The Queer Advantage Quotes

“I’m constantly learning more about myself and experiencing the world as a queer person: your body, sexuality, femininity, style, the way you present yourself to the world. All of these things can be a really loaded part of a queer person’s life without them even necessarily realizing it. The ultimate goal for me is complete freedom to express myself—however I please and however I feel is natural. It’s a work in progress to get to that point and I hope to stay on that journey.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I found a lot of comfort in hanging out with people who were older than me. People who were gay, who were tattooed, who were getting pierced. They were riding motorcycles to work and I was getting on the back and feeling free amongst people who were very, very different. I felt safe there.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“The mission of my life is to make queer people feel more connected to each other, and the idea that queer people anywhere are responsible for queer people everywhere. I took a quote from the Talmud that says, All the people of Israel are responsible for each other, and I took that and made it gay.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Has your perception of being gay changed? One hundred percent. I now think it’s the biggest blessing. I feel bad for my straight friends. For example, they have to deal with the expectation of marriage and kids by a certain age. To some degree, they probably have to continue to adhere to those expectations I’ve held myself to—of being a professional of a certain kind. Achieving a certain kind of success as externally defined, rather than internally defined. Which, when you come out, you unshackle yourself from. Straight men are wonderful, but a lot of them keep each other at arm’s length. They don’t get too close, aren’t that friendly, feel they’ve got to be a certain idea of what it means to be “macho” and a “man.” And a man is solid and not that nice. If they have an emotion, it’s anger and no other emotions besides that. Being gay has helped me understand that, no, being friendly is great. You should be friendly to everybody, you should make relationships with people: straight men, women, nonbinary people, whomever. It’s helped me understand how to not be judgmental. It’s helped me understand how to try to make my own way in life and not to find success according to money or a title, but according to fulfillment. Empirically speaking, when I look at straight men in the world, so many of them seem boxed in by toxic masculinity and this idea of being strong, tough, and not vulnerable. And that’s bullshit. Being gay helps you get out of that toxic masculine vortex and start thinking, What are my values? What kind of person do I want to be? For most, that helps us be friendlier, more open, more positive, more inclined to be supportive of people, and less inclined to judge. Being gay has shaped who I am in a huge way and made me a more positive and optimistic person; someone who can deal with people better, who can be more mature, and more self-confident. I am also a white guy though. I am a beneficiary of that privilege, too, and it behooves me not to put this all on homosexuality as if I get to claim minority status and not recognize the rest of my privilege.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I’m really good with people as a function of compensating for the fact that my presence makes them uncomfortable.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I like how heteronormative culture is now adopting this concept of authenticity. Different cultures and different tribes within society are now adopting authenticity: women, people of color, body acceptance. Self-expression is power. I don’t know what else is more powerful than self-expression.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“When you get past living in the closet, you’re really committed to that self-expression, which becomes your passport to freedom on a lot of levels.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“People who are queer are authentic, not out of choice, but out of survival.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“When you look at some of the great fashion, art, music, film, literature, there’s a queer person in the mix, in a very big way, making that happen. Whether or not we choose to tap into it, it’s a gift we all have. It’s that twinkle in our eyes.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“So, in a way, it sort of relieved pressure I was putting on myself, because I could channel it into doing this for other people. It’s sometimes easier to do things for other people than it is for ourselves.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Being queer pushed me to be my best because I didn’t want to be anything other than that for the people who have come before me”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“In some parts of the world, being gay is a punishable act. And in a way, living out and speaking out for gay rights, for other gay people, and for other people in the LGBTQ+ community, is a political act in itself. But for me and for a lot of other people, it’s our daily life.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Shine brightly. Shine the fuck on. Feel your strength. Move through the world undeterred.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“But I will reiterate that I think queer people are magic, and I do want to have it both ways. I’m very like, Love is love, let’s have all the rights. Let’s have all of the options and opportunities and flexibility that are afforded straight people. Let’s be protected and let’s be like everyone else. And there’s this kind of radical and contrarian part of me that’s like, No. Fuck that, we’re not like them. We are different, and arguably better. I don’t want what makes us different and special to be eroded in our continued quest for equality. Fiercely protecting and celebrating what is special and distinct and unique about queer people as a whole is super-important. And they’re not mutually exclusive. I think we can have both.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“but I do think there is a part of me that has always wanted or needed to be the best, so that I would be unimpeachable or inarguable.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I reveled in my difference. For the most part, I wanted to celebrate what made me different. I knew I had something other people didn’t. And part of that was being queer and being able to bridge the communication gap between men and women.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“If you want to see positivity in front of you, you have to radiate it yourself. If you’re a nasty person at all times of every day, then that’s what you’re gonna attract to yourself.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I realized how much more power I had because I was playing with my whole heart and speaking with my full throat.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“the more I learned through speaking with people and reading about our history, the angrier I became.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Being queer gives you X-ray vision. Superman has the ability to see through walls and bricks. Being queer gives you the ability to see into people’s hearts, just like you have radioactive blood. You can see into other people’s hearts and know how much turmoil there is, and to respond to them with kindness, sympathy, and love.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“In the end, being queer has meant I was different. When you’re a child or adolescent, being different is such a curse. All you want to do is to fit in. And then you realize that all those people who fit in are bores. They will spend their whole lives being bores and being nothing. And that, as a queer person, the very thing that caused all those tears is now your glorious gift. And it enables you to turn the thing you always thought was your curse into your superpower.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“How has being queer advantaged you in your career? For one thing, it’s given me a sense of fierceness. When you get beaten up for who you are, when you get told that who you are and what you are is an impossibility, when you are teased and bullied and hated just for the sheer fact of who you are, it lights a fire in you. A fire to set things right. A fire to get your revenge and, at least in my case, to get your revenge by succeeding. No matter how low they brought you, you know that by the sheer fire of your imagination and creativity and your refusal to die, that you will have the last laugh in the end.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“It’s never too late to become yourself.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Everyone should be able to bring all of themselves to the workplace and feel like they don’t have to hide or cover. You can only be your best when you embrace your authentic self.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I’m very proud to be in a position to hire people. It’s important to me to be able to hire people who identify in the same way I do. So part of it is wanting to amass and retain a certain amount of power and privilege so that I can do that for other people.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“For me, it’s very important to try to be successful to create opportunities for other queer people, for other Black people, for other women, for other people who identify as all of the above. Because it’s not a good thing for me to be one of one.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“Has any bullying you experienced as a child stayed with you? Yeah, it’s all still there. I remember the first person. It was in sixth grade and he said, “Cliff, you are so fairy nice.” I remember it as clear as if it just happened right now. It does show up sometimes, even in the corporate world. If I am dealing with straight male colleagues who are higher in rank than me, it sometimes can be a trigger—particularly if they get mad, frustrated, or upset. I have this reflexive instinct to want to please them. I want them to like me. I’ve worked on it over the years, but the demons are still there.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“We now get to benefit from the hard work of the people who came before us, and the people who have fought to make this possible for us.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“a lot of my adult life as a queer person has been deprogramming and unlearning a lot of things I taught myself or was taught as a little kid.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity

“I’m very thankful and proud to be a part of a community, and I consider myself really lucky to be queer. It’s a special human experience that can bring people together.”
― Andrew Gelwicks, The Queer Advantage: Conversations with LGBTQ+ Leaders on the Power of Identity