Don't Believe the Swipe Quotes

“Sometimes closure arrives two years later, on an ordinary Friday afternoon, in a way you never expected or could have predicted. Sometimes it comes while standing on a street corner where you once had your first kiss with a guy you would go on to love and then lose. And you cry a little and you laugh a little, and for the first time in a long time . . . you exhale. You are free. That’s the thing about closure. It can arrive on any day, at any time. Sometimes it’s weeks, sometimes months, sometimes even years later. Sometimes other people give it to you. But most of the time, closure is a gift you give yourself. You can rarely know when or how it will come. And you can’t wait around or put your life on hold looking for it. But given enough time . . . Closure always comes. And it feels like freedom.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“We have to stop spending our life waiting to be set free from this “prison” called singleness so we can finally join the ranks of celebrated coupledom. If society won’t throw the party for us, let’s throw it ourselves! Our unfinished, unwritten, imperfect lives deserve to be honored. Our life choices deserve to be recognized. And our singleness should be celebrated. We’re doing this life thing just fine alone, and if that isn’t brave and admirable and confetti-worthy, then I don’t know what is. I urge you to find a way to celebrate yourself and your singleness on a regular basis. Decide that you are going to be happy no matter what. Decide that you are going to make your dreams come true no matter what. And if those dreams include things like adopting a child and buying a house and doing things that people usually wait to do ’til they’re married . . . I want you to do them anyway. I want you to stop waiting and start living. Stop waiting for love, stop waiting for marriage, stop waiting for Prince Charming to come along and rescue you, and start designing a life you don’t wish to be rescued from. Life is short, and it’s high time to decide that, alone or accompanied, you are going to build the most beautiful life you can, and then you are going to revel in it. Because, guess what? You are the one you’ve been waiting for. You are the one who can make your dreams come true. You are the one, the only one, you will 100 percent definitely spend the rest of your life with . . . and it’s time to start making you happy. Not as a New Year’s resolution or at some lofty date in the future but right now. Because you are worthy of a beautiful life, and that beautiful life starts and ends with you. Don’t just accept your singleness—honor it! Appreciate it. Revel in it. Throw a shower for yourself and register at Target and Starbucks if you want to. But don’t keep wishing it away because you’re hoping and praying and longing for marriage. Stop letting the swipe rule your life. And don’t for one second allow society to cause you to believe that you don’t lead a life that’s worthy of celebrating. Whether your singleness is for a season or for a lifetime, there is great beauty, adventure, magic, love, laughter, and happiness right here in the middle of this moment. And I don’t know about you, but I’d say that’s worth a celebration or two.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“According to the life plan I came up with for myself when I was all of twenty-two (and utterly clueless about life), I’m “supposed” to be married with kids and a minivan and a house with a white picket fence right now. But instead I’m single with no kids and a car instead of a minivan and an apartment with no white picket fence in sight. But guess what? I love my life and I love my non-minivan and I love my cozy little apartment and I love this moment that I’m in right now. The way I see it, you can waste every precious minute of your life wishing to be somewhere else, doing something else . . . or you can simply toss out your own “life plan” and celebrate this season to the fullest—this beautifully uncertain, wild, magical, imperfect season of becoming a party of you before you become a party of two.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“There’s a quote that says, “You’re not single because something is wrong with you. You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that.” I’m not sure who said that, but I say “Yassssss, queen (or king)!” There’s not some deep, dark, mysterious, terrible reason why you’re still single, and singleness is not a curse, a disease, or a punishment. It’s time we stop acting like it is. If marriage is honored as a life choice, why isn’t singleness? Singleness wasn’t thrust upon us. It’s not some horrible disease we woke up with one day. We’re not just idling around, stewing in our own lonely misery, and waiting for the day when someone comes along and marries us and gives our lives meaning. Every day we are doing great big, scary, amazing things, and we are doing them all alone! And that is something to be recognized and commended and celebrated.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“We singles buy gifts we can’t afford and take off work to get fitted for endless numbers of (mostly unflattering) bridesmaids’ dresses and budget for housewarming presents, birthday presents, anniversary presents, graduation presents, shower presents, and on and on and on . . . all in the name of being supportive of our married friends’ life choices. And that’s a beautiful thing. But why aren’t our choices being celebrated?”