Troublemaker Quotes

“It’s taken me years to assemble this selection of fun cardigans.” “That is the saddest sentence I have ever heard, and there is no such thing as a fun cardigan.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“Why is fun such an important thing to be had? And who says it’s not fun for me to stay home with Atticus and do my crafting?” “First of all—never say the word ‘crafting’ to me again.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“It’s not like being struck by lightning. It’s more like drowning and being saved at the same time.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“I finally realize that Ryder is watching me watch his dad. Two Vega boys are grinning at me at the same time. I can’t decide if I’m luckier or in more trouble than I ever have been, but both of my ovaries are melting.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“I lower myself to the rug, sitting off to the side of him, and I can’t help it if he gets a glimpse of cleavage and bra. It’s not my fault that the fabric of this jumpsuit isn’t glued to my skin. I’m not the boss of gravity.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“We are all made of stardust, as we have learned today, and my body seems to have some kind of cosmic connection to Alex Vega’s.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“Fuck you, Andrew Lloyd Webber. You can kiss my magical Mr. Mistoffelees.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“But everything’s spinning, and my eyes aren’t even open. Uh-oh. I might not feel good. Fuck you, my liver. Not now!”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“There’s the CAA agent who didn’t want to sign me when I was a theatre director and now calls me every week because he wants me to cast his clients in my movies. He can kiss my Tony-nominated ass.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“I cup her face in my hands. “In case you’re wondering…” I kiss her forehead. “I’m falling in love with you. Hard and fast, and I refuse to stop.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“She is bathed in moonlight now, and every inch of her silky, slender naked body should be kissed. By me. With the reverence and urgency of an eager student, but I lie here in silent awe of her. Falling slowly and hard and fast all at once. I want her. This is who I want.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“Emilia is somehow every boyish fantasy, ever divorced dad practical wish, and every filthy grown man desire that I’ve ever had. She’s brought a weary part of me back to life, and I want to give it all back to her. Every night and day.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“Her white blouse is buttoned nearly all the way up, and she appears to be wearing a tight white tank top underneath it. But it’s wet in a really great place, and Miss Stiles appears to be wearing a very thin white bra underneath that tank top. He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m currently teaching my son a very important lesson in how to behave like a gentleman, even when you can see the outline of a beautiful woman’s erect nipple.
“Did you spill water on your boob?” my son asks her.
Or maybe not.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“We’re leaving in like five minutes,” Shane says apologetically. “I promised Willa I’d pick up matzo ball soup from Canter’s on the way home.”
“And I promised Kat I wouldn’t stay here past ten because I don’t want to.”
“I knew it.” I shake my head. It’s barely ten o-clock. “I should have come earlier. But I didn’t want to.”
“Par-tayyyy!” Shane flashes the sign of the horns with his hands, and then we all show each other the latest pictures of our kids like total badasses.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker

“Permission to take this dumpster fire of a wardrobe, which represents your dumpster fire of a love life, to an actual dumpster and set it on fire.”
“Permission not granted. These are very work appropriate. Seven-year-olds like and respect me when I wear these clothes.”
“Right, well, my grown man penis literally started shrivelling as soon as I saw these cardigans.”
“It’s taken me years to assemble this collection of fun cardigans.”
“That is the saddest sentence I have ever heard, and there is no such thing as a fun cardigan.”
― Kayley Loring, Troublemaker