The Lost Art of Listening Quotes

“A good listener is a witness, not a judge of your experience.”
― Michael P Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“If you doubt it, try telling someone about a problem you’re having and see how long it takes before he interrupts to describe a similar experience of his own or to offer advice—advice that may suit him more than it does you.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“We’re most reactive to the things we secretly accuse ourselves of.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“The yearning to be heard is a yearning to escape our isolation and bridge the space that separates us.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“When we learn to hear the unspoken feelings beneath someone’s anger or impatience, we discover the power to release the bitterness that keeps people apart. With a little effort, we can hear the hurt behind expressions of hostility, the resentment behind avoidance, and the vulnerability that makes people afraid to speak or truly listen.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Just as it hurts not to be listened to when you’re excited about something special, it’s painful not to feel listened to by someone special, someone you expect to care about you.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“The essence of good listening is empathy, which can be achieved only by suspending our preoccupation with ourselves and entering into the experience of the other person.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Being listened to means that we are taken seriously, that our ideas and feelings are recognized, and, ultimately, that what we have to say matters.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Nothing hurts more than the sense that the people we care about aren’t really listening. We never outgrow the need to have our feelings known.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“we must forget ourselves and submit to the other person’s need for attention.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“If you don't listen to yourself, it’s unlikely that anyone else will. Listening to yourself means not only respecting your own feelings but also getting to know something about your style of communicating.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire, and judgement and, for a few moments at least, existing for the other person”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“What we can’t tolerate in others is what we can’t tolerate in ourselves.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“We are most reactive to the things we secretly accuse ourselves of”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Being Heard Means Being Taken Seriously”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Other people’s reactions often seem unreasonable to us. What makes their reactions reasonable to them is feeling wounded by a lack of responsiveness.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“But sometimes not being responded to leaves us feeling so hurt and angry that it can make us retreat from relationships, even for years.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Sometimes people appear to be listening but aren’t really hearing. Some people are good at being silent when we talk. Sometimes they betray their lack of interest by glancing around and shifting their weight back and forth. At other times, however, listeners show no sign of inattention, but still we know they aren’t really hearing what we have to say. It feels like they don’t care.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“A good opportunity to learn more about the opposing voices inside you is the next time you find it necessary to ask someone's advice. The need to ask is a sign that contending voices have nearly equal claim on your attention. What is the nature of those voices? Does the question of whether or not to go to an unimportant meeting symbolize a debate between the dutiful child and the rebellious one? And if you ask someone's advice, aren't you aware of what he or she will say? And do you sometimes seek out the right person to give you the answer that part of you really wants to hear?”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

“Attention must be paid.”
― Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships