Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Quotes

“If you want to ask someone else to change their behavior, use this formula: State their observable behavior. Tell them how it affects you. Tell them how this makes you feel. Tell them how you would prefer them to act in the future.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Keep your arms and legs uncrossed, sit or stand up straight, and keep your shoulders relaxed. Keep your tone of voice even. Never shout. If you appear calm and assertive, others will take you more seriously.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: What Kind of Communicator are You? Based on the descriptions above, how would you describe your communication style? Some of us are a mix of two styles. You might use different styles depending on who you’re talking to.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“When you behave assertively, you stand up for your wants and needs while respecting your partner and the relationship. But assertiveness goes beyond behavior. It’s about adopting a specific mindset that will help you communicate with anyone and develop healthy relationships based on mutual respect.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Why Are You Awesome? You’ll need to work with a trusted friend or family member during this exercise. Ask them to help you make a list of your best qualities. You can do this alone, but it’s often hard to see ourselves as we really are, so getting a second opinion makes the exercise more powerful. Next to each trait, write down three pieces of evidence. For instance, if you regularly help your elderly neighbor with their shopping, that would be strong evidence that you are kind and caring. Read through the list and evidence when you need a boost. To get the most from it, add extra traits and evidence whenever possible.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Who Really Has a Perfect Life? Have you ever envied someone who later turned out to be struggling with serious problems? Perhaps they had relationship problems, health problems, or other troubles they were hiding from you or the rest of the world? Now flip it around—what do you hide from the world? Perhaps you are a very open person who shares all of their problems, but most people edit their lives to make them seem happier and less chaotic than they are in reality. This exercise is a reminder that no one is perfectly happy or successful all the time. As the saying goes, assumptions are dangerous things to make! Wouldn’t you feel silly if you wasted time envying someone, only to later discover they are secretly struggling with lots of personal problems?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Psychologists think there is a genetic component to addictive behaviors. An addiction can also be a coping mechanism. If someone has suffered a bereavement, lost their job, or has an untreated mental illness, addiction can provide a distraction.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“If your luck turns against you, you’ll regret wasting time feeling bad about how good you have it now.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: What Does Good Luck Feel Like? Imagine that tomorrow morning, you wake up to learn that you’ve won the lottery or inherited a huge sum of money from a relative you didn’t even know existed. Give yourself a moment to really get into this fantasy. What are you seeing, hearing, thinking? Now ask yourself these questions: How do you feel? After the initial shock has worn off, are there any other feelings mixed in with your happiness? Are all of them pleasant?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Scheduling Alone Time Over the coming week, schedule at least one hour of alone time. You may need to get up earlier or go to bed later. If you work, you could get creative with your lunch hour. For example, you could schedule three 20-minute reading breaks throughout the week. No matter how busy your lifestyle, you need to take time for yourself. In fact, the busier your life, the more important it is!”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“How would I feel if I delayed it even further? What would I say to a friend in this situation? Having answered these questions, what do you think your next course of action should be?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Challenging Your Excuses & Assumptions What was the last excuse you used? Ask yourself these questions: What is the evidence that this excuse is valid? What assumptions am I making in this situation? What is the evidence to suggest that it would be better for me to start anyway? How would I feel if I started the task anyway?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: What Tasks Have You Been Procrastinating On? Make a list of all those tasks you’ve been delaying. Why do you think you’ve been procrastinating? How long have you been putting them off—days, weeks, months, or even years? How has your procrastination affected your work? How has it affected your personal life?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“For 20% of the adult population, procrastination is a chronic problem.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Simple self-care, such as getting enough sleep and spending enough time with friends and family, is important.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“OCD tends to flare up when someone is under stress.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“IE entails imagining yourself in a situation that triggers your anxiety. By visualizing the scene and observing your anxiety come and go without using your compulsive behaviors,”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“In ERP, you allow your obsessive thoughts to surface and then face them without using compulsive behaviors.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a popular CBT technique that teaches you to do just that.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Understanding Your Cycle Make a list of your obsessions, anxieties, and compulsive behaviors. How do they relate to one another? Draw up a diagram showing how your personal OCD cycle works.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Sometimes, OCD symptoms start after a major life event such as bereavement or job loss. Personality is also a factor. If you’ve always been a perfectionist, you are more vulnerable to OCD.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“The answer? First, take good care of yourself. Eat a good diet, schedule time for relaxation, and talk to someone you trust when life feels overwhelming. Second, start using your favorite CBT exercises again. If you’ve used CBT to feel better before, you can do it again. You have every reason to be optimistic. CBT worked for you in the past, and it will work again this time around.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“You’re more likely to have a relapse if you’ve been feeling tired or stressed.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“The solution is to notice that you are having an attack, practice thinking helpful thoughts, and to give yourself the chance to see that the situation really isn’t so bad after all. That means not fleeing, but instead waiting until the symptoms subside. This isn’t easy. It’s a form of exposure therapy. You need to stick it out and prove that panic attacks aren’t the end of the world.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Panic attacks are also linked to avoidance and safety behaviors, which keep anxiety going.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Monitoring Anxiety Levels Every time you expose yourself to a situation that makes you anxious, give yourself an anxiety score before and after each attempt. For instance, you may give yourself a score of 9 before putting yourself in an anxiety-inducing situation, and a 5 afterward. Your goal is to lower your anxiety to a score of 0-2. It’s okay if this takes longer than you might like!”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“It’s impossible to predict how long it will take for you to move past your fear. It depends on how strong your anxiety is, how much time you can spare to expose yourself to each step on your ladder, and how motivated you are to change.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Putting Your Fear into Words In a single sentence, summarize the main source of your fears. For example, “I am afraid of speaking to people I don’t know,” “I am afraid of cats,” or “I am afraid of visiting the dentist.” This exercise gives you a starting point for your therapy and focuses your mind. Having figured out your root fear, you can start to put together a plan of action. Exercise: Make A Fear Ladder Following the steps above, make your own “fear ladder.” Try to think of 5-10 situations. Be precise. For example, if you are afraid of elevators, are you scared of elevators in department stores, office buildings, or other settings? Are you scared of traveling one floor, three floors, or from top to bottom of a building?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“To get past your anxiety, you need to confront your fears and learn that you can come out well on the other side. This is called “exposure therapy.”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life

“Exercise: Logical Errors & Anxiety Go back to the chapter on CBT and depression. In that chapter, we looked at how logical errors keep depression going. Which of these errors do you think fuels your anxiety? Why? Can you give specific examples?”
― Olivia Telford, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Simple Techniques to Instantly Be Happier, Find Inner Peace, and Improve Your Life