand—that the heart of racism is power and the soul of racism is fear, with the heart striving to protect the soul.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos, and other titans of corporate America. Remember the quiz question posed at the beginning of the chapter? These three men have more wealth than the combined bank accounts and assets of how many ordinary Americans? The answer is G—the combined wealth of the poorest 165 million people in the United States still falls tens of billions of dollars short of the combined wealth of just three White men.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Not having the benefit of attending tea with the queen is not the same as having the burden of harassment or violence by the police.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Research reveals that one of the most effective strategies for getting people to lower their reliance on emotional truth is by increasing their belief that they are competent, worthy, and good—a process known as self-affirmation.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Education, conversation, and action—in that order.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations

“Relationships provide a portal for facts to enter and learning to occur. They create what Bryan Stevenson, founder and executive director of the Equal Justice Initiative and author of Just Mercy, refers to as “proximity.” People need to get proximate to one another for change to occur.”
― Robert Livingston, The Conversation: How Seeking and Speaking the Truth About Racism Can Radically Transform Individuals and Organizations