The Dating Detox Quotes

“It was a “Come As Your Childhood Ambition” theme party. You know: vets, pilots, ballet
dancers…I really did always want to be a librarian.’
‘You’re actually just a big dork, aren’t you?’ he says.
‘A big sexy dork,’ I correct him, taking a sip of my drink. ‘And that’s MISS Big Sexy Dork to
you.’ (Oh, hush. I know it’s obvious flirting. It just came out.)
‘Cocky. So cocky,’ he says, shaking his head.
I’m not sure what to say to this. Cocky is certainly not how I’d describe myself.
‘See? You’re not even bothering to reply. Cocky. Fine, I’ll talk. Even though you haven’t asked
me, I would have come as a dog. I thought I was a dog, actually, till I was five. I would only eat froma bowl on the floor next to our real dog, Scooby, and I wee-ed against trees whenever I could.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“He leans over and puts the radio on. It’s Jason Donovan’s ‘Sealed With A Kiss’.
‘I love the music they play up here in the sticks,’ I say
‘We’re in Oxfordshire, darling. Not Far East Kentucky,’ replies Jake
‘When I first heard this song, I thought it was about sea eels,’ I say. ‘Because it’s about summer,which means swimming, and I’d just found out that sea eels even existed, and it seemed to make sense.’
‘Sea eeled with a kiss?’ repeats Jake”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“He replies (four minutes later):
Anyone who throws a glass of wine in someone’s face has to expect to be talked about.

Shit.

I think about what to reply and (nine minutes later) settle on:
That was bar theatre. You wouldn’t guess it, but everyone involved was an actor. Even the
wine was acting.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“Do you know how to open a coconut?’
‘“Open” a coconut?’ I repeat.
‘I’m making a tropical punch.’
‘What a stunning idea,’ I say.
‘Not original enough for you, my little creative bunny? Fine. Here’s a twist for you: when
someone drinks it, you have to hit them in the face. Get it? Tropical punch.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“We kissed, and sparks went off in my chest. At the end of the night he said, ‘I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering if I’ll call tomorrow. I’ll do better than that.’ He called me the minute I got home and we talked till I fell asleep. I was smitten.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“How’d you recover from your Jager-binge last night?’ ‘Not bad,’ I say. ‘I think I’m allergic to it, you know. It makes me drunk. It’s weird.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“I can’t help crying when I’m angry. I think it’s just because there’s an overflow of emotion and it backs up into the ‘weep’ area of my head.”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox

“Everyone else’s life has moved on and up and I’m just here, treading vodka,”
― Gemma Burgess, The Dating Detox