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“And then it occurred to me the other day . . . almost like a light bulb going off above my head as I sat and pondered my singleness, and the answer became crystal clear. Why does singleness have this overwhelmingly negative connotation? Because we don’t celebrate our singles. Like, at all. We just don’t. I mean, yeah . . . we have birthdays, of course . . . but who over the age of about twenty-five really makes a big deal out of their birthday? And besides, everybody has a birthday, so that doesn’t count. We simply don’t celebrate our singles. We celebrate our couples for making the decision to get married. We celebrate them again once they actually get married. We celebrate their choice to start a family (and then celebrate them again and again and sometimes again and again and again when they decide to expand that family). We celebrate the anniversaries of their marriages and the christenings and baptisms of their babies and their kids’ birthdays and their buying of a new home or choosing to adopt. Sometimes we even celebrate when they decide to end their marriage. But we simply don’t celebrate our singles.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Why is our singleness viewed as a negative thing to begin with? Who gets to determine that for us? Society? Pop culture? Married people? Did we label it as negative? Why are we made to feel less than or lacking or incomplete just because we happen to check the box marked “Single” on tax forms and job applications?”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“We have to wait around for a relationship to realize our destiny. It’s time to stop waiting and start living. Yes, two people coming together is a beautiful thing . . . but so is one person standing boldly in their purpose. You don’t have to sit idly by, waiting for the day that a prince comes riding up on his white horse and the two of you gallop off into the sunset of your destiny. Your destiny is in the here and now. God wants to do something powerful with you and for you and through you now. Today. This moment. I don’t know what it is, I can’t possibly tell you what your destiny on this planet is, but I can tell you that had I not made the choice to follow my passion and chase my dreams and pour my heart and soul into making the world around me a better place right where I was . . . you wouldn’t be reading this book right now. I had to get past my singleness and decide that I had things to do with my life, and I didn’t have time to wait around on a man to come along for me to do them. I hope with all my heart that someday someone will come along and join me in my journey, but I’m not going to hit the Pause button on my life until that happens (although I do reserve the right to hit the Pause button on my dating life from time to time). And you shouldn’t either. Do all the things you want to do with your life right now. Stop waiting. Because the truth is, a woman who creates a full, joyful, meaningful life for herself is a lot more appealing (and happy) than a woman who waits around on a man to do it for her.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Our lives don’t serve a purpose unless we’re in a relationship. We matter. We matter. We have precious gifts to offer the world that have nothing whatsoever to do with our relationship status. We might be single, but we are not “singular” in any way. We are multidimensional, unique, talented, purposeful, meaningful people with hugely important lives and destinies. A relationship can certainly bring us great happiness and fulfillment and even new purpose and meaning . . . but we are here to bring those very things to the world around us, just as we are. And sometimes our unattached, unencumbered single lives can have even more purpose than our future married lives, because we are able to wholeheartedly and without distraction pursue our passions, our calling, our dreams, our greater purpose. A relationship can someday add to that, but it cannot and will not ever define or replace your greater purpose. There is something you and only you are meant to do with your life that isn’t dependent on a relationship to make it happen. Like I always say, you don’t need a significant other to lead a significant life.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Singleness is not a curse thrust upon us. It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not an insult or a weapon to be hurled at us, as our society unfortunately often does, particularly when it comes to social media. You wouldn’t believe how many times people have disagreed with something I’ve tweeted or posted and have retaliated with “Oh, so THAT’S why you’re still single!” in an effort to hurt me by using the area of my life in which they think I am the most vulnerable. And, you know what? Singleness is an area of my life where I am vulnerable, because I don’t understand it. Not being coupled up at age forty-one makes no sense to me, and sometimes it causes me great distress and worry and anxiety to consider the fact that I might never be coupled up. But . . . not being coupled up doesn’t mean that I am lacking or deficient or romantically challenged. It simply means that I haven’t found the right person (or my “lobster,” as Phoebe Buffay would say). We have to stop blaming ourselves and carrying around the weight of feeling broken and screwed up simply because we haven’t yet found love. It’s simply not true. Certainly, we all have room for growth and are all flawed and imperfect in our own unique ways, but that is true for everyone who walks this planet . . . not just us single folks.