The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1 Quotes

“Come on, Bob, kill it!” “I’m trying, Tom. It won’t stop moving.” I looked at Wolf and whispered, “What do you think they are trying to kill?” Wolf shrugged. “Let’s go check it out.” We snuck forward until we could get a visual on what was happening. We saw that there were two large slimes and one baby slime. Judging by the way the large slimes were protecting the baby, I assumed it was their child rather than a random baby slime. The two players were slashing at the large slimes who were trying to defend themselves but failing. Eventually the players chopped the two large slimes into medium slimes, then into small slimes until they had finally killed all the pieces. That left the baby slime all alone. Bob and Tom looked at each other. “I think we should kill it,” said Tom. “Otherwise, it’s going to grow into an adult slime and try to get its revenge on us.” Where have I heard this story before? Bob laughed. “Slimes are stupid. It won’t be able to get revenge because it will be dead.” The players began to move forward to the baby slime. And that’s when something snapped in me. I was reminded of the night my parents sacrificed their lives for me. I couldn’t let this baby slime be killed. I jumped up and rushed to the players. Wolf shout-whispered, “No! Don’t do it!” I didn’t care. I ran up to the two players and without giving them a chance to surrender, mercilessly assassinated them. The baby slime looked at me with fear in its eyes and backed away, fearful that I would kill it too. But I didn’t. I put my sword back into my inventory and reached down and gently picked up the slime. “Can you talk?” I asked. The slime made cooing and booping noises, but apparently was too young to be able to speak yet. “I wish I could talk to you, Child. I would tell you that everything is going to be alright. I’ll be your new guardian.” Wolf arrived by my side a moment later. “It’s not part of the Way to kill players unless the killing falls under a specific rule or arises from self-defense.” I shot a look at Wolf. “I was defending the life of another. Is that not the same as self-defense?” “I guess, but it’s … hurrr … it’s a slime.” “Are you saying a slime has less right to be alive than us?” “I’m not saying that, but now that you mention it….” “Shut up. I’m taking charge of this child.” Wolf shook his head. “You realize that according to the Way, if you take the life of an orphan into your hands you have to protect it and see that it makes it to adulthood, just as I have with you.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“judge.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“Winter”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“The consequences of some of my choices have been so horrific, so burdensome, that this is the only way I can free my mind from the horrors of what my life has become. But it wasn’t always that way. I wasn’t always a wandering trader.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“The llama stable. Winter pointed to a shovel on the wall. “Grab one. We have to clean up the llama poop.” I slumped my shoulders in defeat. I knew there was no way of getting out of this. I walked over to the wall and grabbed a shovel. “How long do we have to do this?” “All day. Wickham wants all the new recruits to shovel llama poop all day long until he feels we are ready for the next step in our learning process.” Maybe I had made a bad decision about becoming a wandering trader?”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“They killed one of my neighbors, an old man who was in his front yard smelling a flower. The husks snuck up behind him – he couldn’t hear very well – and ate him while he was just trying to enjoy the scent of a flower. Savage. His screams alerted the village. Within seconds, about a dozen men in the village were able to gather weapons and dispatch the husks, though several were injured in the battle. That was the only time I remember my mom being frightened. Because she was frightened, I felt frightened too.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“wandering trader.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“This would’ve been so much easier if llamas could talk. I could have given each a job interview or something.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“I’m as sure as the sun is square.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“Ha ha ha. You just got dissed by a wandering trader, bro,” said the other player. “Whatever, bro. Wandering traders are lame.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“poop,”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“Kevin”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“Wolf reached into his inventory and pulled out his enchanted ax and chopped off the player’s head. The player disappeared into a puff of smoke.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1

“Wolf smiled. “Only one hundred and fifty emeralds.”
― Dr. Block, The Ballad of Winston the Wandering Trader, Book 1