Competent to Counsel Quotes

“Maturation is fundamentally the process of learning to discipline one’s self and to carry personal responsibility.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“God’s Word changes people, changes their thinking, changes their decisions, and changes their behavior. Change is an important matter to nouthetic counselors. The Scriptures everywhere anticipate change. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of change. His activity is everywhere represented as the dynamic and power behind the personality changes in God’s people.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The biblical picture of intimacy and love between the shepherd and the sheep is foreign to us. The oriental shepherd lived with his sheep. He slept with them out on the hillsides at night, as David must have done. He went out seeking the hundredth sheep, not satisfied with only ninety-nine in the fold.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“If two Christians properly talk over all of the things that disturb them, seek to do God’s will about them, and work together prayerfully, they can solve those problems.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Thus the goal of nouthetic counseling is set forth plainly in the Scriptures: to bring men into loving conformity to the law of God.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“If Freudianism is true, the most immoral people, or at best the most amoral people, should be the healthiest, whereas in fact the opposite is true. People in mental institutions and people who come to counseling invariably are people with great moral difficulties.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The question never seems to be asked: is psychiatry a valid discipline?”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The great revolution in psychiatry has solved few problems… One wonders how long the hoary errors of Freud will continue to plague psychiatry. 1 Patients, failing to recover after years of analysis and thousands of dollars later, have also been wondering about the boasts of psychiatry. Some, getting worse, have begun to suspect that many of their problems are iatrogenic (that is, treatment induced).”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The very person that such a client so dislikes is the person whom he has been allowing, strangely enough, to control his life by remote control. In reaction to the hated person he has been doing all he does over against that person. He is not free, but is bound by the very person whom he dislikes, and yet his anger burns so intensely that he is blinded to the foolishness of his pendulum action.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“According to Leviticus 19:17, 18 it is of the essence of love for one’s neighbor to avoid grudge bearing by dealing immediately with matters that have come between them. Resentment and hatred are not easily distinguished in Scripture.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“All living organisms grow. Growth may sometimes take place in large spurts, and at other times may occur more slowly. In all Christians the potential for growth is significant.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“In all such interpersonal relations, principles previously set forth in other sections of this book are applicable. The teacher must be careful to stress the urgency for reconciliation, the need for forgiveness and help, the importance of first removing the log from one’s own eye, and the necessity for attacking problems rather than people.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“They speak the truth with their neighbor for his welfare. Christians must willingly unveil their own hearts and share matters of mutual importance with one another, knowing others need information, encouragement, rebuke, correction, etc. They need one another, as truly as the parts of the body need each other. Just as in a well-coordinated organism all the parts of the body obey the head, the work of the Church must be coordinated by obedience to Jesus Christ. Each part needs him and needs the other parts of the body. The way in which we are bound together, the way in which we work together, the way in which we serve Christ together is by communicating his truth.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Often counselors find it necessary to spell out for clients methods for getting things done. They teach them first to plan their long-range goals. Then they show them how to plan the short-range goals which must be reached along the way to attaining long-range objectives. Thirdly, all of the goals are then scheduled as accurately as possible. Fourthly, the planning must be followed by doing. The scheduled goals become (1) incentives: it is easier to shoot for short-term goals; (2) milestones: goals performance may be checked.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The important factors in discipline are clarity, consistency, regularity, enforcibility and fairness. In adopting a code, first the parents agree to its terms. Next, the code is presented and explained to the children. They are given opportunity to negotiate any changes they believe would improve the code. Among younger children, these negotiations will largely pertain to determining punishments. Frequently, even very young children will suggest stronger and more appropriate punishments. Parents are the final authority under God, and may veto any proposals.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“On the whole, punishments that are productive (work details above and beyond ordinary chores) are the best punishments whenever they can be devised. Ordinary chores ought not to be used as punishments since parents should endeavor to get their children to enjoy helping out in the family.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Most cases of child discipline may be solved by establishing structure that will lead to the reenforcement of the biblical principles established for the home. To do this, the rules of the home need to be set out clearly. God has given parents full authority to be exercised under the rule of Scripture. The husband is to be the head of the home, the wife is to be his submissive helper, and the children are to love their parents, honoring and obeying them. But these are general principles which must be worked out in terms of the concrete problems children raise. What must be done when a child lies, talks back, fails to come home on time? One good way to determine fair consistent answers to such questions is to draw up a code of conduct. On a sheet, consisting of four columns, each column is headed by the words “Crime,” “Punishment,” “By Whom,” and “When.