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Six Seconds (Adrian Tarn #6) Six Seconds by E.R. Mason
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“But abandoning yourself that way invariably turns out to be a strange wayward path to a dead end. Usually it is caused by the mind disagreeing with the heart and until the two can be reconciled there will be two opposing forces controlling an erratic rudder through society’s ocean of emotion. Often the prospective dropoutee will show no outward appearance of internal conflict, at least until they end up in the proverbial alley with the paper bag that holds the bottle. Everything in their life appears perfectly logical, even to them. Their physical avatar is acting exactly the way society expects. All behavior fits right into social norms.  But inside the cranium the battle wages on in an endless loop. You should have done this. You should have done that. Maybe you could do this, or maybe you should do that. Right and wrong can become such a confusing contradiction to good and bad. Why so often is the thing you’d prefer not to do, the right thing to do, and vice-versa?”
E.R. Mason, Six Seconds