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“That feeling usually passes pretty quickly and I remember why I love my singleness so much. The thing I try to remember in those vulnerable moments is this: I don’t know whether I’ll ever have someone there to grab my hand in the park, but I can’t let that stop me from reaching out my hand to grab on to other things. There’s so much joy and possibility and life to grab on to that has nothing whatsoever to do with finding love or romance. I can grab my friends’ hands. I can grab my nieces’ hands. I can grab the opportunity to speak life and hope and love into the hearts of others. I can even grab a pair of designer shoes if I want, because I have no one to answer to about how ridiculously expensive they are! And I can grab happiness. It’s there. It’s a different sort of happiness than the couple in the hammock—but happiness is still happiness, any way you slice it.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“It’s in the quiet moments that I really feel my aloneness: when someone hurts my feelings and I wish I had someone there to defend me or simply provide a shoulder to cry on, if my GPS takes me somewhere crazy and I have no one to weigh in on which way to go (on the road or in life!), or when I’m sitting under a tree in a park reading a book and wishing I had someone beside me to take my hand the way the guy in the hammock took his lady’s hand. In those moments, my walls come down and I admit to myself that sometimes being single just hurts.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“And finally . . . real love isn’t like a movie or a TV show, and it’s not supposed to be. Real love doesn’t have to chase you to the airport at the end of the movie, because real love doesn’t leave in the first place. If he was and is the one you were meant to be with, he would have stuck around. Or you would have stuck around. You both would have stuck around—for the hard stuff, for the intense stuff, for the messy stuff. Don’t get so sucked into the idea of a perfect Hollywood ending that you mistake glitter for gold.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“As for the “unfinished business” excuse? I would argue that any ending, no matter how it comes about, is closure. It’s okay and even healthy to let some things end messily and badly. You can’t put a cherry on top of every sundae. Sometimes things end because they’re supposed to end, and you don’t get an explanation or an apology or closure. My therapist also likes to remind me that we are responsible for our own closure. You should never leave your peace of mind or ability to move on in someone else’s hands.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“I want to encourage you to let go a little too. Stop pacing, stop sweating, stop controlling, stop fretting. Stop trying to cling and grasp and control the outcome. Stop refusing to allow yourself to feel because you’re afraid you might get hurt. Some of the most beautiful things, beautiful dances, and beautiful relationships happen when we just . . . let . . . go.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“In life, and especially in dating . . . if they wanted to, they would. If they wanted to call you, they would. If they wanted to text you, they would. If they wanted to ask you out, they would. If they wanted to be your boyfriend, they would. If they wanted to marry you, they would. If they wanted to stop seeing other people, stop creeping around behind your back, stop being shady, and generally get their act together so as not to lose you . . . they would. So please stop buying into the whole “he’s too scared, he’s too busy, he’s too intimidated, he’s too shy, he’s too much of a friend to risk the friendship, he’s too focused on his career, he’s too damaged from past relationships, he’s too closed off, he’s too _______” excuses. Get honest with yourself. It might be painful, but it is also incredibly freeing. The truth will always set you free. Free to stop wasting time. Free to stop waiting around on him or anyone else to love you. Free to go in search of someone who wants the things you want and, more importantly, wants you the same way you want them. It’s so simple. If they wanted to . . . they would. That’s really all you need to know.