Emotionally Immature Parents Quotes

“With emotionally immature parents, they have trained you to either give too much or too little,”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“They Respect Boundaries Emotionally mature people are very courteous, respect and honor boundaries. They are in search of connection and not invasion. These people do not assume that since you love them then you love what they love too. Rather, they take your feelings and desires into consideration; they are in tune with how others feel. Though this may seem like a lot, but to them it’s as natural as breathing in air.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Emotionally Mature People Work With Reality Rather Than Fight Reality These sets of people are constantly working to change the things they don’t like, but are always aware of reality in its own terms. When problems arise, they try and fix rather than overreacting or obsessing on how things should be and if things aren’t working out a planned, they just make the best out of the situation.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Family system theory which was proposed by Murray Bowen in 1978 gives an insight on how immature parents create emotional enmeshment over their children true self.  Parents who are immature do not have genuine conversations and intimacy with their children. Such families are better referred to as housemates. Bowen further explained that when parents tend to cause emotional injuries into their children, rather than the children sitting to mourn, such children should indulge into other things that make them happy without losing themselves in the process.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Emotionally immature parents are unhelpful when their children need emotional support, they may be dismissive when their child expresses his feelings of being hurt. Internalizers, due to their natural sensitivity, do emotional work for their parents and sometimes, internalizers play the role of emotional support before they are old enough to do so.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Internalizers are unable to recognize abuse for what it is because they look within themselves when things go wrong to seek for the reasons that things went wrong. If parents do not see their actions as abuse, the child won’t recognize it as such either.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“When children have had to become tough and learn to do things on their own, they can develop an attitude of rejection towards their own feelings. It is likely that they have learned to keep away from those painful feelings which their emotionally immature parents cannot help them with.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“The self-sufficiency of children who are internalizers often creates the impression that they have no needs. They are expected to be okay without anyone looking out for them or carefully watching over them. They are often referred to as “old souls” and their parents trust them to always do the right things.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Basically, everyone needs a sense of genuine intimate connection to feel fully secure and there is nothing wrong with that.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Seeing wanting understanding and empathy as a sign of weakness is characteristic of emotionally immature people.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Internalizers are sensitive to the quality and genuineness of emotional intimacy in their relationships because they are attuned to feelings. They strongly desire emotional intimacy. Internalizers need to share their inner experience; their desire for a real emotional connection is a great part of their existence. For internalizers, nothing hurts more than being around people who cannot engage them emotionally, it is not a social urge for them but rather a strong hunger to connect on a more intimate level with like-minded people who can understand them and when they are unable to make this kind of connection, they feel lonely emotionally.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“However, children brought up by immature parents have a contrary experience of such. Their positive qualities are usually not dwelt upon or appreciated because such parents do not have the ability to see the strength of their children. This has resulted in making the children embarrassed of every quality they possess.. They are used to encouraging the good qualities of others and feel it is wrong for their own strength to be pointed out.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: A Healing Guide to Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self Involved Parents

“When parents are emotionally immature, it is guaranteed that their children will suffer emotional neglect. This deprivation, however, is silent and is an invisible experience for these children, they will feel emptiness but they will not know what name to ascribe to it. They will grow up like this and still not be able to identify or realize that they are suffering from emotional loneliness but they will feel different from those who truly seem at ease.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: A Healing Guide to Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self Involved Parents

“When growing, internalizers that are emotionally neglected continue to feel as if they have to do everything on their own and then they become more adept at doing this. Internalizers are able to assimilate whatever they get from others because they like to learn and remember experiences. Internalizers also have an excellent emotional memory and will and they reach within themselves when they are not getting emotional nurturance from others. Internalizers often take on so much responsibility for other people without much thought and so are very grateful for even the tiniest bit of recognition and this is one of the specific characteristics of an internalizer.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: A Healing Guide to Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self Involved Parents

“People Who Are Immature Emotionally Are Also Shallow With Their Thinking”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: A Healing Guide to Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self Involved Parents

