The Other Half of Church Quotes

“Another culprit that leaks joy is unresolved trauma. From the brain’s perspective, trauma happens anytime we suffer alone. Suffering turns into trauma when we are unable to process our suffering with God and other people. Trauma is stored in our brain, in circuits of flesh, kind of like an armed mousetrap.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Even healthy seeds will not grow well in depleted soil.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Handling a narcissist who is already rooted in your community, possibly as a leader, is beyond the scope of this book. Jim Wilder has written at length on this topic in The Pandora Problem. (See Further Resources for This Chapter”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“The left brain runs at the speed of words; the right brain runs at the speed of joy.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“The right brain processes these questions: Who is happy to see me here? What do I feel right now? Is there anyone here who understands me? How do I act like myself right now? What do my people do in this situation? The answers to these questions drive our character development.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“A helpful exercise to revive this tired word is to replace “love” with the concept of attachment as we read these familiar Scriptures. For example, we looked at 1 John 4:11: “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” We can awaken our senses by replacing love with the idea of a family bond. A paraphrase might be, “Dear friends, since God has joyfully attached himself so firmly to us, we also ought to attach ourselves to each other as family members.” You will awaken and broaden your definition of love in the Bible by doing this exercise as a part of your spiritual practices. When we have an unclear understanding of love, our view of the church becomes distorted.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“sense of an enduring connection that brings life and all good things into a relationship.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“God designed a complex network of neurological circuits to work together to help us stay relationally connected and attuned to each other. When these relational circuits are running as designed, we call this “Relational Mode.” Our emotional and relational sensitivity is working and we look at life through a relational filter. We are emotionally attuned to other people and share their pain. In this mode our identity is stable and we spread joy and life to those around us.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“When we do not create a spiritual family with strong attachments, we cut off the flow of transformational power. Low-hesed churches may look fine on the outside. People may be friendly and enthusiastic about their church. They might be excited about their five-year plans and bold strategies to grow and do great things. Prioritizing plans and vision above hesed attachments (the prime movers of growth) produces little transformation. Many churches do good things in their communities and around the world, but operate more like an efficiently run religious institution than a family. They do many good things but may not possess good character.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“When our churches or communities have fear-based attachments to each other and to God, this creates a chaotic environment for growth.7 If attachments are weak or transitory instead of secure, development will be stunted. The neurological circuits that Jesus designed to build us into His image are running on empty. The soil is depleted.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Jim stressed that it was important for each memory to have two characteristics: (1) I am aware of the sensations in my body as I relive it, and (2) I feel some sort of connection with God in the memory. These two characteristics assure that my right brain stays involved in the practice. Otherwise it can easily shift toward left-brained gratitude (words) instead of right brained gratitude (images, autobiographical memories, relational connection, body integration). Building joy is a right-brain dominant exercise.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Joy gives us the freedom to live without masks because, in spite of our weaknesses, we know we are loved. We are not afraid of our vulnerabilities or exposure. Joy gives us the freedom from fear to live from the heart Jesus gave us. We discover increasing delight in becoming the people God knew we could be.5”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“The importance of joy to our brain highlights the fact that we must suffer in community. We were not meant to suffer alone.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Joy helps us regulate our emotions and endure suffering. Jesus refused to relinquish joy in the midst of His suffering on the cross. When we are able to stay relationally connected to others and God, we experience joy while we suffer. Joy does not remove our pain, but it gives us the strength to endure. Remember that joy is relational, so “joy in suffering” means that God and our community are glad to be with us in our distress. They do not allow us to suffer alone. We are able to bear our suffering like Jesus, “who for the joy set before Him endured the cross” (Heb. 12:2 NASB).”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Our right brain governs our emotions and awareness of our bodies. In times of distress, low joy, or general left-brained dominant living, this integration dims or breaks down. We will often feel “outside our bodies” or “in our minds.” In left-brained Christianity, we tend to lose our sense of feeling God’s presence in our body. The right brain governs this ability, so as we gravitate toward a full-brained discipleship, we grow to experience God in our bodies.