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“You have to stop letting the swipe rule your life by equating a man’s behavior with your worth. How he acts or doesn’t act says way more about him than it does about you. Sometimes guys ghost and disappear and you never hear from them again and it makes zero sense. But unless you’re acting needy or clingy, or you’re getting way too attached and too serious, too fast and scaring him off, it’s not about you at all. This is just the modern dating game. HIM disappearing doesn’t mean YOU’RE not “worthy.” It means he wasn’t the right person for you. Not everyone you date is the right person. In fact, there are a lot more wrong ones than right ones! Like we talked about in chapter 1, you have to master the art of catch and release. If they act up or ghost or are halfhearted—release them and move on. But stop taking it as an indication of your worth, because the two things are completely separate. And if you don’t know that, then you need to step away from dating and go to therapy and do the hard work on yourself until you are so secure in who you are, no one can shake it. There was a time when I allowed rejection to cause me to question myself too, but I ultimately decided I wasn’t going to allow dating or any man or anyone on this planet to make me feel less than. It’s almost never about you. Your worth is a fixed point and doesn’t change based on someone’s inability to see it. Now go forth and date in power, gorgeous!”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“You will never have to fruitlessly chase any relationship that is truly meant for you. You will never have to tell the right man how to act. You won’t have to ask him to show up for you or meet you halfway or be a gentleman or put in effort. You won’t have to beg him to be excited about you. You won’t have to do all the planning and the calling and the texting and the orchestrating of a relationship that’s truly meant to be. If your “relationship” feels like a job . . . it’s time to resign immediately. Love should not be that hard. It just shouldn’t. You deserve someone who makes you feel special regularly, who matches your effort, who makes you smile rather than cry. You deserve someone who’s all in. Stop settling for crumbs, beautiful one. You are worth the whole entire meal.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“In closing, be open, be clear, be communicative, be engaged, don’t be afraid to be bold and text, call, or ask a man out first . . . but please, by all means . . . stop chasing him if he keeps running. Something better is coming! You are worth being wooed and pursued. It’s time to resign from any relationship that makes you feel like you have to hustle for anyone’s time, love, and attention. The only man you should be chasing is the ice cream man on a hot summer day.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“You’re allowed to have high standards. You’re allowed to love yourself. You’re allowed to believe that you are worthy of the very best in love and life. And you’re allowed to not apologize for any of it. Expecting to be treated well does not make you hard to love. Having boundaries does not make you hard to love. Refusing to settle for less than the best does not make you hard to love. I’m not sure at what point we decided that a woman unwilling to compromise her standards and settle for less than the best is difficult, but can we cancel that archaic notion, please? Along with the idea that a confident woman is full of herself or that a woman who knows what she wants is a diva. It’s not unreasonable to want to be treated well and to refuse to put up with nonsense. Never apologize for being the strong, confident, bold, self-assured bossbabe that you are. You fought way too hard to become her.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Does this mean I think you should stubbornly refuse to give any guy a chance who doesn’t look like Channing Tatum? Or that you should dismiss every guy who’s a little shorter than you had hoped or blonder than you had visualized or older or younger than you had planned? No. There certainly should and needs to be flexibility and openness to the idea that the person you choose to spend your life with might not fit some preconceived mold or check every single box you have for him. There does have to be a willingness to compromise when it comes to the fine print. But the big things—Is he loyal and honest and kind? Does he have goals and dreams and ambition? Does he do what he says he’ll do and follow through and keep commitments and show up for you? and so on and so forth—those are areas in which you have a right to stand tall and firm on your standards and not back down. Because here’s the thing: yes, singleness can be a little lonely. It can be a little sad. It can be difficult and awkward, and let’s be real: it just plain sucks at times. But nothing . . . and I mean nothing . . . is lonelier or sadder or more challenging than waking up one morning to find yourself trapped in a relationship with someone who is wrong for you, simply because you compromised your standards to avoid winding up alone. (Or because you chose him simply because he has hair.) It’s time to tell the world that, yes, we are single; yes, we have standards; and, no . . . we won’t apologize for it. Because high standards don’t signify a diva. They signify a woman who knows what she’s worth.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“I don’t know about you . . . but I didn’t wait this long and come this far to give up and settle for “okay.” Or even for “good.” Just “good” or “okay” is not going to cut it for me when it comes to the person I spend the rest of my life with. And I’m not going to apologize for that. I think that past the age of about thirty, single women with standards are too often labeled as too picky, too high maintenance, too hard to please, or a diva—all because we happen to know what we want and we’re not going to settle for less. Well . . . I say, no more. We have to stand up and own our right to jack our standards to Jesus and be vigilant about who and what we allow into our lives. Especially as it relates to who we invite to share our lives.