Nailed Quotes

“There’s more than one way to pet a cat,” he reasons. “What?” He’s got me this time, a choked laugh forcing its way out of my throat. “The expression is ‘there’s more than one way to skin a cat’,” I correct him. He looks stricken. “What kind of sick fuck skins a cat?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“If he hasn’t figured out by now that irritating him is my kink, I really can’t help him.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“I gave up hoping boyfriends would stick a long damn time ago. But god damn, Stone is tempting me to hope again, and that’s absolutely terrifying.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“I don’t want you to be a different person,” he says. “I happen to like my prickly cactus just fine.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“I’m shit at dating,” I finally admit. “You already know I’m not the most expressive guy. I’m not very affectionate. I’m moody as fuck. Why the hell would you want to date me?” “All of that is true,” he agrees, and I scowl at him. “But,” he tacks on, “you’re also kind under your tough outer shell, you’re funny when you let your guard down, and you have a big heart. You’re like one of those cactuses with the flowers that bloom on them.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“So, what, you think everyone is just out there fucking up all the time and then eventually finding someone who doesn’t mind the way they fuck up?” “Basically.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“My dad always told me I’m too rough around the edges, I’ll never hold down a job,” he admits, his cheeks pinking slightly. “Eh, smooth edges are for buttplugs.” A look of surprise crosses his face, and he bursts out laughing.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“There was like a gallon of cum and enough butter for a Paula Deen recipe up my ass,” he says, and I choke on a laugh, turning it into a cough at the last second.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“We’re probably too volatile together for anything other than a few steamy hookups, but something tells me those few hookups would’ve been explosive.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Keep them off my lawn,” I say again with as much dignity as a man can possess standing bare ass naked while a goat eats his underwear.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Months ago, before I bought this house, I told Cole I was hoping for a guy to just fall into my lap. This was not what I had in mind. I drag in a painful breath, my whole body aching as he tries to right himself.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“What the fuck even are goats?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Something I can help you with?” “Nothing. You just remind me of my pinky toe,” he says, and I scrunch my eyebrows at him. “What?” Is this going to be another one of his ass backward colloquialisms? “Sooner or later I’m going to bang you on a table,” he answers with a devilish smirk.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“The plot thickens,” Stone says in a playful voice, leaning in and resting his arm on the bar. “Also, I sometimes call my dick the plot.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“My dad always told me I’m too rough around the edges, I’ll never hold down a job,” he admits, his cheeks pinking slightly. “Eh, smooth edges are for buttplugs.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“I’m almost afraid to make fun of how bad you are in case there’s an actual underlying condition that makes you so very bad at darts. Like, were your parents first cousins who also sucked at darts?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“the tail end of a conversation. “I’m between a cock and a hard place here,” Stone says.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“The expression is ‘there’s more than one way to skin a cat’,” I correct him. He looks stricken. “What kind of sick fuck skins a cat?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Nothing. You just remind me of my pinky toe,” he says, and I scrunch my eyebrows at him. “What?” Is this going to be another one of his ass backward colloquialisms? “Sooner or later I’m going to bang you on a table,” he answers with a devilish smirk.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“turns out Dare sucks at darts. “I’m almost afraid to make fun of how bad you are in case there’s an actual underlying condition that makes you so very bad at darts. Like, were your parents first cousins who also sucked at darts?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Look, let’s stop beating the bush, and you can tell me what you’re actually mad about here, because I doubt it’s the fact”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Unless he’s luring me into a false sense of security? He’s waiting for me to let my guard down, and then bam, he’ll back a cement truck right up to my garage and fill it solid. I shudder at the thought. On the other hand, it’s possible I’m being overly paranoid.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Stop it,” I squeal. Yes, I squeal, and I’m not entirely proud of that, but I’m being molested by a goat, so it’s not my finest moment all around. He isn’t fazed by my protests, keeping a tight hold on my underwear and tugging them. They slip down off my ass, coming dangerously close to exposing my limp cock.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Stone is lucky I’ve had all this court-ordered anger management, because if he’d pulled any of this shit on me in my twenties, he would’ve ended up with a black eye. I’m not proud of the bad”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Keep them off my lawn,” I say again with as much dignity as a man can possess standing bare ass naked while a goat eats his underwear. I storm back into my house, dragging Rudy along with me. And, dammit, I promised myself I’d walk away”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“I shit you not, she opened the door to let me in, and four chickens ran out.” Ollie’s voice echoes down the hallway of the Four Bears Construction office building, followed by the booming laugh of my other two co-owners and best friends, Cole and Everett.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“Ouch, someone’s got a chimp on his shoulder this morning,”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“smile. If he hasn’t figured out by now that irritating him is my kink, I really can’t help him.”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed

“So, what, you think everyone is just out there fucking up all the time and then eventually finding someone who doesn’t mind the way they fuck up?”
― K.M. Neuhold, Nailed