The Alto Wore Tweed Quotes

“He works in profanity the way another artist might work in watercolors, each word carrying various hues and subtleties not available to the casual curser. His work in the field of gerunds alone would make him a legend in any seaport on the east coast.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed

“She was attractive in the sort of way that some heavy women with very short hair and no makeup, wearing a three piece brown-tweed suit with wingtips and smoking a cigar can be called attractive. She reminded me of my Aunt Mable. Or Winston Churchill.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed

“she sat down gracefully, crossing her tweed-covered legs with an elegance belying the sound of tweed-on-tweed, a sound not unlike forty Amish farmers shucking corn.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed

“What was quite amusing for the choir also became very amusing for the congregation when an unnamed tenor, reading The Alto Wore Tweed, let loose a guffaw just as Herself reached the pinnacle of her sermon. Most of the parishioners turned and looked up. It was at this point that Elaine's head popped through her choir robe. She saw the congregation looking up at her, tipped her chair sideways, and, with her arms totally immobile and no way to keep herself upright, fell onto the floor.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed

“I figured my odds were about as good as those of a floral design consultant in a biker bar.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed

“His work in the field of gerunds alone would make him a legend in any seaport on the east coast.”
― Mark Schweizer, The Alto Wore Tweed