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Yes, I want to be married someday. Maybe even someday not too far from now. I want to be a mom someday. I want to have a family, a tribe, a home team. But none of those desires discount the value of my life currently, just as it is. And my life is certainly worth way too much to just settle for the first man that comes along. I don’t want to escape my life. And I don’t want love to be an escape. I want it to be a sweet, beautiful respite.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“I like that my closet is filled (to the brim) with my clothes and shoes and that I don’t have to save half the space for anyone else’s clothes and shoes. (I especially like this.) I like that I can eat cold pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner if I choose to. I like that I can flip the two meals without concern that someone won’t like my random tastes. I really like that I can use my kitchen cabinets for storage space rather than for dishes or canned foods. I like that I don’t own a garlic press, nor do I know how to use one. I like that I have no need to know that right now. I like that I choose my own bedtime, my own alarm clock setting, my own home décor, my own vacation spots, my own TV channels, my own meals, my own life. I like that I’m only thinking and planning for one. I like that I have multiple remote controls and no clue what they go to, but I’m afraid to toss them out because they could be connected to a device that I might someday want to use again . . . and I control them all. I like that I can sit on my balcony on a cool autumn night with a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa and talk to God for hours, because I don’t have anywhere else to be or anyone else to be with. I like that my heart belongs to Him and is safe with Him. I like that He is the only entity I feel the need to consult with before making big life decisions . . . and I like that I have the luxury of a deeply intimate walk with Him, because He has my undivided attention and undistracted devotion. I’m pretty sure God really likes that too. So, after giving it all very careful consideration . . . I don’t think I’m merely settling for my life. I think I’ve chosen it.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Because I’m forty-one and single, does that mean I should have to compromise every standard I’ve ever had for myself and for the person I hope to marry, just so I can make it down the aisle at all costs? Does being single in your thirties and forties and beyond have to automatically equal settling, just to avoid winding up alone? And, if so, what exactly does that say about the value we place on our own life and our own solo journey? Here’s the thing: I like my life. I like my schedule. I like staying up late and sleeping in. I like the quiet, peaceful hours between midnight and 3:00 a.m. I also like choosing to turn in at 8:00 p.m. if I want to, and I like stretching across the entire bed when I do. Better yet, I like using the empty side of the bed for the books and magazines and other materials I read late into the night. Or for my laptop. Or for that stack of DVDs I’m making my way through (rewatching Pretty Little Liars for about the tenth time, currently). I like running my fan at night as I sleep, and I like keeping the window up to let in the cool air in the fall so I can snuggle even deeper into my covers. I like that I don’t have to listen to anyone snoring as I sleep, since I’m such a light sleeper that I can hear a mosquito sneeze in the next county. I like that if I wake up at 4:00 a.m. and want to eat cookies in bed, I can, and I won’t wake anyone up in the process. I like that my DVR is filled with This Is Us, Survivor, and reruns of The Golden Girls and Friends rather than football or the news.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“There is no timeline you must follow. You’re not too late . . . you’re not too early . . . you are just where you should be at this moment in your life, so relax. There’s plenty of time to find love, there’s plenty of time to get married, there’s plenty of time to live happily ever after. And it starts by living happily now by embracing this version of yourself—this wild, unsettled, unfinished version of yourself. Every moment of your life and your journey is so precious and sacred, and it’s so very, very okay that it is completely unique and entirely your own. You don’t have to catch up to anyone or wait for anyone to catch up to you. You can simply go your own way and trust that everything meant for you will come in its perfect time, in its perfect way. You can stop viewing dating as something you have to do and start viewing it as something you get to do. You can stop frantically searching for “the one” and allow yourself to have a little fun. Breathe. Relax. Trust. Let go. Laugh. Smile. Live. Your life is unfolding just as it should . . . so stop trying to skip ahead to the end, and enjoy the chapter you’re in. And while you’re at it, remember that finding love is merely one chapter of your story. There is still an entire book of other crazy, beautiful, wild, funny, colorful, meaningful adventures to be lived.