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“(1) Joy is primarily transmitted through the face (especially the eyes) and secondarily through voice. (2) Joy is relational. It is what we feel when we are with someone who is happy to be with us. Joy does not exist outside of a relationship. (3) Joy is important to God and to us.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“This blessing expresses a joy that can be paraphrased, “May you feel the joy of God’s face shining on you because He is happy to be with you!”1”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Having no plan for transformation produces Christians with poor character who try to do good ministry. Jesus did the opposite. He started His ministry by preaching about a transformed inner life that drives the outer life. A transformed inner life then drives everything we do.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“What I realized later was that the people who did not respond to training likely had right-brain obstacles: low joy, isolation, a lack of loving community, poor identity formation, and unhealed trauma. Each of these was a relational/emotional problem requiring right-brain development. As a pastor, I did not realize that these obstacles even existed. I was ignorant of relational skills and could offer my people encouragement, prayer, Scripture, and spiritual disciplines. For some, it worked well; for others, not at all.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“This is a natural result of left-brained Christianity, which gravitates toward strategies that are measurable—number of dollars, number of people, number of campuses, number of small groups. The slow, messy work of character formation, which is hard to measure, is displaced by quantifiable goals.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“When Christian leaders do not train people in love, relational skills, and identity, this neglect produces a half-baked discipleship. Most leaders, like me, have never developed their own maturity skills. Churches are filled with leaders who are gifted at theology, preaching, and vision-casting, but may not have relational and emotional skills.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“If I lack right-brain relational development, the spiritual disciplines will be less effective. Even healthy seeds will not grow well in depleted soil.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Notice the order. Judas wonders why Jesus doesn’t reveal Himself to everyone. Jesus says that He reveals Himself only to those who love Him. Love is the first step. We love Jesus, and we will obey. When we do not love Jesus, we will not obey Him. We will see in later chapters that our loving attachment to Jesus forms our character. A left-brain view of Jesus’ teaching would conclude that we need to choose to obey, and this will prove that we love Him. This is exactly backwards. If I want to obey Jesus, I need to focus on right-brain skills that help me love Him and receive His love. My behavior will then take care of itself. Our brains are designed to change us through love.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Unfortunately, when he looked at churches, he noted a pattern of neglect. Spiritual formation was pushed to the side by leaders who focused on other priorities and projects. When this happened, character formation became ineffective, watered down, or dropped altogether. Christian leaders often did not take character transformation seriously. Poor character was the elephant in the church no one wanted to acknowledge.4 Willard believed that obedience comes from inner character transformation, what he called “the renovation of the heart.” In his opinion, disappointingly few hearts were being renovated.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Contrary to the popular misconception that people are left-brain or right-brain dominant, both sides are created to operate in harmony”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“When we neglect right-brain development in our discipleship, we ignore the side of the brain that specializes in character formation. Left-brained discipleship emphasizes beliefs, doctrine, willpower, and strategies but neglects right-brain loving attachments, joy, emotional development, and identity. Ignoring right-brain relational development creates Christians who believe in God’s love but have difficulty experiencing it in daily life, especially during distress.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Being a disciple of Jesus means reacting to the world as He would react. One author describes Christian discipleship as the “way to become the kind of person who does, easily and routinely, what Jesus said—does it without having to think much about it.”3 I like that explanation, but how do we train ourselves to spontaneously act and think like Jesus if this happens faster than conscious thought?”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Character formation, which is a primary responsibility of the church, is governed by the right brain, not the left brain. If we want to grow and transform our character into the character of Jesus, we must involve activities that stimulate and develop the right brain.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation

“Many of us have a habit of bonding with the food itself instead of the One who provided the food or the person who prepared it. Bonding with food leads to food addictions and unhealthy eating habits. When we bond with the food, we do not build our attachment with others at the table and God who provided the meal. For food to act as a bonding agent, we need good teaching and training in the community. Learning how to use food and drink to build our love for each other should be part of every church’s discipleship program.”
― Jim Wilder, The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation