The Wedding Game Quotes

“Booze bags?” Fay lifts a brow. “How did you know?” Farrah asks, plugging her nose and throwing back the shot. “There are two types of hangovers when you girls come in. The first is just a regular hangover, where you look like death but still have your wits about you. Then there’s booze-bag drunk, where you both look like you slept in a dumpster and sucked on sugarcane the whole night.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Unless you’re here to tell her everything’s okay, you can leave, and I’m taking my wedding gift back, because there is no way in hell you’ll get a three-hundred-dollar espresso machine from me. And yes, I may have stolen it from work because we have ten extra in storage, but you still won’t get it.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Trust me—these major life moments need to be cherished with the ones you love. I’ve spent most of my big moments with no one. It’s lonely, and it leaves everything feeling smaller, sadder. This argument is not worth it. Not even close to worth it.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Because even though you’re older, I’m wiser. Never forget that.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“You don’t have to be a struggling artist to be an artist. What idiots. You can make money and create.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“So the question is, Have we seen each other before? Have we sat back to back at the diner before? Passed each other on the street? Flagged down the same taxi? It’s a weird sensation, wondering if the person you just met might be someone you’ve been crossing paths with for years.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Yup. That’s what I like to do on the weekends—follow irritable egomaniacs around just to annoy them.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“I hope his brother accidentally uses his ass as a pincushion.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Too much too soon?” Thad asks, clearly sensing my need to flee the scene of the crime, where I hugged my brother twice in a row just for showing up at his apartment.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“The last person I ever want to be is my father. I make sure every day that the apple has fallen as far away from the tree as possible.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Dad was a workaholic on Wall Street; Mom was an emotionless trophy wife. They were picture perfect on the outside, a tragedy of a marriage on the inside.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“better. I want to be the man you deserve. The strong, put-together”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“She wasn’t being abhorrent. That was the leftover booze talking. It has to seep out of you like the devil, slowly bringing you back to life. Anything you overheard is clearly just Satan himself exiting the body.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“LunaMoonCrafts: It was a penis. Not just one penis, but a basket of penises with lettering that said “Eat a basket of dicks.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“do you mean you’ve never had pineapple?”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“There’s no contact, for fuck’s sake. But the punching sound effects coming from both parties are entertaining, to say the least. Pow. Zap. Swap. Kapow. I feel like I’m watching an old episode of Batman.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“And just like that, they take part in the weirdest—and only—air fistfight I’ve ever seen.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“I take another bite, savoring how moist the cake is. I moan. “This is so moist.” “Beyond moist. The most moist in all the land,” he says with a smile. “If there was a picture in the dictionary for moist, this cake would be famous for setting the standards of moistness.” “If this cake hosted a party, they would call it the hostess with the moistest.” I snort so hard that I swear cake almost flies through my nose. I swallow quickly and catch a breath, but I can’t contain my laughter. My hand falls to my chest. I try to gather myself, but it’s impossible. Tears stream down my face. “Hashtag . . . Hostess . . . with the Moistest,” I choke out between fits of giggles.”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game

“Pot roast is only wickedly delicious when caressed every hour while in the Crock-Pot. Everyone knows this. Alec doesn’t seem like a caresser: he’s more of a dump it, leave it, and eat it kind of Crock-Pot human. Just because it steams and cooks the food on its own doesn’t mean it should be left unattended. Crock-Pot meals need friends too!”
― Meghan Quinn, The Wedding Game