Adventures in Opting Out Quotes

“There is a cost to staying on one path, especially if it doesn’t feel like the one you should be on. But there is also a cost to walking away and venturing into the unknown. The real question that was embedded in each one of my concerns was, What price am I willing to pay?”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Leading an Intentional Life

“To live an intentional life, then, you don’t need to have your whole life figured out. Instead, all you have to do is have some purpose or reason behind every decision you make.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Leading an Intentional Life

“It can be hard to return to a place that wants you to stay the same. People will always make comments when you decide to live differently, and even more comments when you get lost or you fail at trying to live differently.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Leading an Intentional Life

“No two paths are the same, just as no two people are the same.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Leading an Intentional Life

“The entire column (called “The Ghost Ship That Didn’t Carry Us”), which is brilliant, could be summed up in her closing paragraph: “I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“I’m not here to say that opting out is the best way to live. I am saying that it is one way to live. One path to choose. But you can absolutely choose to stay on the one you’re on.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Whenever this realization comes to you, don’t jump to the next goal or the next opt-out. And don’t worry if you can’t see what’s ahead. Nobody can. Just be here. Stand right where you are and feel the ground beneath your feet. Then ask yourself a few questions. How does it feel to be here right now? What does your life look like? Who have you met along the way? Who has helped you or impacted your life in a new way? Who or what have you lost? What have you given up to make this possible? What have you gained? Why has it been worth it?”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“summed up as “Be here.” I know that parts of your adventure in opting out will be a struggle. But my hope is that you eventually get to a place where you’re not thinking about it anymore. And then suddenly it hits you. And you realize you’re doing it—you’re living life on this new path. Don’t rush through this moment. It’s okay if it doesn’t come to you at the exact minute you might have “reached” the summit. If you don’t have a lot of practice living in the present, you probably won’t see it right away, and that’s okay.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“And you can apply the idea to all areas of your life. Work. Health. Relationships. Money. Hobbies. We’re always moving the notch one step ahead and at a slight incline, thinking the only way forward is up. Next, next, next. More, more, more. Up, up, up. We are so focused on making linear progress that we lose sight of what’s in front of us and we are never really here.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Rather than fear it, maybe we could try to remember that our time together was always going to be temporary. So loosen your grip. Adjust your straps. Release whatever is still holding you back from walking through this world as your full self. And remember that a successful relationship doesn’t have to be one that lasts forever. It can simply serve a purpose. I hope you can find some peace in the letting go. It is a practice of its own.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“You can wave goodbye and miss people, but it doesn’t need to be dramatic. You can simply trust that you were on the same road together for a reason, and be grateful for the time you spent together.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“People will always make comments when you decide to live a countercultural lifestyle.” They will have even more to say if you struggle with it.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Today, if I decide to change plans partway through an opt-out, it’s very intentional. I know it’s not a failure, and that I am not a failure. I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay to try something new and figure out that it’s not the right choice for you. Or that it might feel right for a few months or even years, but that doesn’t mean it has to feel right forever.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“So please: take the time to appreciate what it feels like to be on your new path. Don’t just take the next step or try to rush to the summit. If you don’t stop to enjoy the views along the way, then your only memory of the adventure will be that you did what you intended to do. But you won’t remember any of the beautiful moments that made it so meaningful. And you will want to be able to draw on that stuff later—especially when things get harder, which I can guarantee they will.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“But if we walk around just saying no to everything that doesn’t perfectly align with an idea we have about ourselves or our lives, it strips us of the opportunities to find people who might be on similar paths. Or the chance to lend a hand and help someone else.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“But if we walk around just saying no to everything that doesn’t perfectly align with an idea we have about ourselves or our lives, it strips us of the opportunities to find people who might be on similar paths. Or the chance to lend a hand”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Even if we don’t like admitting it, it’s hard to completely strip ourselves from wanting to feel the acceptance that comes from fitting in, or the validation from others that we are doing the right thing. But by slowing down and doing a little bit less, Brooke and Ben have been able to carve out a path that’s right for their family—and there’s nothing more meaningful than that.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“This is one of my biggest problems with the self-help space in general: the idea that is sold to us is that if one person can do something, anyone can do that same thing. How many times have you read those exact words in a book or Instagram post? “If I can do it, you can do it too!” Instead, what we should be saying is that if one person can change their life, it’s just proof that it’s possible for a person to change their life. That’s it!”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“This is one of my biggest problems with the self-help space in general: the idea that is sold to us is that if one person can do something, anyone can do that same thing. How many times have you read those exact words in a book or Instagram post? “If I can do it, you can do it too!” Instead, what we should be saying is that if one person can change their life, it’s just proof that it’s possible”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“When you decide to take a new path and are truly open to where it could lead you, I find there are lots of little moments of awe and wonder in the beginning. It feeds your confidence and makes you all the more excited to see what’s around the next bend. And if you don’t stop to enjoy these moments, who will?”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“doing it “wrong” or “failing” and simply try. Remember that to opt out is to step off the path you’re on and start doing what feels right for you. To do it, you have to embrace the fact that it will be an adventure filled with risks and uncertainty, but also rewards and lessons that could potentially change your life in ways you have never imagined. If you look at it like an experiment, it becomes an opportunity to gain new experience and learn along the way.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“You can’t know what’s going to happen or how you’re going to feel about it until you start going down the new path. Instead, you have to work past the fear of doing it “wrong” or “failing” and simply try.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“The word “trying” itself is so freeing. Like there’s no perfect path or goal. You can just try something new and see what happens!”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Life was supposed to be a collection of steady employment and assets, wasn’t it? Of working hard, saving your money, buying a home, maybe getting married and having kids, and then retiring and traveling after that. There was a path to go down, and it was very clearly marked by my parents and many of the friends around me. Adventures weren’t on it, nor were they encouraged to be taken.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“So, who would you rather be? The person who tries to convince someone not to go after what they want, simply because you would be afraid to do what they are thinking about doing? Or the person who holds out their hand and helps people get wherever they want to go?”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Most of the time when we give advice, we think we are supporting the person who came to us with their problems. But the reality is that sometimes that support feels more like the crushing of one’s dreams. And it’s really not up to us to decide what anyone else’s dreams are, or to control how they live their lives.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“Instead of jumping ship, you can simply turn a few degrees in another direction and take a single step. Then take another step, and another step, and another—and then look up and around to see if you like where you’re heading.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“To do it, you have to embrace the fact that it will be an adventure, filled with risks and uncertainty, but also rewards and lessons that could potentially change your life in ways you have never imagined.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“But I’m happy to keep showing up and doing that work, because this way of life keeps leading me in a direction that is so much more fulfilling than where my original path was taking me.”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life

“What if you could go on an adventure in opting out? What if you could know that it will come with risks and uncertainty but also rewards and lessons that could change your life in ways you have never imagined? Does that sound a little less scary?”
― Cait Flanders, Adventures in Opting Out: A Field Guide to Living an Intentional Life