“Rather than take advantage of you, emotionally mature people are generous and always want to help out, they are generous with their time while at the same time asking for help when they need it. They are always willing to give more than they get back but in all they do they try to create a balance between things.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“This is usually the case that in themselves have problems and are looking for ways to use others to make themselves feel good. Rather than stick with these kinds of people, its best to migrate to those who respect you for who you are.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“They Are Consistent, Hence Reliable These people will not spring inconsistent surprises on you as they have an integrated sense of self, they are predictable to an extent and can be counted upon to be the same in different situations. They can be trusted as their consistency makes them so trustworthy.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“When you view it from this aspect, you will agree with me that changing their heart is a lifetime fantasy.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“The Unreal Belief That A Parent Will Change When children feel unloved by their parents, they feel incomplete and do all they can to make them have a change of mind. But in most cases, the anger they vent on the children is not due to the way they act, as children are lovely but rather it can be the circumstances that surrounded their birth or they want to make up for their own childhood hurt. When”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“All of these occur due to beliefs and some things we have been made to believe even when the contrary is occurring in our presence. Some of the beliefs include: •​Only your parents genuinely want the best for you •​Even when you trust no one, your parents should be an exception. •​Your parents love you •​Parents are wiser •​They will always be there for you •​You can trust their advice •​Everything they tell you is true All of these are true as parents are amazing but when your parents are immature then all of the statements cannot work for you. This chapter aims to help you know your parents and guidelines on how to relate with them without losing yourself in the process. There are unreal beliefs that a parent will change.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Waking Up to Your Strengths When you think of working on your weakness, you should also appreciate your strength. However, children brought up by immature parents have a contrary experience of such. Their positive qualities are usually not dwelt upon or appreciated because such parents do not have the ability to see the strength of their children. This has resulted in making the children embarrassed of every quality they possess.. They are used to encouraging the good qualities of others and feel it is wrong for their own strength to be pointed out.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Waking Up from Idealizing Others Most cultures make us believe parents know better or even in the real sense they are wiser. This unproved theory was only backed up with age. Even when children become adults, the environment does not make them acknowledge their mistakes and weaknesses. Sometimes, it is obvious that they are wrong but the idea we have grown to believe is that their mistakes should be endured not pointed out because all of their acts can be justified. Unfortunately, it is because we don’t want them to feel vulnerable but the truth still stands that they cannot always be correct.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Michael’s story He sat down to think of how much his life has crumbled after losing his job and his wife filing for a divorce for a twelve years marriage. Everyone had thought he was at the top of his game and he was having a fulfilled lifetime and he believed them. When things came crumbling, he decided to give therapy a chance before he finally went insane with the happenings around him. Thinking deep down, he realized he had been living a major part of his life to please people. He endured a marriage that lacked love and saw the whole thing crumbling and then he felt like a failure contrary to what he had thought initially.  As he reflected on his past, he could boldly say, ‘I am glad all the setback occurred, they are my source of inspiration’. When he was asked about his next pursuit on success, he responded ‘success can wait. Firstly, I have to know me’.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Waking Up Through Relationship Breakdown Experience in the world of psychotherapy has made me realize that relationship problems are a major wake up tool. Being that we display painful patterns which we were taught during childhood into our adult relationships. When we do not get our emotional needs met, they become unresolved issues. In intimate adult relationships, sometimes we project our parent’s issues onto our partners and unconsciously, we become angry with them.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“A lot of people who suffered emotional neglect as children do not often realize that their independence was not a choice but a necessity.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Neglect can also occur in the form of emotionally immature parents giving such comforts that do not really help the scared child in any way.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“When people show genuine interest in the feelings of an internalizer, they often become surprised and are caught off-guard.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Internalizers who grew up in a family with emotionally immature parents are often surprised when they find out that their feelings are being taken seriously. They downplay their emotional needs and some even believe they shouldn’t get therapy because there are people who need more help than they do, this indicates that they most likely grew in a home where externalizers were the only ones who were helped.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents

“Emotionally immature people are externalizers who are unable to reap the benefit of genuine emotional engagement and calm themselves.”
― Dr.Theresa J. Covert, Emotionally Immature Parents: Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect due to Absent and Self involved Parents