King Bullet Quotes

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” “What else do you want?” “You usually have some smartass comeback.” “I’m too tired for that shit right now. Aren’t you?” “Most definitely.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“No one says anything for a minute. Then Fuck Hollywood says, “I know it’s early, but can we start drinking?”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“What happened to your face?” she says idly. “Which time?” “The new one.” “I got shot.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“How is he?” she says, looking at Kasabian. “He’ll be fine. Sore as hell for a while, but fine.” “We should all be so lucky.” “True. Janet tells me that you’re still waiting for a final Immigration interview.” She nods infinitesimally.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about Abbot. I have to call him back, but what am I supposed to say? Were you going to hang me out to dry last night? Was I going to be bait to bring King Bullet into the open? Do you want me to be bait now that you’re fessing up about a super weapon in your Fortress of Solitude? Even if the Council isn’t planning my unfortunate demise, the situation feels like they want to drag me into a fight while caring fuck all what happens to me. What do I owe the Council? Nothing.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“He finishes and wipes his mouth. As he folds his napkin he says, “As the poet once said, ‘Love has more faces than the moon.’” “What the hell does that mean?” “I have no idea. But it’s very pretty, don’t you think?”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“The waiter brings the lamb chops. I’m still angry, but I take a bite of one. And it’s like someone split my head open and filled it full of heavenly choirs and motel sex with Candy.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Ignore him. He thinks the Last Supper was nachos and Twinkies.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“There’s a homeless guy hanging around outside. He’s wearing two or three ragged coats and a sweat-stained Captain America baseball cap. Any other day, I might feel sorry for him, but today I eye him like he’s a napping T. rex. He mistakes my look for sympathy and heads my way. Or maybe he’s a Shoggot lookout and I’m going to get to shoot someone after all. He holds out a grimy, callused hand in my direction and we lock eyes. I should be able to read him this close and know whether the homeless look is a gaff or not. But I can’t get a lock on him. His mind is going in a dozen directions at once, which tracks for some of the wilder Shoggots. I keep my eyes on his, giving him my best Lee Van Cleef narrow-eyed stare. Soon, his eyes twitch away. He pulls back his hand and limps behind a parking meter, like he thinks I won’t be able to see him there.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Exactly. I’m the man who makes things happy behind the scenes, but no one knows. I’m Dr. Mabuse.” “That’s great. Just remember: Dr. Mabuse ended up in the nuthouse.” Kasabian makes a face. “Always with the negative waves, Moriarty.” I shake my head. “You aren’t Donald Sutherland.” “And you aren’t Clint Eastwood, so just hold the damn book while I finish.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Yes!” he yells like he just cured cancer. He even smiles when he looks at me. “Remember my streaming service?” “You mean your betrayal of all movie rental shops ever? I remember.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I hate that there are nervous butterflies in my stomach, but there’s no denying it.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“This morning, Allegra said that my pinkie looks good and will probably heal up okay. Not a hundred percent, but pretty okay. She had these big clunky chunks of something like cloudy stones. Like big opals.” “It sounds like divine light glass.” She laughs a little at that. “Is that like holy water? A priest blesses it and suddenly it’s magic.” I set down my cup. “Nope. It’s part of one of the vessels that God used to make the first stars.” “Get out of here.” “It’s true. One of the vessels broke. The glass fell to Earth and created life. Including us.” “You’re fucking with me.” “I’m not. We’re one gigantic cosmic mistake.” Fuck Hollywood stares off into space for a minute. Eventually, she looks at me. “That’s kind of cool when you think about it,” she says. “I mean, if we’re just a mistake it means that anything nice we do is special. Any music or paintings or movies or people we love. They’re all special because we’re not even supposed to be here.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“You really are lousy with people being nice to you.” “It’s easier getting punched.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Promise that you’re not trying any heroics today.” “Don’t worry. I couldn’t steal a Milk-Bone from a Chihuahua.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“So, that was King Bullet. He seems nice, in a Charlie Manson meets P. T. Barnum kind of way.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“What a goddamn egomaniac. King Bullet is one prancing show pony show-off.