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Most cases of child discipline may be solved by establishing structure that will lead to the reenforcement of the biblical principles established for the home. To do this, the rules of the home need to be set out clearly.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“During his teens, parents ought to encourage the child to reevaluate his own life. He should reevaluate his standards and performance in terms of the Scriptures. He might well be helped to devise a teen-age program for putting off the old man and putting on the new man for himself. The teen-age period, of necessity, is a time of adjustment.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The parent may find it helpful to say something like this: John, I’m going to trust you to make your own decision about this matter before God. But I want you to do so responsibly. First, I want you to sit down and listen to my point of view as I understand the application of the Scriptures to the question, and I want to explain the consequences of this proposed action as I see them. After that I want you to take a week to think and pray about this matter before coming to a final decision (in a very important matter, or in the first instance of instituting self-discipline, the parent may also wish to request written reasons for the decision). Then after you have made it, I’ll say no more-but you must be prepared to face the consequences.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Clients frequently comment about the important part that insistence upon discipline played in the solution to their problems. At the end of counseling, when the six-week checkup comes around or during the debriefing session which closes regular counseling sessions, they often say something like, “We appreciate the fact that you were rough on us, that you were hard on us, that you did not let us get away with anything.” 1 Most people appreciate this because for the first time someone has held them to the commands and the commitments of Scripture. For the first time, their lives have begun to be structured biblically. For the first time the gimmicks, tricks and ruses that they developed to make others pity and coddle them have been penetrated.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“When counselors take clients seriously, they usually respond quickly, pouring out problems, failures and sins. Others who minimize such comments frequently succeed only in pushing material back down inside the client again. Clients understandably do not want to reveal themselves to someone who won’t take them seriously. Many clients receive some help almost immediately from the fact that someone at last has taken them seriously. Taking people seriously about their sins is an important way to give them hope.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Knowing that there will be a way out, an end to the problem, is itself reassuring.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“When clients think they are helpless, that some strange mysterious force is at work overpowering them, and they say that I Corinthians 10:13 does not apply to their case, the truth may be that they are not serious about wanting to do the Lord’s will. They may be talking out of both sides of their mouths. They may deceive others or even themselves, in part, about the sincerity of their desire to obey God.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“The fourth response is Christian: “It can be solved through Christ.” Notice that the first three responses leave the problem intact and as a result the person and his course of activity is changed. Man adapts to the problem; man is subdued by the problem; whereas in the fourth situation, the problem is dealt with. The problem is sliced in two. In nouthetic counseling, clients are taught to solve problems rather than adapt to them. There is a biblical solution to every problem. 1”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Christians, whose basic orientation has been reversed so that they now seek to glorify God, must learn to take the initiative, subdue and rule. To do nothing is to do something. To fail to bring biblical solutions to bear upon problems is to allow sinful conditions to continue. To accept them and adapt to them is contrary to God’s mandate. The concept of adaptation to sin is non-biblical.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“James directed that when the patient discusses his sickness with the elders and prayer is made, the possibility of sickness as the result of sin ought to be discussed. If sin is found in the background of the problem, it must be confessed.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“A Christian sins if he becomes a static, sedentary person who fears positive biblical change and frantically clings to the past, either in his personality growth, in his life decisions, or in his manner of living. To resist sanctifying change is to resist and grieve the Holy Spirit. The scriptural doctrine of sanctification necessarily involves growth in holiness. Christians must change in order to become more like Christ. Growth means changing into the fulness of the stature of Christ.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“But to a Christian, change should be thrilling rather than threatening. The Christian life is an adventure into God’s newness. Newness need not make the Christian feel insecure because the future is new only in that he has not yet experienced it; it is not unknown to God. Christ is the pioneer of the Christian’s faith. He is its author and finisher. He knows all about our lives. Christ himself has experienced the worst this life has to offer, all that death holds, and now stands victorious on the other side of both in eternal glory. So for the Christian the providence of God is a vital reality. The Savior has blazed a trail before him. 2”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling

“Static living, static decisions, static personality is inconsistent with the biblical picture of the new life. Where there is life there is growth, 1 and growth means change. Growth means maturation; it means refining of ideas and ways of doing things. So a Christian counselee must not be allowed to plead that he is what he is and nothing can be done about it.”
― Jay E. Adams, Competent to Counsel: Introduction to Nouthetic Counseling