On Thin Ice Quotes

“Pro tip: Disabling an alien doomsday device when you have nine-plus minutes of nigh-infinite power and the aid of a troubled but still brilliant A-class hero isn’t as hard as you’d think.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“They were both ready to drop-kick a bitch”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“Lord Inferno’s Magnificent Laboratory of Science and Things That Go Boom.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“a solid wall of muscle and might all mixed together with thoughtfulness and late-night taco runs.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“They were gorgeous, that much was certain, and they were polished to shine brighter than anything I’d ever seen before, except for maybe Diamond himself. He was one shiny motherfucker.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“Search his room,” my father spat. “Turn everything upside down until you find every shred of evidence that he’s a traitor.” I had to bite my tongue at the irony of the situation. Just a few months ago, my father was the world’s most feared villain, and now, he was ready to burn his entire island to the ground to find the villain that had out-villained him.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“If someone had told me at any point in my life that I would be traveling the open water via the inside of a narwhal and constantly fearing that I would be eaten alive, I would have first asked what kind of substance they were taking, and then laughed my ass off.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“I think that’s just the mysterious aura around here,” Eric said, brushing off my gut feeling. “It has that vibe, like in video games. You know that the ice levels are always the coolest.” I stared at him, at first because he called my gut a liar, but then… “Hehe, ‘coolest,’” I snorted, and Eric cackled. “Stoooop!”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“I thought it was a nice landing,” Eric commented as he climbed out of his self-made hole. “There’s snow doubt about it,” I replied back with a grin as I freed myself from the icy confines I’d created.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“I whipped my head around to glare at Eric, but when our eyes met, I saw something deep and wise inside of them, as though Eric had just enough booze in his system to have all of the answers to life’s simple questions there before him at his disposal.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“She’s an ol’ girl, but she’ll get the job done,” Bastion replied proudly, then bowed to Aylin. “Terribly sorry, Miss. I didn’t catch your name.” “I did not throw it,” Aylin answered”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Leviathan!” He announced. There were several beats of silence where absolutely nothing happened. I looked from him to Gemma, then to Eric and Aylin, who shared the same puzzled expression that I wore on my own features. We continued to watch Bastion as he looked expectantly over his right shoulder, then chuckle nervously. He cleared his throat. “I said, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Leviathan!” When again nothing happened, he turned around, stomped his booted feet on the dock, and shook his fists angrily. “What the hell! Why don’t you ever listen to me?”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“That’s the spot…” he drawled as he quickly whipped around for another round of pets. “For a talking cat, you’re easy to please,” I joked as I scratched under his chin. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over this amazing pat-down,” he purred louder. I laughed as I shook my head. “I wish I could give you more, but I have to get ready.” Buttons yawned and gave me a lazy stink eye before flopping down in the middle of my bed and rolling around. “Fine, fine. I guess I can wait until you come back to get more.” “Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” I snorted as I climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom. “It’s not like I’m never coming back.” “Hey, don’t forget that we both nearly died after you got up and left me to have breakfast,” he pointed out with a sad tone in his deep voice.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“My heart squeezed, and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, but the good kind. Was there a good kind of heart attack? No? Oh well.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“Hey,” Matt greeted me with a smile in his eyes. “Hey, yourself,” I replied. “I’d offer you some punch, but it tastes like spicy watermelon.” Matt scrunched his nose and made a face. “Sounds awful.” “It was,” I agreed, “and now my intestines are at risk of igniting, probably.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice

“We all looked at one another and immediately started to laugh. Our clothes made us look like we were all about to drop the sickest emo album this side of the island. “We look ridiculous.” Kristen giggled. “Nah, we just make the clothes look good.” Eric grinned. “Come on. Let’s go recruit some groupies or something.”
― Simon Archer, On Thin Ice