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“I’m not suggesting that you juggle a dozen different guys and put your heart on the line, emotionally attaching yourself to every single one of them—far from it. You can play the field without trying to date the whole team! All I’m suggesting is that you try a bit to ease off the frantic search for happily ever after and start being happy right now. Allow yourself to date some “wrong” people. Spend time with people whose company you happen to enjoy, even if you don’t see yourself marching down the aisle with them tomorrow. Maintain a healthy perspective on dating and stop setting your heart, your soul, your emotions, and especially your self-worth out on the line with every single person you encounter. When the time is right, you will know, and the safeguards you’ve put in place will fall away naturally. But until then—relax! Have fun! Be yourself in an outfit you didn’t go out and buy specifically for the date. I have found, oddly enough, that most men tend to think women look a lot cuter in sweats and a ponytail than in a little black dress and Louboutins, anyway. (But ultimately, you should always dress for you and not for someone who may or may not end up becoming a significant part of your life.) Most of all, no more letting the swipe rule your life. Stop looking for any dating app or anyone you might meet on a dating app to bring you the happiness and completeness you should be giving yourself. Engage, converse, get out of your safe little comfort zone, and just get to know people with no other agenda than getting to know people. Approach dating from a place of, Do I like him? instead of always obsessing over, Does he like me? Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to make a good impression on someone we don’t even stop to ask ourselves if we are impressed with them. Finally, stop looking to every person to be the great love of your life, and allow dating to be a great adventure in your life. You’ll likely make some amazing friends out of it, you’ll definitely get some great stories out of it, and, who knows . . . having the time of your life just might lead you to the love of your life.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“Take the pressure off by looking at dating as a great way to get to know new people and to have new experiences rather than expecting every man you meet to wife you up by the third date. Maintain your own identity, lifestyle, hobbies, and plans, and let dating complement that lifestyle instead of supplement it. You are single, and you know what single also means? Free. Free to travel, free to volunteer for charity organizations you believe in, free to take salsa lessons, free to splurge on that designer bag you found on Poshmark. When you have your own full, busy life, you’re less likely to look for your value in the swipe. Hit the pause button on the frantic search for Mr. Right and just let yourself have some fun with Mr. Right Now! Not every person you date is going to be marriage material. Not every person you date is going to be “the one,” or even in the running to be “the one.” But every person you date is going to make you a little bit better at dating. A little more relaxed. A little more open to love. A little more certain about exactly what you’re looking for. People are sent into our lives to teach us things we need to learn about ourselves . . . so look at dating as setting out a welcome mat for all sorts of little messengers who each have something new to show you about you.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“So . . . yes, bad dates will happen in life, and snarflers and love bombers and bad kissers will come along, and sometimes you’ll show up to a date hoping for a prince and meet a frog. But if you’re tempted to lose heart—don’t. There are some great guys out there (despite what your experiences or my experiences or statistics might tell you), and sometimes you have to weed through a few thorns to get to the roses. That’s okay. Because all that really matters is you showed up. You tried. You put yourself out there. You were brave. And when it comes to modern dating . . . that’s all you can do.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself

“You don’t have to be a detective to detect real, genuine interest. So, if you find yourself having to use a microscope to search for his feelings for you, chances are, they’re not strong enough. What it boils down to is this: if someone genuinely wants to make an effort, they will. If they want to text you, call you, love you, and be with you, they’ll do those things. And if they don’t, they won’t. No amount of asking, begging, bargaining, chasing, hoping, or wishing will change a thing. You deserve someone who cannot wait to text you and talk to you and spend time with you and get to know you and fall in love with you and sweep you off your feet. Please stop settling for halfhearted and lukewarm textationships instead of actual relationships. You, quite simply, deserve more. And it’s sooooo much better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you FEEL alone.”
― Mandy Hale, Don't Believe the Swipe: Finding Love without Losing Yourself