The Smartest Kid in the Universe Quotes

“What gets wetter the more it dries?”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“book. “I’m a thinker, not a doer, young man,” he said without bothering to look at Farooqi. The young biochemist wasn’t discouraged. “That’s why you need me, sir.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“MATH: THE ONLY PLACE WHERE PEOPLE CAN BUY 87 WATERMELONS AND NOBODY WONDERS WHY.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“What can you catch but not throw?”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Bat guano,” said Jake. “What’s guano?” asked Kojo. “A fancy word for ‘poop,’ ” said Grace.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“A stalactite holds tight to the ceiling,” said Jake proudly. “A stalagmite might climb up to the ceiling someday.” Grace and Kojo remained silent. Finally, Kojo exploded. “That’s it?” “Uh, yeah.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Maybe some Spam or SpaghettiOs?”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Two shovels and a pickax.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“No,” said Grace. “It’s just right, right, left, left.” “Correct,” said Jake before Mr. Lyons could say “right” again.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“No, I suppose not. Tell me, Jake, have the authorities apprehended this Monsieur Eriq LeVisqueux fellow?” “Not yet.” “Good, good,” Mrs. Malvolio muttered to herself. “Excuse me?” said Grace. “I was just remarking that it’s good that you three look so good.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“pi”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Being a math nerd led to those girl problems I told you about.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“You remind me of a young me, Jake!”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“You do? When I was your age, all I had was a girl problem.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“including a bag of Pirate’s Booty cheese puffs, which made the three friends laugh.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Ah,” said Jake. “Very tricky, Jenna. The answer, of course, is ‘diner.’ ‘Fiend’ is the word you would get if you took away one letter—‘r’ in this instance—but didn’t rearrange the letters. ‘Diner’ fulfills both criteria specified in the question.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Pirate booty,” said Grace. “You mean gold doubloons or those cheesy corn puffs?”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“We nuked a couple of frozen burritos,” said Jake. “Of course, the precise origin of burritos isn’t known. According to Wikipedia, some speculate that they might have originated in the eighteen hundreds among the vaqueros, the cowboys of northern Mexico.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“But then he’d have to tell her he’d disobeyed her orders (again) and dragged Emma down to the Imperial Marquis (again) to mooch a free gourmet meal off the hotel staff (again).”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“Jake’s phone vibrated and sounded its text alert: a funny armpit-fart ringtone.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1

“This is homeroom,” he’d said once. “If I were home, I’d still be sleeping. So keep quiet. I need a nap.”
― Chris Grabenstein, The Smartest Kid in the Universe, Book 1