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Once I’ve dumped the trash, I head back to the bedroom and drop onto the mattress. Allegra is waiting and gives me a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you look. She comes over and pokes at the kpinga wound in my back. “Ow, goddammit,” I say. She ignores my whining and says, “Flip over. I want to get a look at that bullet wound.” I roll onto my back and she lets out a sigh. “Jesus, Stark. What, did you get hit by a cannon?” “A gold .45. If you’re going to get shot, a gold .45 is the classy way to do it.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I have to sit on the edge of the tub for a minute. As the adrenaline in my system winds down, the holes in my chest and back start to get to me. I have to hold on and breathe for a while until the dizziness passes.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I just lie there like an upside-down turtle trying to right itself.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“The mob looks wild, but King Bullet isn’t through with them yet. He says, “Existence is an open maw. Its teeth are white and sharp and once inside, nothing escapes. Existence is hungry. It must eat. It must drink. Will you let it devour you?” “No!” they scream back. “Will it drink you like wine?” “No!” He throws up his arms. “I am the bang.” The mob chants, “We are the bullet that blasts a hole in the world.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“We few, we happy few, we band of horrors. For they today who shed their blood with me shall be my brothers, my sisters, my blessed beasts. Now. Go forth and make creation weep.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“After all the shit I’ve put up with, I’m not staying in the cheap seats with the other losers. I lean into the crowd and muscle my way up close to the front. And there he is—King Bullet himself. He must have been talking for a while because the crowd is pretty wound up. “—we, born of plague, of demons and angels, the scum of the universe, possess a beauty they will never comprehend. Who among the unmarked can understand perfection? You, my children, my children, will dance on the burning grave of this world.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“It’s part Halloween, part metal show, and part pagan rite to some forgotten blood god. I remember Abbot told me that the virus can get into your brain and turn you strange. I just never imagined how many would be hit with it or how strange they would get. And he was right about something else too. Not all of the Shoggots are scarred. A fair number are as fresh-faced and normal looking as Mr. Rogers in his sweater.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“Do they wear masks?” Kasabian says. I think about it for a minute. “Yeah. The ones I’ve seen.” “So they must be scared too.” “Maybe. Maybe it’s camouflage. Or who dies and who doesn’t is just part of the game. The way they decorate their masks, it’s like Halloween in the psych ward.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I was telling him about those fake cop pendejos from the other night.” Kasabian does a theatrical shudder. “I had to make him stop. The whole cutting-off-heads thing. It’s triggering for me, you know?”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“He snatches the mask off completely and says, “We came all the way up from Santa Ana to see this shithole and we’re not leaving without having a drink.” “Santa Ana? Why don’t you go back down south and sneak a pint in Disneyland? That’ll make you feel edgy too, Beaver Cleaver.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I sit there on the bed feeling foolish and angry and completely confused by the world. After the craziness last night, I thought that today I might get a day off from the shitstorm. But, if anything, the situation is even worse.”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I’ve got to think about this. I thought Abbot was a stand-up guy, but how well do I know him outside of the few deals we’ve made? He’s the Augur. Power is his business. Everything else is secondary. Including me and a load of nine-to-five civilians downtown. I need to think about this more. But mostly I’ve got to watch my back. If something happens to me, what happens to Janet and Candy and the others?”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet

“I’m about to shout at the useless bastard when something clocks and my stomach tightens. “God, I’m stupid,” I say. “You told them you’d talked to me about dealing with King Bullet, didn’t you?” “I said that I’d asked you to look into the situation.” I run my fingers over Betty on my forehead. I say, “You’re not sending in your people because if I fix things, it looks good for you. But if something happens to me, I’m just some expendable stooge. And don’t tell me it’s the Council doing it and not you. If you wanted to overrule them, you’d find a way.” When Abbot speaks, his voice has the officious tone of a junior high principal. “They think, and I have to agree, that we need more information before we act.” “Sure. What’s a few more dead civilian nobodies and my donut shop when you have your mansions to look after?” “What donut shop?” he says. “What are you talking about?” “And even if the crazies turn off the power, you can hoodoo your lights and air-conditioning back on like nothing happened.” “Look,” he says, and this time he sounds pissed. “If you had something solid that I could take to the Council. Some way that we could get to King Bullet himself. I know that they’d listen to reason.” “Because they’re always ready to jump in and help the little guy, right?”
― Richard Kadrey, King Bullet