Better Small Talk Quotes

“The 1:1:1 method can be summed up as starting a story as close to the end as possible. Most stories end before they get to the end, in terms of impact on the listener, their attention span, and the energy that you have to tell it.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“you should become the type of person you would like to get to know. You prefer someone who actively skydives over someone who watches television all day. You prefer someone who has something to teach you in an interesting subject. You prefer someone who displays passion and has opinions on a wide range of topics. Are you this person?”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“A final example is “How did you feel about your weekend? What was the best part?”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“es más sostenible, sencillo y práctico es prepararse de antemano para una conversación.”
― Patrick King, Mejorando las charlas: Habla con quien sea, evita la incomodidad, genera conversaciones profundas y haz amigos de verdad

“indagar de manera más profunda e intensa en nuestras comunicaciones puede crear resultados positivos más rápidamente de lo que uno piensa.”
― Patrick King, Mejorando las charlas: Habla con quien sea, evita la incomodidad, genera conversaciones profundas y haz amigos de verdad

“All this requires is that you ask how people feel about or would react to certain events, things, or situations.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“The 5 Ws work so well because they allow you to tie in different details to the person with whom you’re speaking. Think of yourself as a detective sifting through different clues to solve a mystery.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“The final step of this set of free-association exercises is to choose five random words from the dictionary and make up a story that involves all of the words, as quickly as possible.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“Tell me about the time you . . .” versus “How was that?” “Did you like that . . .?” versus “How was it?” “You look focused. What happened in your morning . . .?” versus “How are you?”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“forth a topic or question in a way that a person will feel compelled to engage or elaborate.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“The third and final indirect method of breaking the ice is to comment on a commonality you both share.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“The second, indirect method of breaking the ice is to comment on something in the environment, context, or specific situation.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“The first, indirect method of breaking the ice is to ask people for objective information or a subjective opinion.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“a playful, relaxed attitude like the one you already have with your friends is just right. Be less predictable and give unexpected, unconventional answers.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“opinion disclosure—brings you both closer still.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“getting to know you” phase where you can start sharing details of your life—where you work or live, interests,”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“To warm up your conversation and small talk skills, you just need to do something we’ve done almost every day in our lives: read out loud.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“La conversación, y por extensión la socialización y el cultivo de las relaciones con las personas, es algo que pasa por etapas, no de un solo golpe.”
― Patrick King, Mejorando las charlas: Habla con quien sea, evita la incomodidad, genera conversaciones profundas y haz amigos de verdad

“Puedes hacer más amigos en dos meses al interesarte en otras personas que en dos años tratado que otras personas se interesen en ti”. Dale Carnegie.”
― Patrick King, Mejorando las charlas: Habla con quien sea, evita la incomodidad, genera conversaciones profundas y haz amigos de verdad

“There is the status quo, the event that kicks things off, the set of consequences for changing the status quo, the climax or resolution, and then what happens after the fact.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“A story can be composed solely of (1) one action, (2) one emotion to be evoked, and (3) a one-sentence summary. Don’t get lost rambling, and also make sure your listener feels that they are fully participating in the conversation.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“1:1:1”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“Remember that even though you are trying to tell a compelling story, you are not really an entertainer on a stage. Your primary goal is not to get people to applaud and think you’re awesome—the goal is to make other people feel relaxed and happy, and to get good, satisfying conversation flowing. And that means, the sooner you can get off your podium, the better!”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“even if you follow these steps, sometimes people either aren’t willing to engage or not good at opening up themselves. You can blast past this by using forms of elicitation, in which you put forth a topic or question in a way that a person will feel compelled to engage or elaborate. These take the form of prompting the person to reply to your recognition, encouraging mutual complaining, assisting your naiveté, and correcting your incorrect assumption or information.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“What determines whether you hit it off with someone? It’s not circumstantial; rather, it’s a matter of you taking charge and setting the tone to be friendly and open. Most people treat others like strangers and thus won’t become friends. So change that script from the very beginning, put people at ease and let them be comfortable around you.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“However, it’s not negative to talk about negativity because it’s an emotion like any other, and the more emotion you can generate in your interaction, the greater an impression you will make.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“(Of course, the best topics are always somewhat inappropriate. Very few topics are truly inappropriate—you just have to speak about those topics in an appropriate manner.)”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“We all dislike small talk, but it does have a role. Getting to know someone happens in a sequential manner, and we cannot skip steps if we want to go deeper. It can be said that there are four stages to an interaction, and small talk is the first, followed by fact disclosure, then opinion disclosure, then emotion disclosure. The sequence can be played with, but understanding small talk’s role is important.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“Daily life: What did you do over the weekend? Anything notable? How is your week/day going? Anything notable? How is your family/significant other? Anything notable? How is work going? Anything notable? Personal: What are your hobbies? Anything notable? What’s your biggest passion or interest outside of work? Anything notable? Where are you from? Anything notable? How long have you lived at your current location and worked at your current job? Anything notable? Where did you go to school and what subjects and activities were you involved in? Anything notable? What do you do for work? Anything notable? Notable: What are your five most unique experiences? What are your five most personally significant accomplishments? What are ten strengths—things you are above average at, no matter how big or small. Name ten places you have traveled in the past five years. Name the past five times you have gone out to a social event. Name ten things you cannot live without—don’t take this question too literally. It is asking about your interests, not household staples. Staying Current: What are the top five current events of the week and month? Learn the basics and develop an opinion and stance on them. What are four funny personal situations from the past week? Be able to summarize them as a brief story. What are the four most interesting things you’ve read or heard about in the past week? Be able to summarize them as a brief story.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends

“Let’s be honest, you’ve probably encountered somebody with an opinion that made you scratch your head, to say the least. Here’s the thing though: a great conversationalist can always find some common ground, can be respectful, lighthearted, curious and kind…without agreeing in the least with their conversation partner. It’s all about prioritizing enjoyable human connection over the need to agree or be right.”
― Patrick King, Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends