Tales of the City Quotes

“Nobody's happy. What's happy? Happiness is over when the lights come on."
The older woman poured herself a glass of sangria. "Screw that," she said quietly.
"What?"
"Screw that. Wash your mouth out. Who taught you that half-assed existential drivel?”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Garbage, you know, is very revealing.It beats the shit out of tarot cards.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Mona knocked at the wrong time.
“Uh…yeah…wait a minute, Mona -- ”
Mona shouted through the door. “Room service, gentlemen. Just pull the covers up.”
Michael grinned at Jon. “My roommate. Brace yourself.”
Seconds later, Mona burst through the doorway with a tray of coffee and croissants.
“Hi! I’m Nancy Drew! You must be the Hardy Boys!”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“We’re gonna be … I mean people like you and me … we’re gonna be fifty-year-old libertines in a world full of twenty-year-old Calvinists.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“if you’re going to be degenerate, you might as well be a lady about it, don’t you think?”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Somepeople drink to foregt, I smoke to remember" Anna Madrigal in Tales of the City...”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Mona … lots of things are more binding than sex. They last longer too.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Down the Peninsula at Cypress Lawn Cemetery, a woman in a paisley turban climbed out of a battered automobile and trudged up the hillside to a new grave.

She stood there for a moment, humming to herself, then removed a joint from a tortoise-shell cigarette case and laid it gently on the grave.

"Have fun," she smiled. "It's Colombian.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“There’s a theory,” said Anna, handing him a cup of tea as she climbed back into bed, “that we are all Atlanteans.” “Who?” “Us. San Franciscans.” Edgar grinned indulgently, bracing himself for another yarn. Anna caught it. “Do you want to hear it … or are you getting stuffy on me?” “Go ahead. Tell me a story.” “Well … in one of our last incarnations, we were all citizens of Atlantis. All of us. You, me, Frannie, DeDe, Mary Ann…” “Are you sure she’s out of the building?” “She’s gone to her switchboard. Will you relax?” “O.K. I’m relaxed.” “All right, then. We all lived in this lovely, enlightened kingdom that sank beneath the sea a long time ago. Now we’ve come back to this special peninsula on the edge of the continent … because we know, in a secret corner of our minds, that we must return together to the sea.” “The earthquake.” Anna nodded. “Don’t you see? You said the earthquake, not an earthquake. You’re expecting it. We’re all expecting it.” “So what does that have to do with Atlantis?” “The Transamerica Pyramid, for one thing.” “Huh?” “Don’t you know what dominated the skyline of Atlantis, Edgar … the thing that loomed over everything?” He shook his head. “A pyramid! An enormous pyramid with a beacon burning at the top!”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Could you conjugate that? To sleaze. I sleaze. You sleaze. We all have sleazen.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Hey, you look at your tits; I'll look at mine! (Michael Tolliver, Tales of the City)”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“What are you into, anyway?” “Solitude.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“we’re gonna be fifty-year-old libertines in a world full of twenty-year-old Calvinists.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Well … everything gets old after a while. I personally get a little sick of wrecking my liver at The Lion for the privilege of tricking with some guy whose lover is in L.A. for the weekend.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Well … not exactly together. He’d buy a sofa and I’d buy a couple of matching chairs. One has to plan on divorce at all times … still, it was a landmark of sorts. I’d never gotten to the furniture-buying stage before.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“You should never know what you are … or your magic will disappear.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“The thing that bugs me... is that you never really know what women are like... not for a long time, anyway. They only show you what they want you to see."
Michael nodded. "So you fantasize over all the wrong things.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of The City

“Accu-Jac”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Would she ever stop feeling like a colonist on the moon?”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Beyond the dark trees, Seal Rock gleamed eerily against the ocean, white as an iceberg under the moon. “Magic,” she said, squeezing his arm.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“A stately row of Monterey pines lined the highway on either side of the security gates.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“SAGEBRUSH AND AVOCADO TREES SHIMMERED IN THE afternoon heat as the huge gold limousine sped north through the hills of Escondido.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“I guess I’ll just … play it by ear.” She could have bitten her tongue off.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“I’m Michael,” said Michael, just as his nose started to bleed again.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“the parrots were annoyingly arrogant. You could buy the most beautiful one in town, she observed, but that wouldn’t make it love you. You could feed it, care for it and exclaim over its loveliness, but there was nothing to guarantee that it would stay home with you. There had to be a lesson there somewhere.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Mmm,” he said vaguely, trying to sound polite but disinterested.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“RUBY MILLER’S HOUSE WAS ON ORTEGA STREET IN THE Sunset district, a green stucco bungalow with a manicured lawn and a bowl of plastic roses in the picture window.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Joaquin and Laurel spent dinner discussing their favorite years. Joaquin believed in 1957. Laurel felt 1967 was where it was at … or where it had been at.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“One was a fiftyish, red-bearded North Beach poet named Joaquin Schwartz. (“A dear man,” Mrs. Madrigal confided to Mary Ann, “but I wish he’d learn to use capital letters.”)”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City

“Mary Ann did not know. She avoided the issue by ordering a turkey sandwich and a bean salad. Mona ordered another Pimm’s Cup.”
― Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City